The Healing Process
by thestupidgenius1123
Summary: "He was safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me… And I knew that, too, without even having to ask." Book 2.5 of the Risks Trilogy. After Choices. Mild M. For FaxFiction and Nola96.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for Nola96 and FaxFiction. Nola96 because she repeatedly said she wanted M material from me, and since I don't have any straight-up juicy lemons to publish yet this is what she gets to read while she waits. Every steaming scene in this story is for her. FaxFiction because she finally sparked an idea in my brain for a quasi-story (even if it is a quasi-story set in the Trilogy-world, which I was trying to stop adding to). This idea is the only one I was able to roll with, and I feel like it was something that should have made it into the Trilogy, anyways. I don't really remember why it didn't. I only have a few deleted "scenes" you guys didn't get from the Trilogy that I still haven't shown anyone, but this one in particular never got much love. **

**For **_**Risks**_**, I have the 24 hours after the explosion. Including Max dealing with cops, scientists, registering Maya's death, and getting herself and the flock focused on the future. **

**For **_**Choices**_**, I have this fledgling of an idea, which has now expanded into a full-blown "novella," if you will, thanks to FaxFiction's encouragement. Other than that, I have the first time Aaron met Angel and a sibling one-shot between Emma and Fang. **

**There's a whole **_**ton of ideas **_**jotted down concerning the deleted scenes from **_**Consequences **_**(since I really had to pick and choose which memories to put in that one), ranging from their stillborn daughter's birth to the Gemma wedding. Sadly, nothing about the new baby made the cut (SORRY). **

**Anyways, who knows if those things will ever make publication? I'll probably keep them around, play with them when I don't have enough functioning brain matter to develop new story lines. That's exactly what I did with this one, and now I'm updating something! Woo!**

**Basically, this is right after **_**Choices**_**. It'll only be a couple chapters (hopefully). It shows more of Fang's healing process. I know I kind of left a lot of that out. **

**[Summary: "He **_**was **_**safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me… And I knew that, too, without even having to ask." Book 2.5 of the **_**Risks **_**Trilogy. After **_**Choices**_**. M.]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. All rights go to James Patterson, the genius himself. **

**NOTE: Must read AT LEAST **_**Risks **_**and **_**Choices **_**first. **_**Consequences **_**is optional. **

**NOTE: SPOILERS for the **_**Risks **_**Trilogy. **

**HEY GUYS, ONE MORE THING: PLEASE tell me if you want to see anything specific. **

MAX

"Fang?"

It's groggy, and it's the best I can manage in the morning. I sound like sleep itself. I probably look like it, too. I shift, feel the sheets on my skin, and pause to wonder when exactly during the night I ditched my shorts.

And then I can remember, just barely. Fang leaving our dream, so suddenly I didn't even notice until I realized he wasn't answering me. Fang, being _stolen _from my dream. Then I'd woken up, too, only to feel him rigid beneath me, his teeth gritted as he suffered something in his sleep. With one touch to his shoulder, he shot awake, gasping, making choking noises, and I whispered, "It's okay, Fang-" only once before he rolled over onto me and, still showing the pain on his face, kissed me.

He wasn't himself, not then. But he still pushed down my shorts and took me, kissing me with desperation. I was on the brink of consciousness and he was on the brink of insanity, desperate for some kind of anchor to the real world. _She's gone, you're safe, it's okay_… All things I mumbled while he took it out on me. It didn't hurt, not unbearably, but we hadn't done anything since that first time and it had been weeks and he'd kind of taken me by surprise (no pun intended, but seriously). I can't say it felt very _orgasmic_. …At first.

About around the time it started feeling pleasant, I realized what had happened and started crying. She'd taken him. The memories of her, of that place, had taken him from our dream. Our one escape from the real world, and even there he wasn't safe.

He'd realized this, too, and was terrified. I could feel it.

I hated her then, Fang's mother. Hated her more than I've ever hated anything.

"Fang," I gasped, reaching for him. "Fang, harder."

Not because I wanted it that way, because I honestly had _no idea _if I wanted it that way. But I knew he needed it that way, and so I begged him for it, cooed it in his ear until he gave in and gripped my wrists and _hurt _me, but in a really, really good way.

By then I was finally awake, finally aware of all my senses, and I realized consciously this time that he was afraid of it. Afraid of his own mind, how he couldn't control his fear anymore. How everything reminded him of the last two years, and nothing about this world was safe.

I couldn't hold him with my hands, couldn't move my arms at all, so my legs twisted around him, kicking off the blankets as they did. "I love you," I rasped, now feeling _really _good, holding him as hard as I could with my thighs. "You're _mine_, Fang. Nothing can take you from me. You're safe now."

He _was _safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me.

And I knew that, too, without even having to ask.

I blink again against the light of the sun shining through the window and sit up, automatically feeling the event's of last night take their toll on my muscles. It hadn't even been two in the morning, and I can bet at least one other person had still been awake, fighting sleep (or fighting _for _sleep, judging on the individual). Whoever it was, I hope they had ignored the rhythmic sounds emanating from our room and just pretended it was the wind or something.

After further inspection of our room, I realize that Fang is in the doorway, watching me. He's just gotten out of the shower, and his hair is still pretty wet. I shift, sit up, and wince. _Ouch. _

He notices and his eyes flash.

"Well, you sure showed me," I say, aiming for our normal, adorable banter.

He doesn't say anything and my heart constricts.

"Fang?"

"I'm going out," he says softly.

I get out of bed then, just wearing my shirt. Fang's eyes squint at me, pain in his eyes. "Put on some shorts, Max."

Okay, that hurts. I open my mouth to answer, then reach down and grab my shorts, yanking them on.

"I need to shower anyways. Have fun."

I don't want to do this. I don't want to struggle with him, or battle with him. I don't want to respond to his coldness with more coldness, because it will not fix anything.

But treating me that way after what we just did hurts and he doesn't get a free pass to be an asshole just because…

Okay, maybe he should have a free pass. But at the moment, I can't ignore my feelings. So strip and turn on the shower, allowing the water to heat up. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

The bruises are a surprise.

I guess it had been my insides that had registered first. The soreness _inside_. Earlier, I hadn't realized that my thighs were tinted purple with bruises, as were my wrists, where Fang had pinned me.

Anyways. It only takes a second.

I won't call him bipolar, because it isn't really like that. I mean, yeah, it'll take me by surprise, sometimes, but usually I can see it happening. I can see his eyes darken, his shoulders tense, his mind shut me out. A word in a conversation, a certain kind of touch, and too-long lapse of silence, and _bam! _He'll be back, back in that hell of a place, chained and hurt and alone. It only takes a second.

Sometimes, I feel like I can't help him and I hate myself for it. Sometimes, I feel like I can help him…and then it ends up not helping at all.

Really, it's up to him. Whether he has a good day or a bad day is up to him and his subconscious. I don't know what else to do except wait for him to work it out himself.

I step out of the shower and get dressed sluggishly. After that, I head into the kitchen, grab my cell phone from the counter, and call Aaron.

"He there?" I ask, pouring myself coffee.

"What?" Aaron answers, still sleeping. I can tell from his voice. "Fang? No."

"Guessing you didn't invite him over?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"No. Why?"

"Nothing," I sigh. "Nevermind."

I remember those first hours after finding Fang with Evelyn. Remember Nudge calling 911, remember dealing with the police. Watching them cart away Evelyn and Dylan. Then watching paramedics take Fang.

After I dealt with the police, I met the others at the hospital where they'd taken Fang for tests. The doctors said there wasn't much physical damage, besides some cracked ribs, dehydration, and a hundred bruises and cuts.

"_Most of the effects you'll probably notice will be mental," the doctor said seriously, his solemn eyes brave enough to meet mine. "You never really know what to expect from any kidnap victim, but this is a special case, with so many unique factors…just be normal as possible. If you notice big changes, he could have something bigger going on. Then I'd tell you to take him to a doctor. But if it stays like this for a while? Closed-off, nervous, untrusting… just give him time and treat him like normal."_

Give him time. How much time, though? Not to rush him, and not to sound unsympathetic, but…I hate how much he's changed. Hate it enough to want to take all his pain into me instead.

My phone buzzes on the counter and I open the message. It's Aaron.

_He's here. Scared the shit out of me. I need to start locking my damn windows. _

I sigh, and set my phone down again. At least he is with someone who could probably distract him.

"Rough night?" Nudge asks, walking by me and examining my face. I snort. Oh, the painful irony of that question.

"Fine," I say dismissively. "What are you doing today?"

"I was going to go to the movies with some friends…what did you do to your arm?" Without waiting for my answer, "Does it hurt?" She grabs it and touches the bruise experimentally and I yank my arm away, readjusting my sleeve past my wrist.

"It's fine. How am I supposed to keep track of all my injuries?" I say teasingly. Nudge's worry relaxes into a grin.

"Klutz. I'm going to go take a shower."

"Okay," I say, taking another drink of coffee. I turn my head toward Iggy, who is sitting at the counter, and say, "Ig? You talk to Fang lately?"

"Have _I _talked to _him_? Or has _he _talked to _me_?"

I let out a desolate sigh, sinking into a stool by him. "What are we going to do?"

"It's only been two weeks," Iggy says softly. "Compared to eight months in an isolation chamber, which you know all about, and then a year and a half of heartless torture. Give him a break."

I open my mouth to insist that I'm not _against _him, I'm trying to help him. But then I think about what Iggy said. An isolation chamber…I saw the one Fang had been in. The officers showed me pictures. It's such an inhumane thing; to think that Fang was there, being drained of all his senses and wishing he were dead _for months_…

And, of course, what did he wake up to? When the light finally seared his retinas and every small gust of wind felt like a freight train on his sensitive skin, what did he get? A violent, ruthless, hate-filled mother.

She tore him apart. He won't tell me, but I know. She began hurting him that instant, not only with violence and chemicals, but with words.

_They think you're dead, _she probably taunted. _You've deserted them for eight months. What a man _you _are. _

"I hate her."

Iggy's voice comes softer, deeper. "I think we all do."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much!**

There's a first time for everything, I know. It's just a part of growing up. I realized that as I am trying to think of any last minute things I might need to add to my shopping list before checking out…and then I see the small colorful boxes promising _extended enjoyment_ and _intensified pleasure_.

One time without an precautions was one time too many, but doing it twice was just stupid. We'd needed other things, too, so sneaking a box of condoms into one of the grocery bags was not the most challenging thing I've ever done.

Shelling out fifteen dollars for a tiny box of ten rubbers? That was pretty damn challenging.

I should've been more prepared for it, maybe, but I hadn't really expected us to sleep together when we got him back. At least, not right away. And I definitely hadn't seen last night coming _at all_. I figured our romantic relationship would be put on hold while we worked on Fang's issues.

I'd obviously been wrong.

I lug the five bags I have into the house, dropping them on the counter.

"Groceries!" I shout, pocketing my own purchase in my jeans pocket, and hear groans as lazy flock members begin to move and come help. I turn to escape up to my room and run right into Aaron.

"Oh, hi," I say, automatically glancing behind him to see if Fang is in sight. He isn't.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asks softly.

"Yes," I said, already expecting Fang to have said _something _to Aaron.

Aaron watched my face, nodding. "Okay. You're a big girl, you can handle yourself."

I sighed. "What exactly did he say?"

"That he hurt you," Aaron explains softly, glancing at my arms crossed over my chest. "Left marks. He said that it was getting too out of control and he took it out on you."

"I'm fine," I say, irritation bubbling inside me. "Is he here?"

Aaron nods. "Upstairs."

Despite Aaron's word, I don't see him. I make it all the way into our room and am throwing the expensive box of contraceptive into our bedside table when he says, "What's that?"

"Jesus! You are ten times better at sneaking up on me now than before," I say, jumping and turning to look at him. "They're condoms. Just…so we're ready next time."

I don't blush, which I'm pretty proud of. The fact that I can say _condoms _while looking into Fang's eyes is kind of a huge milestone in my step towards adulthood - I think.

"There won't be a next time," Fang says gruffly, and my pride sinks into terror.

"Why are you so upset? Is it the bruises?" I ask softly.

Fang snorts meanly. "You have to ask?"

I feel really cold all of the sudden. "I don't see why it's so upsetting, you've bruised me before-"

"Don't!"

I stop, mostly because I'm shocked that he raised his voice at me.

"_Don't _try and compare this to _sparring_. Then I might really lose it."

"Seems to me you already have," I say edgily. "If you think a few bruises bother me, you've got another thing coming-"

"It isn't about the bruises! Can you not see how _bad _I am for you right now?" Fang asks in a whisper.

"Don't you dare," I say, outraged. "Don't turn this into a 'it's not you, it's me' situation. You aren't allowed to get rid of me because you're afraid to hurt me. You've hurt me before, Fang! You've broken my _bones_-"

"_Never _when I was supposed to be _loving _you!" he spits.

We're silent.

"Never have we mixed violence with love, _ever_. I crossed that line. I hurt you."

"It didn't hurt!"

"Look!" Fang says, harsh and mean, throwing back our covers. There's blood on the sheets, and I clamp my mouth shut, unsure what to say.

"Look at that and tell me I didn't hurt you," Fang says, his eyes dark. "Go ahead."

"It was only my second time," I say gently. "It's not an exact science-"

"Exact science? _God_! There are a few things that are just common courtesy. One is waking up your girlfriend before _raping _her…" his voice breaks off and he drops the covers to the ground with disdain. "I'll never take it out on you again, you can be sure of that. If I have to _never touch you again_, I will."

My chest tightens. "You…you…please, don't."

Fang's eyes soften, reading my mind. _Don't let this break us_. "I'm not. I don't want that. I know I'm bad for you, but…I can't let even that take you away from me."

My heart swells with relief, my eyes prick with senseless tears, and I surge forward into his arms. "I love you," I whisper.

Fang sighs and engulfs me in his arms. He doesn't pick me up or carry me to the bed or anything, because honestly I don't think he's regained the strength yet. But he murmurs to me, "I love you, too. But something's wrong with me, Max. You got me out, physically, but…part of my mind is still in there."

I clenched my eyes closed.

"Don't cry," Fang whispers. "I'm sorry…"

I can see in his mind that he thinks I'm upset with him. That he thinks I'm furious and exasperated with him. I shake my head into his chest.

"Not you. I just…she…"

"I'm trying," Fang says. He doesn't want to talk about her, I know he doesn't. Just admitting out loud to me that he's having trouble must have been hard. He wants to reassure me, now, which I think is so ridiculously backwards. How is it he's always the one hurt, but he always tries to make _me _feel better? "I'm trying, Max."

I don't say anything. I don't think I can. But the desperation hits me hard and we're shaking in each others arms, holding each other tight so neither of us disappear into nothingness. He holds me and we both whisper reassurances to each other and I am _so scared for us_.

I have to hold on to hope in that moment. I have to trust my mom and Iggy and the doctor, everyone who is telling me that he will get better with time. I have to just stand by him and struggle through it with him until we find a way to make it better.

"Did I hurt you?" Fang whispers.

"It was just…uncomfortable. Sore. I mean, the first time was…different."

Fang lets out a noise. "_Different_. Yeah. I'll redeem myself one day."

I smile lightly into his chest. "It wasn't bad, just gentler. And I was sore after that time, too. Neither was bad. I was scared last night, but not of you. Just…of what was happening to you. I was scared I wouldn't be able to help." 

I feel Fang's head nod above me, and know that I've consoled him a bit. I bet last night he felt my fear and it scared him even more - the thought of me, fearing _him_.

"I don't want to lose you," Fang says softly, barely audible at all, and it breaks my heart that he thinks that's even an option.

"Never," I promise.

And I mean it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Two in one day? Okay, sure. **

**I am really happy that I've gotten any traffic on this story at all. Honestly, I expected only Nola96 and FaxFiction to R&R, so I'm not too butthurt about it. I mean, if you're reading and don't hate it, don't be afraid to tell me. **

**I do want to mention something here, for my iffy readers: Honestly, this story would be T if I thought I could pull it off that way. I tried a T version, really. But it didn't sound like Max at all. If Max were an adult that tried to turn every sexual experience into a poetic nightmare, it would've worked fine. But guys - she's a teenager. A blunt, word-vomity teenager that just tells it like it is. It's kind of impossible to write a raunchy Fax scene and keep Max in character but not mention smutty things. After I stopped restricting myself with word choice, it became a lot easier. **

**This time in the trilogy for Max and Fang was awkward and uncomfortable and rough. All of it. The fights, the make ups, and the sex. So, yeah, it's going to be awkward. It'll make you cringe and smile and "aww," I hope (If I did my job right).**

**That being said, I can't get myself to write Max as some wanton woman of lust.**

**ANYWAYS I promise to warn about raunchy Fax fun from now on! Everything else, sans warning, should be pretty much as perverted as the rest of my shit on here.**

**You're all lovely and I love hearing from you. Since this is all I've found inspiration for in the past month, I'd love to hear some feedback. Please review, guys. That'd be really helpful, especially if you have some ideas, questions, or critiques. I'm only revisiting Fang's healing process ****once****, so if something is missing or unanswered, tell me!**

**FaxFiction: Well shit, I'm glad I haven't fucked it up yet. Thank you so much, not just for the inspiration but for the reviews. And I'm sorry I'm so much of a screw up that I have abandoned my reviewing spree. I'll get to it, I promise!**

**Nola96: I'm sorry. It's really damn sad, but there was such a huge gap between rescuing Fang and the epilogue of Choices that I know some people were thrown. I guess when I wrote it I just figured that you guys would realize that a year passed and he was okay. Hopefully this helps, and I'm glad you love it so far. I have some fun things in store for them all.**

**Guest: Well I'm glad I have you hooked! Thank you so, so much from reviewing. **

**Pancakes-for-you: Seeing reviews from you literally just makes my heart swell. You tell me like it is, and you bring up things I don't know anyone else noticed. Glad we have some kind of twin telepathy going on. Thank you so much for reading AND reviewing!**

**Guest: I'm glad I could make you feel something. (:**

**akwardllama: Dark and wonderful is kind of what I was aiming for. Thanks for reviewing!**

**flytothemax97: I will! (: Thank you. **

**Holy shit, I'm sorry this A/N is so long. Thanks a million. **

MAX

"Dinner?" I ask, moving into the kitchen with Fang right behind me.

"What do you want?" Nudge asks back. I shrug. Nudge looks in the pantry, thinking.

"I think Ig had some steaks in the fridge downstairs. I'll go check."

Angel bounds through the kitchen between Fang and I, right out the front door without a word. Then, Gazzy comes, pulling Emma by the wrist.

"Fang, Emma doesn't know how to play soccer!"

I glance at him. Moment of truth. The only way to truly tell what mood Fang is in these days is to see him in action.

After a split second, his lips twitch. "Well, that's a problem."

Gazzy grins and runs outside after his sister, while Emma starts pulling up her hair. "I don't really see the big deal-"

Iggy goes over to the hall closet and finds the beat up soccer ball. "That's because you don't know what your missing."

Emma grins at me, then follows Fang outside.

After changing into a pair of shorts, I'm ready to play, too. Aaron had to go home, but everyone else is outside bouncing with energy; it's a nice warm day, and things are okay between Fang and me. I feel pretty great.

"Here, watch," Iggy says, taking the ball from Emma. He does some intricate, show-off-y footwork, the uses the toe of his shoe to fling the ball into the air towards Fang. Fang starts bouncing it on his knees. Emma huffs.

"Well, now you're just rubbing it in," she says. "Are you making fun of me?"

Gazzy frowns. "What? We're not making fun of you."

"Listen, I don't care if you don't know how to tie your own shoes," Fang says moving the ball to his hand to spin it on his fingers. Yeah, now he was showing off. "Ask us and we'll help you."

Emma smiles. "I know how to tie my own shoes."

"Okay, it's simple," Nudge says. "You try to kick the ball into Ig's goal. They'll try to kick it into ours. No hands. Stay in the lines, and don't kick with your toes."

Emma opens her mouth, but Fang drops the ball and steadies it. "Side of your foot," he says, showing her. "You can kick harder and aim better that way."

"Knees, chest, head," Holden, who was setting up the goals, rattles off. "Anything but hands, really."

Emma looks confused. "How are you supposed to use your head?"

Iggy grins, decidedly ready to show her rather than tell her. "Let's play."

Just as we're about to start, I see Mom's van winding down the gravel road toward our house. I straighten up. "You guys play without me, okay?"

"What?" Angel whines. "Max, come on. Now the teams are uneven."

I smile at her. "I know you have enough skills for the both of us, Ange." Mom parks in front of the house and I start walking backwards, calling out, "Kick ass, ladies!"

Nudge salutes me, already in the zone. Holden says something about motherly advice and I roll my eyes, running toward the house.

Mom's alone. She says Ella has a lot of school work she has to get done, and I respond with, "Don't we all. Missing a week to reinstate Fang really set us all back at school."

Mom comes inside with me and we move into the kitchen. I lean against the counter and watch her hang up her jacket in the hall.

"Well, it was important," Mom says. "You guys needed those days together."

"Yeah, we did," I say. Now that she's here, we can figure out something for lunch while the others mess around. I roll up my sleeves and start washing my hands in the sink.

She opens the fridge and takes inventory. "How's everything been?" By _everything _she means _Fang_, and I know that well enough not to hesitate.

"Fine," I say, not sure what to tell her first. She hasn't been over to visit since we got Fang back, so anything will be news for her. "I mean…It's hit or miss sometimes, but he keeps it together pretty well for the others. There hasn't been a major episode yet."

_Yet_. That's a scary thought.

She sighs, probably thinking the same thing. "He needs to see someone, Max."

I shake my head. "He won't. If he wouldn't see anyone about the School, even once he was _over _it, he definitely won't about this."

Mom watches me. "Does he talk to you about it?"

"Not yet he hasn't," I say. "Uh, Nudge said there were some steaks in the fridge downstairs. Ig already marinated 'em."

"We can work with that," she says. "Wanna go get them?"

I run down to get them. When I come back upstairs she's at the counter, cutting up many colorful vegetables. The room is starting to smell like fresh veggies and it's delicious. I glance outside, watch as Nudge steals the ball from Fang, and I say without thinking, "His reflexes are off."

Mom raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Look," I say. "See? He's a split second behind with each move. That's why Nudge got the ball."

Mom shrugs. "What do you expect? Two years of inaction, you're bound to be a bit rusty."

I don't say anything, but I take a green pepper from the stack of vegetables and grab a knife, getting to work. I take my time in order to make sure the slices are even. She doesn't say anything, either, but she's thinking loud enough. I can tell by the long pause that she's contemplating her next words.

"Max, have you thought about…putting the relationship on hold while he figures out how to deal with this?"

I honestly haven't. I mean, the moment we found him I knew we'd have to focus on fixing him first. And I hadn't expected us to sleep together, but…what, going on a break? I don't know how that could have helped things. I'm sure that won't work, now, anyways.

"Not really," I say. "I mean…our relationship is one thing he can still do without second guessing himself. Most the time."

She sighs, and takes about three minutes to speak again. Just as I'm lowering my knife to slice off another sliver of pepper, she says, "You two are being careful, right?"

Moms are like that, you know. They always _know_, like a sixth sense. It surprises me, to say the least. My knife slips and I slice into my thumb. As soon as the blood swells up through the cut, I'm cursing and pressing my other thumb over it.

"Shit, Mom," I say, laughing a little. I move toward the sink and turn on the water, watching the redness wash down the drain. "It freaks me out, how you can do that."

Mom smiles wryly, but says, "Yeah, well it freaks me out that you haven't answered yet."

I frown, pressing my stinging wound, trying to get it to stop bleeding. "Well…the first time was totally unplanned," I say in defense. She waits, knowing that I have more to confess. "And…so was the second."

"Max," Mom sighs. "You have to be prepared. Even if it's unplanned…you can't afford not to be ready."

"I know," I say, trying not to let her disappointment affect me too much. "We'll be careful from now on, I promise."

She looks on the edge about something, her eyes full of worry. "Well, honey, it only takes one time."

I feel like a fist of clay has formed in my throat. I can't even swallow. I dry off my finger and move across the room to find a band-aid in the junk drawer. "I know. I don't think - I'm not pregnant, Mom. I can't be."

"Should I buy you a test?" Mom asks.

"Um, I think we'd have to wait a little. It was…recent."

"Well, how recent? Some tests work quicker than others," Mom says reasonably.

I think I really am blushing now, and I thank the Lord she can't see my face. "No, like, really recent."

_As in, ten hours ago._

Mom's eyes widen slightly. "Oh. _Gotcha_."

This is a really awkward moment for me, and she knows. She doesn't say anything for a while, then she jokes quietly, "Then we could always buy you something else."

I roll my eyes. "What would that be?"

She keeps a straight face and dumps her veggies into the pan, causing them the sizzle loudly.

"Plan B," she says, and I swear to God she is laughing at me on the inside. "The morning-after pill."

"Oh," I mumble, telling myself to ditch the embarrassment already. "Well, yeah, that would make some sense."

"But really, honey," she says, putting a halt to her chopping. "Maybe the intimate stuff should sit on the back burner for a while? At least until he's a bit more stable."

"God-! He's not going to hurt me!" I insist, maybe a little too firmly.

Mom looks at me oddly. "I know that. It's just…how many times have you done this just to distract him from his problems?"

I shake my head. "Not the first time. No, that was different. But last night…"

Mom nods. "If you sleep with him just to distract him from his pain, sex is going to mean something different to him. It won't be about love, it will be about escape. It's like an alcoholic; he'll get away from his problems through unhealthy solutions rather than facing it head-on. You need to help him, first."

"You're right," I say, dumping my sliced peppers into the pan. "But, Mom?"

"Hm?"

"What if I can't help him?"

She looks at me, her eyes curious. "If you can't, who can?"

I sigh. That's exactly what I'm wondering. The answer in my head is, _No one, you moron, _and that worries me even more. Because then I really am Fang's last hope, and I don't even know how to be his hope at all, let alone his _last _one.

We put together our stew, talking about less dense subjects. I tell Mom Fang will be coming back to school second semester, and she asks me if I think he'll be ready.

"I hope so," I mumble. "That's two months from now."

She smiles lightly, and I know it's supposed to be reassuring but right now it's just bringing me down. I let myself gaze out the window, now. Ever since she brought up the pregnancy thing, I've felt nauseas.

"We can let this cook for a couple hours," Mom said, drying her hands on a towel. "I'm going back home; Ella wanted to join us all for dinner."

I push back my hair absently. "That, um…pill…wouldn't hurt anything if I _was _pregnant, right?" I ask, my voice wavering slightly. I mean, I don't want to be pregnant at seventeen, but I don't want to kill a baby, either. It's just…

I _cannot _be pregnant right now. That would just be the final blow for Fang. That's the last thing we need. I cannot be pregnant. _No_.

My mom, Lord bless her, really needs to work on masking the sympathy in her eyes. "No, hon. It won't hurt anything. Just…precautionary."

I nod, but don't say anything.

She pulls on her jacket. "I'll be back in about two hours. Keep an eye on that stew. And don't worry," she adds, her eyes on Fang out the window. "I'll stop by the drugstore before I pick up Ella. She won't know."

I hug her, hard, because suddenly I can't imagine getting through shit like this without her.

"It'll be okay, Max," she says really quietly.

I hope she's right. Even though I know that if I'm pregnant, everything will _not _be okay. It will be the opposite of okay. It will be, like, really not ideal to be pregnant - _at seventeen with a broken boyfriend_.

Even so, I hope she's right. Everything will be okay…

Eventually.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I will be so pissed if this story ends up being normal length. I just have so much to fit in…we'll see. **

**I love each and every person who's reviewed for this story! Please keep it coming, it just makes my day. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Well, I'm glad that you like my style. (: Things for Max and Fang are going to get a little worse before they get better, but they will get better. Thank you so much.**

**awesomealpha11: I want to tell **_**you **_**something. You're one of the best, most loyal reviewers I've ever had. Seeing responses from you makes my day! I'll try not to second guess my writing…but writing M stuff just kind of throws me off - not as confident. You're awesome, for real. Thank you for reading! **

**pancakes-for-you: Fics where they kiss once and all is forgiven annoy the freaking shit out of me. What else annoys the shit of me? When there are, like, teen pregnancy stories, and they tell the flock, and everyone gets excited. Like, I'm sorry, if my big sister came home and told me she was pregnant, I'd probably be really pissed at her for throwing our lives off kilter because she's freaking eighteen. Just saying. Anyways - hehe, just a little pet peeve ranting - thanks for the reviews! No worries, they will finally discuss his shit. They're also going to talk about some of Max's shit, back from the first year Fang was gone. Hence why I have no idea how long this story will actually be. Oops. I said it would be short, but who the hell really knows. Thank you, thank you, **_**thank you **_**for reviewing! **

**Nola96: Awkward, right? I always have some awkward stuff in there somewhere, haha. Thank you for reading, and I'm glad I could clear up some "huh?" moments from the trilogy. Hopefully I clear up some more soon.**

**SophieClarke15: Thank you. THANK YOU! You flatter me too much. (: I've noticed your reviews on my stories, and they are all totally, totally appreciated. I'm glad I can keep you entertained. And I'm unpredictable? Good! Hopefully you like this story just as much. **

**FaxFiction: Max will figure it out. Right now she seriously has no idea how to deal, as is really showed in this chapter. Soon, she figures it out. I love this story and I love that you made me sit down and really flesh it out because they kind of fall in love again and gain trust again, especially Fang, and it really is Consequences, only their positions are swapped. Yes, Val gave Max good advice, but Max doesn't necessarily follow it very well…you'll see. And YES! Reviews are coming. I promise. Thank you, lady! You just make my day with your thoughtful responses. **

**WithoutWings: I am seeing all these familiar people, reviewing on my stories, and it makes my heart swell. Thank you for taking another chance on another story of mine, and thanks for taking the time to review! It is sad, and it will stay sad…or at least frustrating…for a while. Only until Max and Fang figure it out. And as for adult content…well, this may seem unnecessary but I promise it isn't. I just have to show all the wrong ways Max tries to help Fang before she finds the right way. **

**WARNING: Hand job. That's all I'm going to say.**

**Thanks for reading, loves.**

MAX

Two weeks go by, with Fang teetering from good moods to bad moods. I've made no progress in helping him and I hate myself for it. Only one positive thing has come from this.

"I'm not pregnant."

Fang's lying on his side of the bed, on his stomach, his face facing away from me. I don't know why, but it bothers me. Even when he answers, he doesn't look at me.

"That's good," he says softly.

I'm getting ready for bed. It's cold in the house, so I pull on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I crawl into bed, but don't really get close to him. Fang's good at cuddling when he wants to be, but I can tell tonight he doesn't want to be. I tuck the blankets around myself, trying to seal in some heat, and then I lie still, staring at the ceiling.

I'm so frustrated. I'm not doing any of this right. Every time Fang shuts down, I have no idea how to deal. I take my frustration out on him tonight, the damaged, recovering mutant, which is probably not a very solid idea.

"What's wrong now?" I ask, not very kindly. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," he says, not taking the bait like I wish he would. It would be so much easier if he would fight me back. "Tired."

"Bullshit," I say. Which, how the hell would I know? Maybe he really is exhausted, and I'm just being a bitch. I roll over, shove his shoulder, make him turn toward me. He does, because anything is better than fighting me right now.

"What's wrong with us?" I whisper, wiggling my way into his arms. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Quit blaming yourself for everything," Fang says with acute irritation - loaded and aimed at moi. "You know I'm the one who's fucked up, not you - now quit making me feel even worse."

"I'm not trying to," I say. "I just have no idea what you want from me."

Fang drags a hand down his face. "Fuck - I don't want anything from you, Max. Just…go to sleep."

_Fine_, I think, not caring if he's listening to my thoughts or not, _I don't want anything from you, either, asshole._

Fang huffs. Ah, so he _is _listening.

He rolls over, again putting his monumental problems and issues aside in order to deal with me, the shitty best friend/fiancée who can't just suck it up and help him. He curls around me, pulls me backwards into him, and kisses behind my ear gently.

I roll over, closing my eyes, and his mouth finds mine quickly.

"Mmmm - hm! Oh, Fang, wait," I mumble against his lips, grabbing his hand. "I can't. Not tonight."

He sighs harshly and rolls onto his side. "Why not?"

I look at him in shock. "How else do you think I know I'm not pregnant?" I spit.

Now _he's _mad at _me_.

We are ridiculous.

"That's what this is all about? You just want to have sex?" I demand.

"No, I thought that's what _you _wanted!" Fang says, looking at me like I'm insane. "I wanted to _sleep_."

_Fucking psycho_, he thinks_. _

I shove his shoulder. "Goodnight, you jerk."

I roll away from him. He groans, shifting next to me. He's really in a bind, now, because he can't just turn off his body's needs. I want to just make him suffer and let him deal with it on his own, but I don't. I roll over, sit up on his thighs and look down at him.

He puts his hands on my waist, watching me.

"I'm still mad at you," I say. "Don't forget that."

Fang looks at me blankly. "Okay."

I raise up on my knees so I can remove his shorts, then sit down on his legs again.

This is _probably _exactly what my mom was talking about when she told me to put the sex on hold.

So, whatever. I wasn't kidding about not being able to really do anything with him, but I take him in my hand without really thinking about my approach because _I'm the recently-deflowered virgin, remember?_

Fang, catching on to my idea, scoots over and reaches into the drawer by the bed. Just as I'm wondering why we need a condom for this rendezvous, he comes back with a small bottle.

"Wow," I mumble. "So many secrets."

Fang raises one eyebrow, and says monotonously, "Before you, there was my hand."

He makes me feel so freaking stupid sometimes.

We're so mad at each other, _so fucking pissed_, because nothing is the same anymore and it's hard on us. It's not as easy between us as it used to be, so we're irate and horrible to each other, even right now. I'm a little rougher than I should be, I think, but it doesn't matter. He's not even watching, or really paying any attention. His eyes are closed and his responses are close to none.

Which makes me even madder. I mean, why isn't he going crazy, saying my name over and over and arching off the freaking mattress?

"What am I doing wrong?"

"_Why_…do you…keep asking me that?" Fang breathes.

"I don't know," I say nonchalantly, "I guess because you aren't incoherent with pleasure I feel like I'm doing this wrong."

"You aren't," Fang says. "There aren't really many ways you can fuck it up."

I narrow my eyes at him. "At least pretend that this isn't inconvenient for you."

"I'm not going to _fake it_," Fang says.

"Oh, is that something we're doing now? _Not _faking it in bed?"

Fang actually opens his eyes to glare at me. "You don't fake it."

I shrug. "Maybe you're right."

"You know, you're being -" he pauses, his eyelids falling shut for a second while I work my hand on him, "- kind of a bitch right now."

I grit my teeth. You know what I really want to do right now is rip his precious tool clean off, because I don't care what kind of baggage he came home with, he is _not _allowed to call me that. Especially while _I'm _jacking _him _off.

I want to cry. Or scream. Or something. My mom was right; I shouldn't even be touching him right now. And my game plan of beating his issues out of him is so not healthy or helpful, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to gently heal him. I don't know how to baby Fang and be his rock. It's always been the other way around.

So now I'm doing this, exactly what my mom told me not to, because it's easier to help him feel good like this than to watch him feel nothing at all. It's easier to fight with him than to lie next to him in silence.

So, instead of ripping his cock off or crying or something, I do something even stupider. I scoot down, bend over, and take him into my mouth without even thinking. And I know I say I don't think about things a lot, but seriously I did not consider the consequences of this _at all_.

Immediately, his entire façade drops. His hand that was casually lying on my clothed thigh now twists into my hair, hard, holding me in place. He groans, "_God_, Max, what the-" Then he jerks his hips up.

I, of course, pull back nervously because I don't want to _die _- I'm not trying to over exaggerate on his size, I can't even brush the back of my tongue with my toothbrush without gagging violently. Irritated, I move my hands to his hips and shove them down, keeping them there. I keep him in my mouth, though, totally stumped because I didn't think much farther than this.

Why didn't I even think about what I was supposed to do _after _I got to this point?

I swirl my tongue on him, hollow out my cheeks, and do a few other harmless things that make it look like I kind of have an idea of what I'm doing, and then it doesn't matter that I don't know how to give a blowjob because that is more than enough for Fang and he loses it.

In my mouth.

With no warning.

So, the very attractive sight Fang sees next is me trying and failing to keep up with him, choking and spluttering, scooting backwards far and fast enough so I fall off the damn bed, and then rolling over onto my side, trying to catch my breath.

I don't know, I just kind of feel like that isn't how it's supposed to go _at all_.

I'm not in a good mood after that, for sure. He's looking at me, his eyes laughing at me. Somehow, even when I make him lose control and _moan _my name, I'm still the one who's inexperienced in bed. I hate him for laughing at me.

"Shut up. Go to sleep now, asshole. See you tomorrow."

"Max-" he says softly, less rude now that he's gotten off all over my freaking sweatshirt.

I start changing, still glaring in his direction.

"I'm sorry," Fang says. "I wasn't laughing at you."

"Yes you were. You know, a little warning would've been nice."

"Me? _Me _warn _you_? Max…you're the devil." He rubs his hand over his forehead.

"Why, thanks," I drawl. "For some reason, that doesn't make things much better."

I lay down again, but make damn sure not to touch him this time.

He doesn't care. He rolls over and now, of _course_, he feels like interacting.

"You're tempting," he whispers, kissing my shoulder. "And evil, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," I breathe finally.

He kisses me once, really quickly, and looks at me.

"This isn't how we should be dealing with stuff," I say, grabbing his hand and pushing my fingers through his. "We need a new game plan. Next time this happens…we need to talk, instead. Okay?"

He watches me. I know that we really haven't talked about anything that's happened to him since it happened, so the thought of fessing up to me is probably a little scary.

"Okay," Fang murmurs. He kisses my cheek and pulls me close to him again, tentatively. I let him.

"Tomorrow, we'll talk about it," Fang says. "I promise."

**A/N: Review, please! I may be able to update this weekend…let's see some responses!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Oh, goodness. The feels in this chapter…get ready. **

**Renndude: Yeah, I can't really picture Max's first time giving head as anything but a complete debacle. Thank you!**

**pancakes-for-you: Um, I don't know. It was a cynical kind of funny, haha, and it's easy to make sad things cynically funny. (That's pretty much my life, haha!) They kind of "discuss" things in this chapter, but…not by talking. Thank you!**

**Stormchase: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hmm…you've got some things right! Hope you like my version (:**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, they're definitely playing with fire. They'll figure it out eventually. Thank you!**

**kateflowrchild13: They will talk it out! This is just the beginning! (:**

**akwardllama: You're welcome! Thank YOU for the regular reviews. **

**FaxFiction: Yeah, Max and Fang…they'll get it eventually. They're going to fail at talking it out a lot more than they succeed. I'm glad you're still liking it!**

**Nola96: And this is my depressed Fax M. Just wait until I come out with the non-depressed shit. ;) Thank you for reading! It makes me so happy that I get big reviews from you on each one. **

**Thank you guys. Read ahead. No sexy stuffs. **

MAX

The next day is Monday, which means we're all going to school, save Fang. Fang catches up on the past two years online, at home. Next semester, he'll be in school with us again. Usually he gets his shit done by about noon and is outside flying when we get home.

Not today.

Aaron drove Nudge, Angel, Gazzy and Emma home today right after school. I had stuff to do and Iggy and Holden both had to make up some tests with their classes. By the time I get home, it's already five o'clock.

I open the door, shove inside, and as soon as my backpack hits the floor, I hear Aaron shout, "Fang, man!" There's a quick scuffle, then Nudge gasps. "Get out! Go calm the hell down!"

I round the corner into the living room, fear in my throat, to see Nudge and Aaron alone. Nudge's eyes are wide. Aaron's got a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay? Can you breathe okay?" he asks softly.

"I'm fine," Nudge says harshly. She sees me and her eyes water. "I didn't mean to! I didn't think he was having a fit. I was just going to ask him to come see my play this weekend, and he…but, I'm okay!"

"What happened?" I ask, looking at Aaron. Nudge is glaring at him, like, _Don't get Fang in trouble. _Aaron frowns.

"He grabbed her neck. He was kind of zoning out while she talked to him, which was weird. But she sat down on the couch next to him and I guess he felt threatened because he attacked her."

"He didn't attack me!"

"Nudge-"

She puts up her hand. "For someone who's _actually _been attacked by Fang before, I think I know what I'm talking about!" She huffs and looks at me. "He grabbed my neck and squeezed, but only for a second. He knew who I was the second he did it. His eyes widened and he backed off like he'd just punched me."

"Except he didn't punch you," Aaron says quietly. "You're lucky he snapped out of it, Nudge."

I sigh. "I'm going to go find him."

Aaron follows me outside. "Max, he hasn't done that to you, has he?"

I turn to look at him, shaking my wings out in the front yard. He's watching me like he doesn't know how I'm going to react to that question. I feel like overreacting would be a big waste of his time and mine. He's just looking out for me, and though I hate that anyone has to even ask that of Fang's character, _he has to ask it_. Hell, he just saw it happen.

"No," I say. "He hasn't."

Aaron just nods. I know he's going to stay with the others until Fang and I are back, but I also know him well enough to know he wants to come with me to make sure I'm okay.

"Be careful."

"Okay," I say, trying to make this a bit more normal. "When Ig gets home, would you help him start dinner?"

Aaron knows what I'm doing and plays along. "Sure."

I run down the driveway a bit and take off. As soon as I'm in the air, I turn away from town, trying to narrow my searching. He wouldn't have gone toward civilization. He'd go toward the wilderness.

_Fang? Hiding form me is just going to piss me off_, I think pointedly. Then I remember that I decided yesterday to be gentler with him, not try to kick his problems out of him.

I close my eyes. _Fang, you need my help. Where are you? _

I don't get anything. I'm circling the clearings below, searching for him.

_Fang. Please._

I'm about to give up and search on foot when I hear, _West. By the lake. Cliff. _

By the lake. Meaning, the lake we discovered as we were surveying the forest near the house, years ago. There was a huge cliff there, canyon-like and ancient. I turned and flew in his directions. When I get there, or get close enough to see no one in sight, I'm stumped.

All he said was _Cliff_. If he wasn't on the cliff…

In the cliff. I sigh, swooping closer and closer to the rock wall until I can see which outcroppings are just outcroppings and which actually go deeper.

I find one, finally. It's really close to the ground. I tuck in my wings and land clumsily on the rock floor. He's there, alright, and he doesn't look so good.

He's sitting on the large rock, staring at me but also kind of staring through me. He's shaking slightly, too. I swallow.

"What? Show me," I say, moving toward him. I kneel in front of him, tentative because I don't want him to freak out and hurt me. I'm treating him like a cornered animal and I know that's exactly how he feels right now and I want to cry.

Fang's hands reach out and find the backs of my legs, then trail up over my back and my wings to hold my shoulders. I lean against him, letting out a slow breath.

He doesn't say anything. He won't show me specific memories, not since that first time, when he showed me how he got one of his scars. I obviously showed that I couldn't handle it, and after seeing me bawling from just one memory of his, he hasn't shown me a specific scenario since. But he pulls me close and then lets some of his emotions flow into me, escape into my mind, just so he can breathe again.

It hits me all at once, and it takes me off guard. I cling to him then, distraught with the emotions rolling through me, and can barely hold onto reality. _It isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't real…_

Thinking that is exhausting, but if I don't then Fang and I will both get lost. And I don't know how to fix that if it happens.

I push through the agony and press my forehead to his. _Focus on me_, I think hard, trying to push it past his thoughts. _I'm here, no one else. Me, Fang. Find me_.

He's forcing himself to take deep breaths. "I'm fine, I've got it," he grits out after a second. I sit back, but I don't leave - not like he wants me to.

"Max…"

"It won't help if you keep trying to bottle it up. It's me or a doctor, Fang."

"I don't need a doctor."

"No, you need me," I say quietly. "I need you to show me, Fang. I can take it. I swear."

_You're not ready to talk - fine_, I think to him soothingly, while slowly rubbing his back_. At least have some kind of communication. Show me some other way. Tell me through memories what you can't articulate._

Fang's still shaking while he swipes my hair away and kisses the place between my eyes. I let out a breath, readying myself.

He pushes the memory into my mind effortlessly, and I feel him let out a gasp. I grip him harder. To think that this act of sharing his memories actually gives him physical relief from his pain makes me so happy. I whisper, _It's okay, let me see. Let me see, _just like you do to a child with a cut or booboo.

With a harsh exhale, Fang says, "I have to explain first. I…don't know why, but I've been reliving this all day. I don't know what's happening to me right now, Max."

"It's okay," I say. "I'm here."

Fang nods against my shoulder. "For the first few months, I wasn't chained. That's when most of the physical tests took place. I…" he sighs. "You'll see. Ready?"

"Ready," I breathe. "I'm here, Fang."

He lets me see.

"_Look at you, so goddamn pathetic," she sneers. "Guess what? You get out of here one of two ways, honey. You don't get to escape, and you don't get saved."_

_I stare up at her, hating her with every fiber of my being. I can barely breathe through the pain, barely think, and I have no idea how I'm conscious. _

"_Either you help me," she says, inspecting the rusty knife in her hand idly. "Or you die."_

_She tosses the knife and it hits the concrete ground with a clatter. She kicks it to me. _

"_And I won't help you with the second one."_

_She leaves then, and fuck if I don't sincerely think about it. It'd have to be my wrists or my throat. I can't be sure that a stab would really do the trick, and I don't feel like getting close to death just to have her fucking ruin that, too. _

_I grip the handle. _

_I could do it, I think. I could probably go through with it. Maybe I will. Maybe neck will be faster…_

_I raise the knife, feeling like I'm already out of my body, just watching. I don't want to watch; and I don't want to do this, either, but who knows when I'll get the chance again and who knows what she has in store for me if I miss this chance to end it. _

_I can feel the rusty, bumpy blade on my throat now. I swallow, close my eyes…_

_And that's my mistake. _

_Her face is so vivid and clear in my mind that my hand freezes. Her brown eyes stare firmly into mine and she has her mouth in a thin line, that you-done-fucked-up line. _

"_What are you doing, Fang?" she asks. _

_And suddenly I really don't know. I drop the knife into my lap, shocked that I was so close to actually doing it. There's a smear of blood on the blade. I swipe my hand against my throat and a bit of blood comes off on my palm. _

_I throw the knife across the room. "Fuck you, Max," I mutter. "Fuck you."_

I'm almost thrown out of that memory. I stare at Fang in shock of what I just experienced. His cheeks are wet and he won't look at me and I try to get my thoughts straight.

"Fang, it's okay…" I whisper gently.

"She finally came back," Fang says quietly. "With a bucket and a mop. Thinking that I'd…that I'd done it."

"Oh, my God," I murmur, pushing closer to him. His arms are still around me, but holding me is a half-hearted effort. I hold him, though, and don't let go.

"I would've, too, Max. I would've. If…"

He doesn't need me to say anything. Anything I think he needs to hear, I'm repeating in my head to him. _It's okay, I love you, I'm here, you're safe…_

"I choked Nudge," he stutters out finally. He sniffles, but a guy sniffle. One of those, I'm-fine-and-I'm-not-crying sniffles. He blinks. "I didn't mean to. I was in the memory, and I was thinking, if only I'd have just killed her then, you know? Killed Evelyn, while she fucking taunted me. Two days after that, I was chained. I should have just…"

"Nudge is worried you ran away for good," I say, after a minute. "She isn't mad at you."

"She should be. I could've really hurt her."

We sit in silence. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. Make him talk about how that memory makes him feel? Turn those feelings around, make him realize that it's good he didn't kill himself? That he lost his chance to escape and had to endure a whole year of torture after that?

Fuck, I am so not trained for this shit.

"Only Aaron knows this," I whisper into his shoulder when I can't think of what else to do. If I can't help him by talking about his problems, I'll talk about mine. "I made him swear not to tell Iggy, and I don't think he wanted to tell, anyways."

Tears are already welled up in my eyes, from all the emotional turmoil we've already been through, so I start crying immediately. "I feel so stupid even saying it. It makes me sound like some dependent girl who doesn't mean anything without her boyfriend…but…Fang…I kind of am."

"No you aren't," Fang murmurs.

"I was so fucking lost without you, that first week after you disappeared, that I didn't even have it in me to be ashamed. I got everyone out of the house, sent them to Mom's…and I was going to OD in the bathroom," I whisper.

He doesn't say a word. He doesn't move. I hope he doesn't hate me, or think I'm weak and ridiculous.

"I just got whatever I could find. I had so many different kinds of medicine in my hands…and I was so scared that I was shaking and I dropped a few. Then I was crying so loud…I guess when Aaron got there he heard me. And he had to break down the bathroom door."

I close my eyes and just remember, pushing the memory at Fang and hoping it gets to him. He needs to see.

_Aaron hits my hand and they fly everywhere. _

"_What are you doing?" he cries, so fucking scared that he's furious. "What the fuck are you doing?"_

_I curl up on the floor, sobbing, holding my face. "I don't know! I don't know!"_

"_Yes, you do know!" Aaron shouts, shaking me. "How many did you take? How many?" _

"_I d-didn't," I say. _

"_I don't believe you!" Aaron says, and I think he's about to shove his fingers down my throat to make me throw up, just in case. "How many, Max?"_

"_I didn't take any," I mutter, all of my energy gone and replaced with embarrassment and humiliation. "I didn't, Aaron. I didn't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh, God."_

_Aaron stares at me for a second, trying to see if I'm telling the truth. _

"_You have people here who need you," he says softly. "I'm sorry. I know you're in pain, I know it sucks and it isn't fair. But you can't just…"_

_I lean my head back against the bathroom wall, tears still rolling down my cheeks. _

"_I don't think I can do it."_

"_What?" Aaron asks tentatively. _

"_Live without him," I moan, rolling my head against the hard tile. I close my eyes. "I don't really know if I can or not. But I sure as hell don't want to try."_

"He watched me like a hawk after that," I whisper into Fang's neck. "I freaked him out so bad. I didn't know what to do, though. I was so scared that you were out there somewhere, needing me, and I was letting you down… I couldn't live with myself."

I take in a deep breath. "We're here," I say, swallowing thickly. Crying this much…it so isn't like us. But I was not ready for the amount of raw emotion that those memories would bring up. I don't think he was, either.

"You and me, we're here, and we're alive," I say. I'm not sure what that is supposed to fix, but I say it anyways hoping it will fix _something_.

"I know," Fang whispers, stroking my back.

"I love you," I say, kissing the exact spot where Fang had nicked himself with that goddamn knife.

He kisses me, and then we sit there for a long time and don't say a word.

**A/N: R-E-V-I-E-W. Please. Thanks. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here is the deal. **

**I was writing like a maniac for this story because it's the only thing that flows right now, and I realized something. I had three huge gaps in the trilogy that I skipped, for plot's sake. The two years Fang was gone, the year between the end of **_**Choices **_**and the epilogue (this story, aka Fang's healing process), and the years between the **_**Choices **_**epilogue and **_**Consequences**_**. I don't regret leaving those gaps. I mean, it would've been a ridiculous amount of filler, and the stories would've lost focus.**

**However, since a lot of you have PMed that you wanted to see more of those gaps filled in, I've decided to try. And I'm proud of the feedback I've gotten for this story. I realize a lot of you want to know what Max and flock went through, too, and that's where this whole A/N becomes important and not just incessant rambling. **

**My earlier version of **_**Choices **_**included a lot of flashbacks for Max. Her moments of unconsciousness (when she wasn't in her out-of-body-experience) had originally gone back and forth between dreams with Fang and flashbacks to the years without him. I took the flashbacks out because they were confusing, but…surprise, surprise, they're still on my hard drive. **

**I just want to make it clear that all the things I bring up in this story were thoughtfully connected the trilogy way back when. It was my creative decision to cut some scenes out, but I feel like there isn't any harm in publishing them now. Some things you read may seem weird, like "Whoa, she never mentioned that in the trilogy before." But it should make sense, if you think about it. I mean, it should really make sense, since I wrote a lot of the flashbacks with Fang MIA during **_**Choices**_**.**

**If you get confused, ask me. I will certainly clear things up. The reason this comes up is because there is a flashback in this chapter. One that I wrote for **_**Choices**_**, but cut. **

**Sorry if this was confusing af. Continue and please review. **

MAX

Fang and I get home just as it's getting dark, around seven. Nudge is sitting on the porch railing, her legs dangling. Holden is sitting on the porch steps, a few feet away from her, reading a book in the dim evening light - the porch light had long since gone out.

"Reading in the dark is bad for your eyes," I say, walking past Holden onto the wooden porch.

"You aren't the only one with excellent vision," Holden says. "Besides, there's plenty of light."

I roll my eyes. Fang walks through the lawn and stops at the railing where Nudge is perched. She smiles at him when she sees him. I watch quietly as he hops up next to her and then I tap Holden's leg with my boot, nodding for him to follow me inside.

"She was freaking out," Holden says. "Figured 'least I could do was keep her company while she rattled off about how she 'just about ruins everything.'"

I smile at him. In the kitchen, Aaron and Iggy are sitting at the counter, eating through a bag of chips.

I raise my eyebrows. "What happened to dinner?"

Aaron raises his eyebrows right back. "It came and went, sister. You two've been gone for two hours."

I sigh. "That sucks. I'm starving. He probably is, too."

"Where is he?" Iggy asks.

"With Nudge, talking it out. Are there at least some leftovers?"

"Nah, but no worries," Aaron says, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Once Fang's ready we're going back to my house. We can eat something there."

"And…why are we going over there when you're already here?" I ask, digging in the fridge for something I can eat _right now_.

Aaron pauses and lets the loud, chaotic laughter from the living room be his voice. He just looks at me. "Holden said he'd hold down the fort."

"Okay, I'm in," I say. "He will be, too, once he knows food is involved."

I know Aaron is totally bummed that his best friend is battling a bad case of PTSD right now. I also know that the four of us haven't spent any time together, just us, since Fang has been home, and it's been almost a month.

The front door opens and Nudge comes in, then, wiping her wet cheeks with one hand.

"Nudge?" Iggy moves a little closer immediately.

"I'm good," she says, smiling through her tears. She keeps the door open and Fang follows her in; she's holding onto his wrist with her free hand. He eases the door shut then looks at me briefly before gently touching her knuckles. She uncurls her fist and sighs, pushing her poufy hair back with both hands. He squeezes her shoulders and murmurs one more thing to her that none of us hear. She nods, smiling, and he goes upstairs.

"Uh, we're going to Aaron's!" I call after him as he hustles up the steps. _We'll eat there. Come down when you're ready. _

He doesn't answer, but I don't expect much more. Nudge comes over to me and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a warm hug. She sniffles and sighs.

"I haven't really seen him that normal since…we rescued him. I mean, the few days after we got him back he was happy, but you know what I mean. I guess part of the reason he was so happy at first was because of you," she rambles thickly, "and then it kind of wore off as he realized he wasn't fully healed. He kind of retreated into himself after that. But…that's…the first time I got to talk to him and he was really _there_."

"I know," I say. I kiss her forehead. "He's there."

Nudge laughs lightly and backs up, blinking. "Yeah, he is. And you guys are coming to my play on Friday. He promised."

I smile at her. "Okay. We're going to Aaron's for a while. You guys be good. Call if you need anything?"

Nudge looks so freshly happy that it makes my heart ache. _We're getting there_, I reassure myself. _Slow and steady. _

"Yeah, I promised Gaz I'd help him with a project anyway. Have fun."

• • •

About fifteen minutes later, we're lounging on the curved sectional couch in Aaron's basement, eating pizza and watching TV. His parents and his sister are home, upstairs, but the basement is Aaron's very own "Man Cave," as the guys like to call it, which is stupid because I am down there all the time.

The four of us manage to work through four boxes of pizza. Well, Iggy, Fang and I each tackle one alone. Aaron lets his family members steal some of his before bringing down three pieces that he polishes off at a much slower pace.

He tries.

"What's up with the stain on the carpet?" Fang asks, looking at the dull grey splotch in the middle of the floor. I internally groan while Aaron shifts and takes a drink of soda.

"Want the story my mom got? Or the truth?"

Fang rolls his eyes.

"I told my mom that I spilled a soda while trying to kill a spider," Aaron says, smirking. "She was so scared about the damn spider she didn't care about the stain. She just asked if I got it."

I laugh, leaning against Fang's side and burrowing my feet under Ig's knee. Iggy reaches behind himself, grabs the scratchy red quilt on the back of the couch, and puts it on my feet. I tap him again with my toes to let him know I appreciate it.

"And what really happened?" Fang inquires, sounding like he almost doesn't want to know.

Iggy crosses his arms, grinning. "Yeah, what really happened? Max? Aaron? Who wants to take this one?"

I open one eye to peek at Aaron, who looks reluctant. I sigh.

"Um…"

"Long story short," Iggy says, "Aaron left his brain God-knows-where and got Max drunk."

Aaron and I both protest at the same time.

"None of it would've happened if it weren't for you!" I say indignantly to Iggy.

"Not true," Iggy says, but he's grinning. It's such old news by now none of us are really angry.

I shift, huff, and fall back, my head in Fang's lap. He starts running his fingers through my hair.

"Now I have to hear this story," he says.

I sigh. "Fine. I'll tell it. But only because they'll totally mess it up anyway."

I close my eyes, let Fang's finger tips grazing my scalp relax me, and begin, trying to open my mind enough to let him see, if he wants to. I say it out loud as I do, though, because we aren't the only two here, anymore.

"It was, like, two months after you disappeared," I begin softly.

_I'm supposed to be getting ready for a meeting my mom has set up with the CSM. It's a fancy, black-tie dinner banquet. There, we're going to enlist the help of the team to find him. If he's out there. Yeah, I'm supposed to be getting ready for Mom to pick us up in an hour. _

_But I'm actually standing in Aaron's backyard, my wings burning from the exercise and my hair whipping around me with the wind. I let myself in through the backdoor without knocking. Judging by the absence of vehicles in the driveway, his parents aren't home. I don't really care if his sister is home or not. I can hear music from the basement, though, so I head there. _

_He looks up as I sit next to him on the grungy couch. _

"_You…are supposed to be at a party," he says quietly. _

"_Not a party," I mumble. "And anyways, I'm not going."_

"_What now?"_

_I lean back against the couch. "They're all waiting for me to move on," I say, my throat closing up. "How can I move on when I don't even know what happened?"_

_Aaron groans, rubbing his hand on his face. "Max…I don't know what to tell you."_

"_I know."_

_He gets up, walks across the basement towards the old built-in bar. Behind it there's a mini fridge where he keeps sodas and stuff. He comes back with a Coke and I look at him._

"_Do you have anything else back there?" I ask softly. _

"_Like what?" He says, confused. _

"_Like, not a soda."_

_His eyes widen slightly, but he nods. "Uh…hang on."_

"So, obviously, Aaron enabled me instead of leaving me on my own in despair," I say, peeking through one eye at Fang, who is still listening intently and watching my face.

"I know," Aaron says from the other end of the couch. "I'm the worst. Continue."

"And I'm already, like, two hours late to the damn banquet and no one knows where I am. So, Iggy has to come find me."

"_Max?" I hear the door upstairs slam and then footsteps on the stairs. _

"_Oh, no," I mumble, shoving my glass at Aaron. "He's gonna yell at us."_

_Aaron looks very aware of this, but calmly sets the glass on the coffee table. _

_Iggy rounds into the room and trust me, even though that boy can't see, his death glares are still very effective._

"_Max? What the hell? You were supposed to be ready to go two hours ago-"_

"_Well, maybe I'm just trying to get over it," I say meanly. "Ever thought of that?" _

_Iggy stops. His eyebrows draw together. "What?"_

"_Get over it," I grit out. "Like you told Nudge. You told…you said to her that I would just get over it after the shock wears off."_

_Iggy looks shocked. "I did not! I said-"_

"_I _know_," I drawl. "You said you thought I would 'move on' at my 'own pace.' Fuck you, Iggy. That's what I think."_

_Iggy's furious again. "First of all, I told Nudge that because she asked me if you were fucking around with Aaron! Not because I'm waiting for you to get over Fang! I was trying to stand up for you!"_

_I am totally blindsided by that. "What?"_

"_Yeah," he says, his eyes narrowed. "Nudge asked me if you and Aaron were dating or something, and I said no. Even though I have no idea, because you never talk to me anymore. And even though I have no idea, because you never come home so how the hell should I know? Still, I told Nudge that you two were just grieving, and you hadn't moved on yet but might at your own pace because Nudge was afraid you already _had_."_

_That kind of sobers me for a second. "Iggy, we aren't-"_

"_Not like that matters much, now," Iggy says bitterly, resignedly, sitting next to me. "This is what you'd rather do than gather more people to look for Fang? Sit here in Aaron's basement and ignore all our calls?"_

_I sigh. "I didn't-"_

_Iggy looks at me, sniffing lightly in my direction. "Oh, my God - are you _drunk_?"_

_I can't even answer before Iggy is on his feet, glaring at Aaron. "You got her drunk? Are you stupid?" _

_Aaron threw his hands up in defense. "She asked for a drink! I only let her have a couple!" _

"_A couple? In human terms or human-avian terms?"_

_Aaron thinks for a second. "Okay, maybe too many. She's had, like…a third of this bottle." He shoves the bottle into Iggy's hands, looking completely disappointed in himself. _

"_You know she weighs, like, eighty pounds? Like a freaking twelve-year-old?"_

"_Ninety-eight," I slur quietly. "I weigh ninety-"_

"_Shut up!" Iggy says, really mad now. "Max, get up. You need to go throw up. Before you get alcohol poisoning or something."_

_Iggy yanks me to my feet. "Now, Max."_

"_Iggy, I don't-"_

"And then you barfed on Aaron's carpet?" Fang asks lightly.

I cover my face with my hands. "It isn't funny. Iggy had to lie to my mom so she didn't find out. Then, I was covered in _yuck_, so Iggy had to get me in the shower, and Aaron had to lie to _his _mom about the carpet…"

"He was so mad he didn't talk to either of us for days," Aaron says. "I mean, understandable, but…it was not funny at the time."

Aaron shrugs. "I don't know, it's kind of funny now. I mean, Max got drunk before any of us did," he says. "That liquor was my dads, I didn't even know what kind of alcohol it was Freshman year."

"Plus, Nudge actually thought Aaron and I were together," I add with a snort.

"And, technically, I got Max naked _way _before Fang did," Iggy says nonchalantly. I gasp, kicking him.

"_We don't speak of it_," I hiss, still kicking him for emphasis. "Ever!"

And then they're all laughing, and Fang's smiling, and I don't even care that it's at my expense.

I close my eyes and just enjoy it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Review? **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi. Thanks. Sorry.**

**WithoutWings: Woooo a review! I felt we needed a bit of humor after all the deep stuff. Thanks so much!**

**wickedride: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I was hoping people wouldn't think it was boring, or filler..**

**FaxFiction: Hello! Thank you! I am struggling to find time to even sit down at my computer. So, updates are sketchy. But I do have big plans for this story, and it might -unfortunately- be longer than I had hoped. We'll see. Thanks for the praise and input - glad you liked it!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Glad you liked it! That was my favorite part, too. I love Iggy.**

**Nola96: Aaron is my pride and joy, really. Thank you!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Yeah, Max and Aaron could never date. Ha.**

**Hagbre5498: I'm glad I entertain you and not confuse or bore you. Thank you!**

**KLoves2Read: It is a big darker, but I hope the reason is warranted. Thanks for giving it a shot and thanks a million times more for reviewing! It totally brightened my day to see a familiar name, commenting!**

**meeee: Well, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad I could make you enjoy some Fax for a while. (:**

**Greenwood101: I am! Finally! Yay! Thanks for the encouragement!**

MAX

I'm drifting in and out of sleep, barely paying attention, when I hear the conversation shift.

I still have my head in Fang's lap and his fingers are still running through my hair. "It doesn't happen all the time."

"Why? Does Max suck in bed?"

"Not funny," Fang says, standing up for me. "That's Max you're talking about."

They ignore him. "Probably not nearly enough," Iggy says, snickering.

I kick him, turning over and groaning. "Quit talking about me."

"Oh, look who decided to rejoin the party," Aaron says. "We were just talking about-"

"I know," I say drowsily. "And don't. Ever. At least not while I'm around to hear it."

"Why?" Iggy asks.

"Because. The last thing I want to hear about is your escapades with my sister, Aaron's escapades with God-knows-who-" I am momentarily interrupted by Aaron's indignant, _Hey! _"or, even worse, Fang's escapades with me."

"Speaking of escapades, Ella told me that Val had to buy you…_Plan B _the other day."

I gasp, glaring at Iggy. "How the hell did she know?"

He shrugs. "Dunno. But, that reminds me…Aaron, I want to raise the stakes of our bet."

"Are you kidding? That bet isn't even fair anymore since we made it back when they weren't sleeping together. I say we scrap it."

"No way," Iggy says, smirking.

I shift, sit up, and rub my forehead. "What time is it?"

"Like, two," Iggy says. "We should probably get goin'."

"Yeah, school tomorrow, Max," Aaron says. "I'll drive you guys home."

We shuffle outside and climb in the car. Aaron's playing some rock music quietly in the background. Fang's in the passenger seat, sitting still and quiet. Iggy's in the back with me.

"Hey, man, I was wondering," Aaron says, turning down the long back road that led to our house. "You think you want to start learning how to drive again?"

The idea makes me nauseas - I haven't driven since the accident and I definitely don't miss it. Still, it makes sense. With so many non-winged members of our little gang now, we needed a different mode of transportation.

"Val was teaching me," Fang says finally. "…Before."

"Good, then I won't have too much trouble reminding you the basics," Aaron says lightly. "We can start after school tomorrow."

He doesn't really leave much room for argument. Fang doesn't say anything, but it doesn't matter because we're already home.

"See you guys tomorrow," Aaron says as we pile out.

We get inside, lock up, and I head to the bathroom to shower before bed. Fang's still out there, checking all the doors and windows and whatnot. Iggy goes straight up to his room.

A couple things change when you're living with your boyfriend. Little things, first, that don't bother you so much. Like, clothes being on your bedroom floor that aren't yours. And, the sudden inability to change in your room without accidentally seducing someone. Or, the fact that the blankets always end up pulled off the bed toward him in the morning.

There are good things, too, I guess, but I haven't really been cashing in those good things in a while because our relationship is so rocky.

But tonight, it isn't weird. I dress in the bathroom, which I sometimes forget I have to do now. I come into the room in a t-shirt and shorts, shut the door quietly as to not wake the others, and slither into bed next to Fang.

Sometimes the way we fit together makes me crazy.

"Mmm, hm," I curl against him. "Tired. Hold me."

He's still in a good mood. "I am."

"Kiss me."

He tilts down his chin and kisses me lightly, his lips haphazardly matched against mine.

I smirk as he pulls away. "I have all the power. I can make you do anything I want…"

Fang raises an eyebrow. "I don't know about _anything_…"

I laugh.

"Go to sleep," he murmurs. "You have to get up early for school tomorrow."

I shift, feeling an ache in my lower back. "Can't. Uncomfortable."

Fang lets go immediately. "Sorry."

"Not you, I just…" I shift again, onto my stomach, and feeling the empty ache continue, "…don't feel good."

"I know," he says, rolling away from me and making the mattress whine as he reaches onto the table by the bed. "Here."

I hold out my hand without opening my eyes and feel something small hit my palm.

"Midol?" I croak. "Why-"

Fang rolls onto his back, reaches over again, and gets a water bottle.

"I can read your mind, remember?" he turns his head and grins at me as I sit up. "Not always as fun as I'd imagined, but still…enlightening."

I roll my eyes. "Well, thanks." I swallow the medicine and then lay back down, curling up beside him.

Fang's warm hand smoothes over the small of my back, and I try to not bask in the heat too much. It helps distract from the cramps immensely, just to have something rubbing my back.

"Fang-"

"Just…let me help you for once," Fang breathes, even though this is a stupid reason for him to pamper me. So what? I'm a girl and he isn't - no logical reason for him to have to pay for it. Not like it's his fault.

I can see, however, where he's getting this need to feel, well, _needed_. I guess the worst part about being thrown into normal life once again was that everything had gone on without him. And now, of course, we all watch him carefully and try to help him. Maybe letting him help me a bit would be good for him.

I honestly have no idea, but I don't think it could really hurt anything at this point.

"Keep doing that," I mumble. "Feels good."

He doesn't say anything, but his fingers continue rubbing my back slowly.

I think I'm close to actually falling asleep when he inquires softly, "Max?"

"Mmmhm?"

"What you said the other day? About…faking?"

I open my eyes to look at him. He's lying on his back and I'm halfway on top of him, my cheek on his shoulder. I have to lift myself up a bit to look at him.

"That bothered you, huh?" I barely have to ask. I have access to his mind, too, and know that it left it's mark. "I was just trying to piss you off. I didn't mean it."

"I know, but…" he pauses. "Never?"

"Never," I insist. "Everything between us has been real." Then, smiling a bit, I add, "At least, on _my _end."

Fang's lips twitch but he doesn't say anything.

"Do I have to prove it to you?"

Fang looks down at me, his eyebrows raised.

I snort. "Fine. But not right now. Maybe next week."

I roll off him and turn on my side and Fang sighs dejectedly, wrapping his arms around me. I can feel his breath on my shoulder.

"Upset?" I say jokingly.

"Not about the time frame," Fang promises, kissing my shoulder blade. "About the _maybe_."

I actually let out a laugh. My heart speeds up a bit and I grab his hand, which is still trying to massage my back, and pull it around me to rest on my waist. "Fine. Definitely."

"Good," Fang murmurs, now kissing my ear gently. "Because next time, I don't want it to be out of loneliness, fear or anger. I want it to be _us_."

I'm still holding his hand, and I run my thumb over his calloused hand, closing my eyes.

"It will be," I say tiredly.

"I know."

"I love you," I say.

"I know," Fang tucks me under his chin and kisses the back of my head. "Go to sleep."

• • •

"Max?"

I look up. I'm sitting alone on the bed in our room, trying to force myself to do my homework. It's the next afternoon, right after school.

Emma comes in, shuts the door, and crawls onto the soft comforter beside me. Fang is out with Aaron and Iggy - Aaron's trying to teach Fang the basics of driving again, so he can get his license.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Are you busy?"

"Oh, no, I'm just trying to-"

"Good." She looks at me, unsure, her dark eyes wide. "I want to talk to you about my mom."

I sigh, closing my binder and setting my homework aside. This'll have to wait.

"What about her?" I say.

Emma drags in a long breath.

"She wants me to come see her." She lays an envelope on the bed between us, and I stare at it in shock. Evelyn has written to Emma. I don't know why, but I never imagined that she would try to contact her daughter. Maybe I should have been prepared for this, but I am not.

"Oh."

"I told Fang, before he left, and he got really upset with me. I mean, he didn't say anything, but…"

_Shit, shit, shit. _There goes all our progress of the last few days. I chew on my lip.

Emma shakes her head and starts over. "I know she was a bad person. But…I can't fully understand until someone tells me what she did."

"It's so complicated, Emma. I don't even know where to start…"

"I need to know, Max." Emma flipped the envelope over and over in her hands, thoughtful but determined. "Please tell me what Fang won't."

**A/N: Sorry it's late and even sorrier it's short. Hopefully, I'll see you guys soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh, shit, thank you so much guys. Sorry I don't have time to do responses. **

**Quick shout out, though, to my reviews for last chapter: WithoutWings, Hagbre5498, pancakes-for-you, Stormchase, KLovesToRead, DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever, WingedArcher01, Nola96, awesomealpha11, Resisting-Moonlight and the lovely FaxFiction. Thank you, dearies. I love it. **

**Hope you like it. **

MAX

"Um…Do you want to read it?" she asks finally, offering the letter to me.

I shake my head. "No. No, that's okay. I just…am not sure where to start."

Emma frowns. "Well, I know she was bad. I know she…made mistakes. And I know she wasn't framed or anything, because she pleaded guilty in court - the officer told me that."

I nod slowly. Of course she pleaded guilty. I'd seen all the evidence they had against her. There were videos, documentations and journals of all her experiments and plans - they hadn't even needed Fang to testify.

"Do you know what she did for a living?"

"She was a doctor," Emma says. "I think."

I pause. "Em, what all do you know about our lives? Our past, I mean?"

She shrugs. "Fang doesn't want me to know. I've asked him before. About the wings, and why the only adult around is Dr. M. He…he told me it wasn't important, and that he'd tell me when I was older. Then I asked Gazzy, but I think Fang beat him to it. All Gaz would tell me was that you guys were…science experiments."

"Yeah, we were. My father and Fang's father - not the same man, mind you, I heard how that sounded - they worked together to create the six of us. As an experiment. Kind of a what-if situation."

"What if we made people that weren't just…people?" Emma cuts in.

I smile at her. "Yeah. We're only two percent bird but…it shows."

"No kidding." She looks thoughtful. "So you and Fang both know who your parents are? Why don't the others?"

"The only reason Fang and I know is because our fathers…they worked for the School - where we were made. They were involved with our lives for a long time, and they knew who had donated in order to make us. As for the others…they were random. Jeb promised me a long time ago he had no idea who their parents were."

"Jeb?"

"My father."

"Oh."

"Anyway, you're mom… she was young when she donated to the project. She helped Fang's dad, and then…he fired her."

Emma's eyebrows furrow.

"Well, everything after that is conjecture because she refused to talk, or that's what the police told me, anyways. But, the idea is that she moved away, continued working, and eventually developed her own plan. She hadn't known the details of the project, but it wasn't hard for her to find out. Especially when we started showing up online and on TV.

"We don't really know if she started out with Fang as part of her plan, or if she altered her plans once she rediscovered him. We don't know. But…eventually, she decided to use Fang as a catalyst for her idea and…she took him. I think she drugged him; he was home the night before he disappeared, and I have no idea how she could have gotten him without using some kind of tranquilizer."

I watch Emma carefully. Of course no one wants to hear awful things about their mother, but…she is a good listener. She isn't interrupting and she is fully focused on me. I hope I'm not upsetting her.

"For eight months, she had him in an isolation tank. It's kind of a…sensory deprivation chamber; it's supposed to help shut down the body's senses. Basically, your body mimics death, but you're still alive."

Emma's face twists in horror. "Why?"

Again, conjecture. But I tell her, even though I don't know if I'm supposed to or not. "To figure him out. In that time, she found out a way to block his powers. She figured out how to get into his head. It gave her time to adjust her plans."

"And…after that?"

I hesitate. This girl was curious, honest, and BA, if you ask me. But that didn't mean I had to ruin her entire childhood memory collection. She didn't need specifics. She needed closure.

"Emma…your mom loved you. There's no doubt in my mind that somewhere in there, there was a woman that really cared about you. You were her daughter. But Fang…was not her son. Not in her mind. Fang was an object. A lab rat. That's how she treated him. And it was not fair or pretty or legal. None of it."

Emma picked at a loose string on the bedspread.

"How can someone be two totally different people at once?"

I put my hand over her worrying fingers. "If you want to keep a relationship with your mom, I can't stop you. If you want to visit her, I'll take you-"

"No," Emma says softly. "I don't care if she didn't consider Fang her son. He _is _my brother. And I know he cares about me. He's a little closed-off, but I _know _he cares. He wouldn't have asked me to stay if he didn't. …Right?"

My eyes prick hotly, and I blink and nod. "Right."

Emma's eyes water, too. "I can't say I don't believe it, because she admitted to doing it. And…I feel like letting her still be apart of my life would be letting her win in some way. And I can't betray Fang like that." She wipes her eyes. "I think he's all the family I need."

• • •

Towards the evening, Iggy and Aaron come back without Fang. I look up from my book as they sit on the couch next to me.

"Where's Fang?" Aaron and I ask at the same time. My eyes widen.

"What? He was with you," I say.

"He called a quits to driving practice hours ago," Aaron says slowly. "Said he was tired and was going home."

I shoot up immediately. "Well, he never did."

"What do you mean, he never did?" Iggy demands. I go over to the door and pull on a pair of shoes.

"I mean he hasn't been home since four! I'll be back - I think I know where he might be."

I don't wait. I pull on a jacket and run out of the house, jumping into the air the moment I have enough momentum. I head straight for the cave.

Who knows how long later, we're still sitting in that cave. Our shoulders are pressed together, both of us leaning against the rough rock wall. I let out a sigh.

"Emma told you," I say softly. "That Evelyn wrote to her."

The name visible gets under Fang's skin. His jaw locks and he looks away, out the narrow cave opening, at the red sunset sky.

"It's one step forward, two steps back," he mumbles. "She's fucking _everywhere_. As soon as I think I can block it out, it comes back harder than ever. I'm starting to think I'll never get over it…"

"Blocking it out will never work," I whisper. "Acting like it didn't happen isn't the way to heal. You have to accept that it happened and that it's over."

He doesn't say anything for a long, long time, and I wait in suspense.

"Max, you're the strongest person I know," Fang says, not looking at me. His fingers are twisted with mine, his palm warm against my own. He stares out the cave opening at the dimming sky. "I wish I was half as strong as you."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing," I say quietly. "You've always been there to hold it together for me while I fell apart. You taught me how to let go. I want…to help you do the same thing."

Fang doesn't say anything.

"And I'm sorry, but I think the only way _to _help you is to make you talk to me. You need to talk about it. Just fucking get it out," I say. "I will not think any different of you if you admit that you were hurt or scared or alone. It won't change a thing. We…lived through shit like that, Fang. And I know it wasn't _nearly _the same thing, but different nightmares tormented us as kids. And without having you to pour my soul out to, those things would still haunt me _every day_."

"I know," Fang whispers.

"You freed me, from every memory that ever haunted me from the School," I say gently. "Now, let me repay the favor." 

He does. He can't jump right in to pouring out his heart to me, so first he talks softly about missing me, about imagining us moving on without him.

"I hated myself the whole time, for leaving you," Fang says gently, his fingers running up and down my jean clad leg slowly, rhythmically. "Because I'd promised. And I…I knew that you'd probably never find me. That you'd always wonder…"

I lean back against him. I vow to myself that I won't interrupt. I'll listen, I'll absorb, and when he's ready, I'll distract. But I won't interrupt. This is his time. He doesn't have to look at me; I'm sitting with my back to his chest, his chin on my shoulder. It's too dark, anyways. He can hold me and know I'm here and tell me anything. I won't speak. I won't move. I'm his captive audience, and he can burden me with anything. I hope he does.

"I couldn't figure out why she was doing it," he continues. "She would wreck me, Max…God, she would force me to near-death sometimes. And I just never knew _why_. She set me up to fail. She…she'd give me tests that I could never pass. The first month or so out of the tank, I wasn't chained up. I was being tested for physical skill. And she knew I'd fail, but made me try anyways, then she would torture me for not doing it right. How was I supposed to do it? After eight months of having my body, my senses, my _mind _in a state of paralysis? How was I supposed to manage anything?"

His fingers crawl up to my belly now, tracing my ribs and massaging my hipbones. The movement of his fingers keeps him rooted, I realize. It's hard for him to talk about all of this without being sucked into the memories.

"I almost couldn't. She had too much faith in my instinct, I guess, because I almost died from it a couple times. She pushed me too far, expected too much, and I could never handle it. Then she moved on from physical torment and started verbal. It can't even be called abuse. It was assault. Every single punishment and act of violence, she'd mention you. The others. Her goal, I think, was to relate the pain and anger to you guys."

I tense, itching to grab his hands and hold them in mine. I don't move.

"Anyways…I don't think I knew how to let her win. I don't think I had it in me to let go of that fight. I think it was you; that little piece of you that was drilled into my brain during training as kids."

I leaned my head back against his shoulder and closed my eyes as the next words drifted over me. _I hated you for that_, I hear quietly in my mind. _When she started to ruin me, when I couldn't hate anything else anymore, I hated you. Because you were the only reason I hadn't given up, and I wanted to give up so badly._

I expect more, and I wait in silence, but Fang doesn't speak again. He kisses my shoulder blade, through my cotton t-shirt, and my whole body breaks out into gooseflesh. I want to say so much, but think it's better if we just accept what he's admitted. It's out of him, which is all that matters. One less painful memory that he isn't bottling up, blaming himself for. This works. This is better.

I could baby him, but instead I let silence take over us for a while. It gets pitch black outside and his words have fully settled before I say softly, "How deep do you think it goes?"

I stand up and move slowly into the darkness. After a second, I feel Fang's presence beside me. I mold my fingers with his and step tentatively further into the darkness. Fang explores beside me, silently.

"Not too far," he says, lifting our hands to the cold cave wall.

So it was only about ten feet deep. It was still cool; the stalactites dangled like crystals and there were natural rock formations.

"I like this place," I say. "Our place."

"Yeah," Fang murmurs. "Whenever we miss hanging out in caves…"

I laugh, looking at him. I can just make him out in the darkness. He looks like a weight has been lifted off him. Not the entire weight, not nearly the entire weight. But for a second, he looks relieved.

_I'd _done that for him. Maybe I didn't suck so bad at this, after all. Maybe I could help him. Just slowly.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi friends. **

**Okay, the one downside to this story is that I will have to do **_**some **_**time-skips. That happens in this chapter, but it's important, because even though you guys might not care, I cannot make this story 100 chapters long. I just can't. Plus, some of the filler chapters would get **_**really **_**boring. Gotta move along with the next few stages of Fang's recovery. There's mental, physical, and social. And we're getting there. I promise. **

**Upside? Two updates in 24 hours! Talk about being spoiled…**

**Stormchase: If Evelyn weren't in jail, I have no doubt she'd fight tooth and nail for custody. But she's in jail. Thank God! Thank you for the review… (:**

**WithoutWings: Thank you! I try. I'm glad you like the way I dealt with Emma. I think that I had a lot of holes in the trilogy, and I know that this is helping clear it up. Again - thank you!**

**FaxFiction: Yeah, we're only about 1/3 of the way through this story - if even that. His mental healing was first and foremost, but there's more. I'm very excited. I hope you are, too. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback!**

**Flytothemax97: Thank you! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Well, hopefully you don't feel too bad for him in this chapter. ;)**

**Nola96: I'm so glad! I mean, not that Fang wrecks you, but that this is clearing up so many "but what about…" questions I know we all had. **

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: Oops, sorry. That won't happen in this chapter. I think. I hope. Thank you, ma'am!**

**NOTICE: This one specifically is for Nola96. She knows why. ;)**

**M WARNING: Remember that time in **_**Consequences **_**when Fang said they did it in the car? Yeah, um…**

MAX

Three entire weeks later, many things have happened.

Nudge preformed amazingly in her play at school. She was really excited for Fang to see her, especially because she had one of the main parts this time. It turned out great, and the whole flock plus Mom and Ella went to see her. Fang bought her flowers for afterwards, and I've never seen Nudge that entirely happy.

Fang got his license, around the time we found him a decent used car online. This meant that Aaron no longer had to cart around our non-winged members. This also means that now Fang had to. I know he is kind of annoyed _sometimes_, but for the most part, having Emma or Holden ask Fang for help, even with this, is helping him a bit. I think.

Aaron broke up with Emily - _again_. They were a very unstable couple, honestly, and all the flip-flopping was giving us all whiplash. Anyways, the break up meant that Aaron was around more than usual - if you can even imagine _that_.

Nudge went on three dates with the same guy. His name is Isaac, he's in her grade, and so far I haven't noticed anything about him that makes me want to seriously kick his ass. We'll give him some time.

And through all this, one thing _hasn't _happened. Unfortunately.

I crawl into bed at almost midnight, groaning into my pillow.

"Fang, I know I said we'd do this, like, weeks ago, but…I'm so tired. Can we give it a rain check?"

He doesn't say anything. I dive into his mind, but the weird thing is that he isn't thinking much. That is not the brain activity of a normal, awake person. Jeez.

"Fang." I thump his shoulder.

"What, babe?" he mumbles sleepily, reaching out and pulling me to him. "Say somethin'?"

I smile tiredly into his chest. "No. Night."

So sue me. Trying to keep life normal for the others while helping Fang battle his inner demons is not easy. Plus, it isn't like I'm missing alone time with him. I mean, our dreams count, right?

In the morning, Fang hits me with something big.

"I want to go back to school."

I throw a pair of jeans onto the bed and turn around, looking in the closet for a shirt. It's Friday morning, about six thirty, and way too early.

"What?"

"Yeah. My classes online are all done."

I look over my shoulder at him. I know this isn't just Fang being studious. He hates sitting home alone all day, just with his thoughts to keep him company. And, he has been making progress; we haven't had a big episode since Evelyn tried to write to Emma. Maybe this is what he needs.

But…What if he isn't ready? What if the smooth-sailing of the last few weeks wasn't real, and school is a rude awakening?

I bite my lip, still digging in the closet.

"I'm ready," Fang says simply.

_Trust him. You aren't his guardian and you don't make his decisions_, I remind myself. _You stand by his choices and pick up the pieces if he happens to make the wrong one. _

"Okay. When?"

Fang doesn't say anything right away.

I turn around, pulling my shirt off the hanger and onto the bed.

"Monday?"

He just looks at me, gauging my reaction.

"I'll talk to the counselor today," I say decisively. I turn around and pull off my shirt, quickly replacing it with the other one. "Maybe she'll be able to figure it quick enough for Monday. You'll probably be stuck in bullshit classes until next semester, but oh well."

"That's fine."

"Okay," I say. "Good." I yank on my jeans, then glance in the mirror to see my hair is as atrocious as usual. I decide to throw it up in a bun, which is a messy look that I can _rock_. No matter how much Nudge says I'm killing my hair.

I move out of the room to the bathroom, where I squeeze between Iggy and Angel and grab my toothbrush. Once I finish brushing, I shove my way out of the bathroom again and down the stairs. Fang's in the kitchen in his sweats and a grey shirt, pouring chocolate milk into three glasses.

"Can I stay home?" Nudge asks in a whine, shoving two textbooks into her backpack.

"No," I say. Fang hands me a glass of milk and I chug it down, stealing an apple from the bowl on the counter. As I eat my apple, the others finish getting ready. But the time it's almost seven, we're on our way out the door.

Fang slides into the driver's seat of his car, Holden, Emma and Gazzy - deep in conversation with Fang's sister - already in tow. He drives them, now. Sometimes Nudge, too, when she doesn't want to ruin her hair.

"Bye," I murmur, kissing him gently. "I'll see you later. Be careful."

"I will. …Thanks," he says, his eyes searching mine. "I mean, for not…just thanks."

I kiss him again before running down the driveway and joining the others in the air.

• • •

It's the end of the day and I'm shoving my books into my locker when Aaron scares the crap out of me.

I shoot him a withering look as we both bend down to pick up my stuff.

"Sorry," he says offhandedly. "Anyways, go home, get the boys and come to my house."

"Why?"

"I'm throwing a party."

I still don't get it. "Why?"

Aaron sneers at me, but it seems nothing can ruin his mood right now. "Just…get your ass to my house as soon as you can. Park in the garage."

"Wait - _why_?" I demand. But it doesn't matter, he's already disappeared into the crowd of teenagers. I finally get my books situation and slam my locker. Iggy and Ella are heading down the hall toward me.

"Hey, did Aaron tell you-"

"Yeah," Ig says. "People have been talking about it all day."

I groan. I'd had it in my head that Fang and I could spend some one-on-one time tonight. Looks like that isn't happening.

"Let's just…get home."

Ella comes home with us because Iggy plans on dragging her to Aaron's later. Fang is already up to date on the plan, too. As soon as I say, "Hey-"

He says: "Go get ready. Aaron wants us over in five."

I glare at him and head upstairs. I don't know what exactly about my outfit I'm supposed to change. I switch my worn-out jeans to light-wash skinny jeans and pull a sweatshirt over a black tank top.

I make my way back downstairs. Ella already looks adorable from school in a casual blue dress and a cream cardigan. I look at the others.

"Okay, we're going to Aaron's. Holden, you coming?"

"No, thanks. I have plans with some friends, but we might stop by."

"Okay. Nudge, you guys good alone tonight?"

"Yeah, we're having a movie night," Nudge says motioning to a stack of DVDs. "Fang got us movies while we were at school."

I'm starting to see just how premeditated this was.

"Okay, let's go," Iggy says, clapping.

"Why are we going so early?" Ella mumbles, sliding into the backseat with Ig.

"Because we have to help him party-proof his house," Iggy says.

I roll my eyes. A couple minutes later, we're driving down Aaron's secluded driveway.

"He wants you in the garage, Fang."

"I know," Fang says, pulling into the garage carefully in Aaron's mom's spot.

As soon as we're out of the car, Aaron is standing in the doorway to his house, closing us into the dark garage.

"Parents are in Chicago visiting my grandpa and sister is sworn to secrecy. Let's get to work."

We spend an hour helping Aaron get his house ready for his dumb party. Iggy is hooking up music to Aaron's surround-sound and Fang's in the kitchen, filling bowls with chips and things. I walk into the kitchen and stop.

"Why-"

"It's a keg."

I make a face at Aaron. "I know what it is. Why do you have one?"

"Because," Aaron says seriously. "If I'm going to be the kid in our grade with the best parties, I have to start, like, yesterday."

I roll my eyes. Aaron shoves bags of plastic cups into my arms and points to the keg. "Set up the drink station."

"Don't tell me what to do," I say back, but head over there anyways.

"What time did you tell people to come?" Ella calls.

Aaron stops. "Was I _supposed _to give a specific time?"

To answer that question, someone knocks on the door.

• • •

Five hours later, the party is in full swing. It's almost ten and I swear everyone I know is here - and then maybe a hundred I don't know. I understand now why Aaron wanted us in the garage. Even though a ton of people carpooled, there are cars all up and down his long, gravel driveway.

"You're going to have a ton of people sleeping over."

"Everyone that came in the door had a DD," Aaron says. "I'm not stupid. They're all wearing these."

He pulls out one of those sparkly cone party hats that has DD written on it sloppily in permanent marker. What's sad? I look around and he's _right_. People actually are wearing them, besides a few who have them strung around their necks or in their hands. How does he get people to do this shit?

Just as I'm about to voice that, Fang comes up with a cup in his hand. Wonderful.

"Well, looks like we're staying," I say to Aaron. There's no way I want to drive tonight. He shrugs.

"I figured you would. I called Nudge about an hour ago."

"Wanna go play pool?" Aaron says to Fang, who shrugs. I see Ella and Iggy across the living room and go into the kitchen. I grab a handful of chips, make small talk with some girls from my English class, then find myself totally bored. Just around the time that song _Complete _comes on, and I'm feeling anything but.

I need Fang.

I head downstairs to see Aaron and Fang playing pool with a few guys. Iggy and Ella are on the couch, talking to some other kids I slightly recognize.

I go up to Fang and touch his arm. He's strategizing the game, his eyes raking over the table for the best move.

"Hey," he says distractedly, dropping a kiss on my head.

"Hey," I say. I tug on his arm. "Come with me."

"Hm? What?" He actually looks at me, now. I look at him pointedly.

His eyes widen slightly. "Ig, come play for me."

"How the hell do you expect me to do that?" Iggy calls. "I'd have to touch everything on the table just to get a chance!"

Aaron laughs. "Whatever. Fang's out."

Fang rolls his eyes and follows me upstairs. I drag him into the garage, chase of a few stragglers in the corner who are smoking, and shut the door connecting the garage to the house. Then I climb into the backseat of the car.

"Too crowded for you?" Fang asks. He's still holding the drink I saw him with half an hour ago. Good. 'Least he's not going crazy.

I nod, grabbing the keys from his jacket pocket.

"Don't start it," Fang says, leaning back against the seat. "Unless you want to die from toxic gas."

I sneer at him over my shoulder while I lean over the console, turning the key backwards. That way, I don't start the engine, but we can turn on the radio. I scoot backwards after turning the music up a bit and Fang pulls me back with one arm.

I don't know if that's his first drink or not, but he is definitely relaxed. He isn't drunk, maybe not even buzzed, but I think this party, with people who aren't just me and the flock, is helping him wonderfully. He doesn't feel like such an outcast anymore. He's happy.

He's even happier as he shoves his cup into my hand and pulls me closer, his hands going around to admire the back pockets of my jeans.

"Hold my drink while I ravage you," he grumbles, kissing my lips softly.

I smirk, pull away, and put his drink in the cup holder up front.

"I think I'm going to need my hands," I mumble, pulling off my sweatshirt. I'm wearing a tank top, but Fang looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Here?" he asks incredulously. "I was kidding!"

"It's been like a month," I say. "For me. And that hand job fumble shouldn't count for you."

Fang shrugs his jacket off. "I think it counts."

"I miss you. I wanted to spend some time together tonight, just the two of us, but Aaron demanded to have this dumb party…"

"But…here? Are you _sure_?"

I roll my eyes. I _know _he wants this. "Whether you want to or not, this body moves like clockwork," I say, pointing to myself. "Been almost a month, remember? If you want to wait another _whole _week-"

"No," Fang murmurs. "I definitely don't want to do that. Come here."

I grin for a second before Fang's lips are on mine. I can't say the taste of beer is much of a turn on, but I pull him close, anyways, nipping at his lips. Fang unbuttons my jeans and then, after trying to yank the skin-tight fabric off, says, "You'll have to do that part."

It isn't comfortable, but we manage to lose the bottom half of our clothing pretty quick.

We keep our shirts on because though we're secluded, we're still surrounded by windows.

"Condom," I gasp.

Fang's eyes widen. "Shit, I don't-"

I reach down to his jeans, find his wallet, then pull out the small package I'd stuck in there weeks ago.

"You're a genius," Fang comments.

"You're welcome."

Fang rolls over, pulling me on top, and I freeze.

"What?" he whispers.

I look down at him, blinking the sleep away. "I don't know how to be on top."

Fang smiles, still running his fingers over my skin. He looks entranced. "You were born to lead, Max, you'll be fine."

"Fang, seriously," I mumble, too nervous. He shifts under me and helps me get positioned, and the whole time I'm not sure what I'm doing. "Can't we-"

"What? We're six feet tall. Horizontal is not going to work for very long in here," Fang says reasonably, motioning to the length of the backseat.

So this is how we end up. Fang is sitting in the middle seat and my legs are on either side of him. I have _no idea _what I'm doing…

But how can I regret something like this?

Fang whispers a curse to my collarbone as he slides home and I close my eyes, trying to stay relaxed so we don't struggle with this part like the last two times. My body clenches involuntarily, but I feel my muscles relax quickly, yielding to him. I groan, wrapping my arms around him.

"Okay."

"It's different this way," Fang murmurs, his breath on my face as we hold each other.

I know what he's really referring to, but I smile anyways. "Awake?" I joke, and he lets out a breath that could be considered a laugh.

His eyes are soft and open to me, and I can see his emotions. He's calm. This is drastically different from the last time, and not just because we're both coherent. This is like the first time, where we went slow and we bumped and fumbled but I could see the love in his eyes. This is just like that. It makes my whole body shake.

He kisses down the side of my face while I accommodate him, breathing slowly. His large hands hold my sides and we're pressed together completely as I lean against him. It's intense this way, really intense, and I have to take a second to find my pace.

"Ah! - It _is _different," I gasp, grabbing his shoulders blindly as we move.

"Sorry," Fang whispers.

"Don't." I mean to say, _Don't apologize_, but the word dies in my throat and I'm too caught up in this anyways. My voice sounds barely there, almost just a breath. My hand touches his cheek and he moves his head, pressing his lips gently to my palm. "Do it again. I - _augh_."

He stops again. "Does it hurt?"

I hum, still moving, but Fang moves to carefully roll us over, thinking the position is hurting me.

"No," I gasp, putting my hands on the seat by his shoulders. "…Let me."

I see it flash in his eyes. _She likes it this way. _That thought drifts to me from his mind. I nod, squeezing my eyes shut. I try different movements, I try to find some method that doesn't make my thighs burn. I try to watch him and feel him and go slow all at the same time, which proves impossible. I try to make him make _that _noise again, the soft groan that he'll never admit came from his throat.

He watches me, his eyelids heavy.

I press my face into the crook of his neck and groan, rotating my hips and moving on him jerkily. "_Fang_," I breathe, gripping his arms while I move.

His hands, that are resting on my thighs, move up to my hips and help me for a few quick strokes, pulling me farther up than I've been willing to go on my own. I try not to mewl helplessly and fail _miserably_.

"God, Max," he lets out in a groan, his movements stalling.

"Wait, wait," I gasp. "I…I…need…"

He rolls me over, reading my mind. He spreads my legs with his and presses into my harder and I bite my lip to keep from making any noise.

"_Unh_…your hand."

He looks at me weird, letting go of my hip and resting his palm on my abdomen, like, _here ya go._ I whimper, grabbing his hand in mine.

"Fang," I croon softly, pulling him closer. I move our hands down, down, down, between us, right above where he's rocking into me. With my fingers behind his, I press down, show him how I want him to touch me. He catches on immediately, whether he's great at sign language or at reading my mind, because I definitely can't tell him with words what I want right now. I'm way too past words.

"Don't stop…I…Fang, just…_kiss me_," I gasp. His lips are smashing against mine before I even get the plea out, and I kiss him deeply while I go kind of unconscious for a second. My head jerks back and I let out a sound I didn't even know I could make and Fang's lips suck hard on my throat.

He has to take over after that, once my muscles are rendered useless. It only takes him a few more times and then I'm holding him, draped over him, kissing his neck while he comes to me quietly.

"Love you," I breathe softly.

"Mmm, I love you," Fang returns with gentle kisses on my face. We sit together, still totally warpped around each other, breathing and coming down from that experience.

Then, I can hear voices over the music playing through the speakers of Fang's car.

"_Dude, look - is this car running_?"

**A/N: Yowza. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I JUST UPDATED 11 HOURS AGO AGH I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER. **

**Dawh. Thank you guys. I am so happy. More reviews = way faster updates. These chapters are just sitting around waiting to be uploaded, honestly. And as long as I get some decent reviews, I have no qualms with updating every 12 hours. **

**And, as long as my wonderful reviewers promise to review for every chapter, even if they're all uploaded in one day, I'm willing to continue spoiling y'all as long as I can!**

**awesomealpha11: "Deep but fluffy" is definitely my forte. Aaron is definitely one of my favorites to write, ever. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for taking the time to review for me, I totally appreciate it. **

**Hagbre5498: I love it when you review for my stories! It's definitely in my top 10 of "favorite things." I'm not even kidding. Something about this story - more than any of the other ones - has me totally anxious for feedback. It's a touchy genre and a touchy topic, not to mention my first time publishing lemons…I'm just so glad this is not crashing and burning like I'd imagined! Thank you! **

**KLoves2Read: Yeah, I figured they deserved a pleasant experience, in contrast to their earlier fumbles. They're figuring it out. Glad you liked it! (And THANK YOU so much for the double reviews!)**

**kateflowrchild13: Fang's day back at school will come up soon. Hope you love it! I worked my ass off on it. Also…I am writing you an Eggy oneshot. I figured you definitely deserved it, because almost every review you've ever left me in TMW mentions that ship. It will be out soon, hopefully. I'm just…struggling to finish it up perfectly. Hope you love that, too! Thanks so much for reviewing, girl. I love it. **

**Nola96: I knew you would be happy! I love you, too, for reviewing so wonderfully each time! Plus, you **_**asked **_**for the car scene… and it was just too tempting to resist. They are adorably awkward and open with each other. That's something I really, really love about their relationship. We'll dip into Fang's mind a lot more. Like I said…only 1/3 of the way through the story. He's got a ways to go. Thank you so so much for the reviews!**

**FaxFiction: You made me laugh out loud with your epiphany review. I'm glad you made the connection and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm no pro at M, not like you, but I'm trying. I don't think it's weird that you chose "pretty." Their relationship is beautiful, really, so I totally understand. I'm so psyched that you are excited to read this. Is that weird? That I still get totally blown away by the fact that people want to read my stuff? Gah. I hope every chapter in this story makes you guys happy. Especially you, because you kind of kicked me in the ass and made me write it. Haha!**

**Stormchase: I'm glad I got such a shaken, happy, Nudge-worthy reaction for the last chapter! I was really glad with how the chapter turned out, too. Fang will have an episode, but not like he's had in the past. You'll see. I'm real excited. Thanks so much for reviewing. You take a lot of time to review and the long responses really encourage me to write and update ASAP.**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Glad you don't pity him too much anymore. ;) Yeah, car sex is usually always more fun. Definitely. Thank you so much!**

MAX

"We're in trouble," I rasp in Fang's ear.

"Fuck, I'm too tired for this."

I look at him, shocked. I mean, sure, we did just have sex three seconds ago, but _come on_. "You are such a _guy_. Wake up, Fang, we just got caught!"

"We were done," Fang argues, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

I thump him on the head. "Who knows how long they were out there!"

Fang shushes me.

"_I think there's someone in there_," a voice says.

I'm tempted to just yell, _There is, go away! _But Fang has his hand over my mouth. He gives me a look and thinks, _Not a word_.

_What are we gonna do? _I think nervously.

Fang smirks. _I have an idea. _

Holding me secure on his lap, he starts moving to get the car shaking. This is how he's going to scare them off? I almost laugh, but then the movement actually has the wrong effect - because we're still, ahem, _connected _- and I squeak out a sound, grabbing his biceps.

"Stop, stop stop _stop_," I hiss. Fang looks at me in amusement while he feels my exhausted muscles spasm around him. "Too much."

"_Dude, there are definitely people in there_."

Someone laughs. "_Wonder who's car this is. Think it's Aaron_?"

"_Get it, Ron_!"

"_You go, man_!"

I make a face at Fang. "Ew."

Fang, who has a more typical boy-mind than most think, is thinking, _Who the hell calls Aaron "Ron"?_

Just when we think we're in the clear, we hear: "What are you guys doing in here? Go inside."

"Whatever, man," one kid says, still laughing. The other one is not laughing anymore.

"Dude, if Aaron's out here…" _Lightbulb_. "Aaron, someone's getting laid in your car."

"That isn't my - oh, hell. Go inside."

For a second, we don't hear anything. Fang and I stare at each other, hanging in suspense. Then: _bam! _Something like a fist slams down on the roof of the car and I yelp in surprise. I don't think he can see in because the windows are tinted - and a bit steamed up. Either way, I burrow into Fang and he wraps his jacket around me.

"_What. The. Fuck_," Aaron seethes, his voice muffled.

Fang starts laughing, his shoulders shaking while his arms tighten around me.

"_Gross_!"

"We're just talking!" I cry, smacking Fang's chest for thinking it's funny.

"_Oh, bullshit. If you're just talking, open the door_!"

"Well, okay, hold on-"

"_God_."

A second later the garage door closes and I frown at Fang. He's still chuckling, so it's hard for me to keep a straight face. I end up grinning at him, against my will, and smack his chest again. "It isn't funny."

Fang just shakes his head, shifting me off his lap. "I love you, Max."

I smile at him before reaching for my pants. "_So_, how is it seeing everyone again?"

"It's…well, it's preparing me for Monday."

I plant both feet on the floorboard and lift my ass off the seat, yanking my jeans on. The mess between my legs isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but oh well.

"Yeah. Goodwin - that counselor at school - figured out a schedule for you for Monday. I mean, you're in shit classes like Film Studies and Keyboarding, but you'll be there. And we have lunch together."

Fang kisses me then opens the car door, sliding out. "Awesome."

He gets rid of the condom and I turn off the car, closing the door. Fang grabs the keys from me and slides back in, turning the car on for a second to roll down all the windows a little bit. He grins at me as he closes the door and pockets the keys. I hold out his beer to him. As soon as we open the door, Aaron is standing there with an angry look on his face.

"Um," I start, but Aaron holds up a hand.

"Don't have sex in my house ever again."

"We didn't!"

"Okay," Fang says, taking a drink.

Aaron just looks pointedly at me.

I sigh. "Fine. Whatever." I shove past him and head towards the bathroom. I throw over my shoulder, "Don't tell Iggy."

Aaron snorts. "Hell no! I want to pretend this never happened!"

Totally worth it.

• • •

I wake up in a bed.

Which, duh, is fine. Except this bed is smaller than mine. And it smells like aftershave that isn't Fang's.

I'm in Aaron's bed.

I roll off the mattress, and notice something else. I'm in a pair of borrowed shorts, and my jeans are folded neatly on Aaron's desk. How hospitable of them.

I push out of the shorts and pull on my jeans, then head downstairs. It's mid-clean-up, and I stand on the bottom stair, watching with interest - and disbelief, if I'm honest.

"Hey," Aaron says, shoving a bunch of empty cups into a heavy-duty trash bag. "Morning."

"Hey - is my boyfriend vacuuming?"

Aaron nods, picking up a forgotten sweatshirt from the recliner. He gives it a whiff then cringes and stuffs it into the trash bag.

"I've never…seen Fang vacuum before." I don't know why, but that's so weird to me…and a bit sad. I mean, if we hadn't lost two whole years, maybe I would've seen him doing normal things like this all the time. But, as I really think about it, this is the first time I've ever seen Fang wield a vacuum cleaner.

"Yeah, well, he's doing it. And your…whatever-you-call-him is in the kitchen, disinfecting, well, _everything_."

I smirk. "My _whatever-you-call-him_?"

Aaron straightens up and grins. "Well, yeah, I don't know what you call Ig."

Amused, I bite. "My friend, when he isn't pissing me off. My brother, when I'm feeling especially generous. And my dipshit son, when he really fucks up."

He laughs. "I'd love to hear what I am."

I take the trash bag from him and hold it open while he starts tossing littered cups and plates and…okay, I think that is a sock into it. "Thanks for letting me sleep in your room."

"Well, you were conked out first. We thought it was only fair. You can guess why I didn't let Fang sleep up there with you, I'm sure," he says with a scornful look.

I blush. "Yeah. I can guess."

I help Aaron for a bit before something bumps the back of my heels. I spin around to see Fang, moving the vacuum in for another hit. I jump out of the way and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Morning."

"Morning," I say. "Where's Ella?"

"You missed so much," Aaron says from behind me. "After you fell asleep, Ig flew Ella home. Val may not have a curfew for you, but she does for Ella."

I glance into the kitchen. "He flew Ella home…then came back?"

Aaron grins. "The party was just getting started."

"Yeah," Fang says, elbowing me. "The chaperone had just fallen asleep, after all."

"Chaperone? _Me_? Sorry, I was too busy doing unmentionable things in the backseat of someone's car," I hiss, elbowing Fang back.

We clean Aaron's house. Not spotless, because he doesn't want his parents to be suspicious or anything. But by the time Aaron's sister gets home, she glances around the living room and then nods at us once.

"Nice work," she says.

So, Aaron figures we're in the clear.

"We should get home," I say. "Mom wants us all to have dinner tonight at her house, and I want to make sure the others survived the night."

"Nudge texted me about an hour ago," Fang says. "Seems like they're all alive."

"Texts can be misleading," Iggy says. "I'm ready to go. I need a shower."

"I second that motion," I say, standing up. "Where's my sweatshirt?"

"Upstairs," Fang says, finding his shoes. "I think it was on Aaron's desk, by your pants."

I nod. I hurry up the stairs and search for my sweatshirt, but don't see it. The door opens behind me and I spin around to see Aaron.

"Fang told me he's coming to school Monday," Aaron says cautiously.

"Yeah, we got it all worked out," I say. "Why?"

Aaron hesitates. "You don't think…it's too soon?"

"He says he's ready," I say, looking at him. I stop my frantic searching to read Aaron's expression. "He's gotten better. Haven't you seen him the past few days?"

"Yeah," he says quietly. "And I saw him a couple weeks ago, strangle Nudge on the couch."

I chew on my cheek. I don't want to argue with Aaron. "It's not our choice. He says he's ready, I'm not going to hold him back."

"And when something at school upsets him? When he isn't around one of us, or someone he recognizes, and he lashes out like he did with Nudge?"

I narrow my eyes. "Aaron - this shit is already hard enough. Fang needs you right now, _on his side_."

"I am on his side!" Aaron argues. "But…I think he needs more time before jumping right back into school."

"Really? That's funny. You didn't think twice about pushing him into a scenario with obnoxious teenagers and booze! What do you think is worse? Putting him with irresponsible kids and alcohol, or sitting him in a classroom with a freaking math equation?"

"Maybe you should just _fuck _the problems out of him!" he says mockingly. "Hasn't that been working so far?"

I work my jaw furiously. That hurt. I huff in a pained amusement, looking away from him. "I can't believe you just said that to me." As I force myself to look anywhere else but at him, I see my sweatshirt on the chair by his door. I move for it and snatch it up.

"See you Monday," I say, taking his stairs two at a time. Fang has already pulled out of the garage and has the car running and I walk out Aaron's front door straight to the vehicle.

Fang looks at me as I slide into the backseat. He knows what just happened. He looks up, sees Aaron standing in his doorway, and looks at me again.

"You didn't have to do that."

I heave a sigh, slumping in my seat and resting my head on the cushiony backrest behind me. "I know."

We sit there in silence for a second.

_He didn't mean it, _Fang thinks. That's debatable, but I let it slide. Iggy, unaware of how serious the situation really is, shifts in his seat.

"Can we get some food on the way home? I'm starving."

Fang looks at me questioningly, and though I know he isn't asking me about the food, I answer with, "Food. Please. Now."

**A/N: Gah. I like writing fights way more than I like writing lemons. **

**Meh, just kidding. I love writing them equally as much.**

**Review, please! What do you think will happen at school? And, how are Max and Aaron going to make up? Plus, how would you like to see Fang's healing challenged in the near future? **

**ALSO: Any Fax ideas? I have some up my sleeve, but I'm open to suggestions. **

**Tell me!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Guys…we're at 94 reviews…that's _really damn cool_.**

**AND I have the epilogue written. Too soon?**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: The fact that you review for me at all is heartwarming enough. Take your time! And thank you so much!**

**Faxlover: Gah, thank you! I will try my hardest to make this story worth your while, lemons and all.**

**flytothemax97: I love the angst, too. I adore writing angst. It's so fun. Thank you!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Aaron has his own reasons for his attitude. They're all stressing out, and they're pitted against each other. We've got a ways to go still. I'm so excited. **

**KLoves2Read:He's extremely considerate ;) Thank you so much!**

**akwardllama: Max and Aaron have a great relationship. This story is just as much about friendship as it is about relationship and healing. Thank you!**

**Pancakes-for-you: Your reviews make my entire day! Thanks so much for the feedback. I love and hate reading in class. So hard to hold in the reactions!**

**Nola96: Thank youuuuu! Who doesn't adore Aaron? He's so wonderful. I wish he was my brother. School will be interesting, but…I'm not spoiling anything. (:**

**Guest: Thank you! I have no idea, Fax is my main fix on here. **

**Stormchase: Aaron really does just care about them…oh, well. They'll figure it out. Fang's first day of school will be interesting, too. Keep reading and reviewing, your long reviews make me so happy! (And good theories!)**

**FaxFiction: You like having questions to answer? I will keep that in mind! (: Thanks for the wonderful feedback. Fang has been having a small lapse of good behavior, but things don't always stay positive. Eventually, he'll crack. But…we all knew that was coming. Thank you!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Right? I figured that summed Iggy up in one quote. Haha! Thank you!**

**WithoutWings: Well, I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks!**

**Sorry, this one is kind of short. But…I decided to cut the chapter in half. Second half **_**hopefully **_**soon!**

**M WARNING: Nothing really happens yet, but Fang gets very hands-y...and mouth-sy (mouthy?)...in this chapter. **

MAX

"What if I just let it slide and he thinks he's right? I mean… I don't want him to think…"

"He's just worried about you," Fang says. "And me. But… I'll talk to him, if you want."

That is true. I can tell Aaron is worried about us; he has been since he witnessed Fang's episode with Nudge. But…

"There isn't a manual telling us how to deal with this, step by step," I say softly. "What does he expect from us?"

"He doesn't understand," Fang says. _No one really understands our relationship - fuck, I don't know if I even understand it sometimes. But…we have our own process. We're doing fine. _

Again, Fang makes a solid point.

"Just…what am I supposed to say to him to show him he's wrong?" I mumble, staring up at the ceiling. "_Oh, well, Fang and I only fucked to escape the pain and fear once. After that we decided it wasn't our forte_."

We're laying in our room Saturday afternoon. The TV is on but neither of us are paying attention. I was reading, by my mind kept going back to Aaron's words. Not like I was really going to hold a big grudge, because I'd said shit to hurt him, too.

But his words got me thinking.

"Twice."

"What?"

"Twice," Fang comments. "We did it twice…for that reason."

I glance at him. "When?" I mean, unless I was _really _asleep that time…

Fang snorts at my thoughts. "The angry hand job. Then the…even angrier blowjob."

I cover my face with my hands, groaning.

_I mean, if all I have to do is piss her off-_

"Stop it," I laugh, pushing his arm. "Seriously. And…that time doesn't count."

"Why not?" Fang asks. "Counts for me."

"Well, you got off and I didn't," I say without thinking.

"We could reconcile that debt _now_…"

"We _could_… Gah, Fang. What should I do?"

Obviously, the question is about Aaron. Fang, however, is done talking about the issue with Aaron. He rolls over, supports himself over me, and grins.

"What should you do? Close your eyes, relax, and only speak to scream out my name in unending pleasure."

I roll my eyes, then lean up and kiss him quickly before settling back against the pillows. _Twice in two days. I'm a lucky girl._

While I reach over to grab a condom, Fang scoots down the bed, taking my shorts with him. As soon as those are out of the way, he grabs my ankles and pulls my legs apart, pushing them up so my knees are bent. I squeak out in surprise. He looks up at me and we both freeze.

"What are you doing?" we both ask simultaneously.

Fang's staring at the foil package in my hand, and I'm staring at him like he's crazy.

"I don't need a condom."

I raise an eyebrow, not getting it. "What, so now you're _magic_?"

What could be a grin flashes over Fang's features. "Do you…know how this works?"

"I mean I'm not a pro, but we've done it a few times that I think I get the gist."

Fang shakes his head. "No, Max. No. I'm not going to have sex with you."

I fall back against my pillows. "Then can I close my legs?"

It isn't comfortable, laying splayed open this way. Yes, we've had sex, but he's never really looked down there before. Like, really looked. And now, he's _looking_.

"No. I told you I was going to level the score."

I sigh. "Well how - ew, no!"

I try scooting backwards but Fang grabs my hips.

"Why?"

"It's…it's…"

"You did it for me."

I gape at him. "For like _two seconds_!"

We're stopped by a knock on our door. "Can I come in?"

"No!" I call, wiggling out of Fang's arms. I smack a kiss on his cheek while I get up and reach for my shorts. "Sorry. Maybe next time."

After I have pulled on my pants, I open the door to see Nudge.

"What's up, kid?"

"We have to leave for Dr. M's in like an hour," Nudge says. "Just a heads up."

"Okay," I say, glancing back at Fang who's sitting on the bed innocently. "I'm taking a shower."

Nudge shrugs. "Long as you're ready in time," she says. "Dr. M is making fajitas and I'm _not _missing out on that."

I laugh, brushing past her towards the bathroom. I strip down and heat up the water, then step into the shower and pull the curtain closed. I brush my hair over my shoulders, letting the scalding water douse it. As I turn around to grab the shampoo, something wraps around me from behind and I almost scream. Thankfully, he predicted that and covers my mouth.

_What the hell are you doing?_

Fang's lips are by my ear when he says, "I know what Aaron said has you all worried. But guess what, Max? I'm not at 100% yet? Oh, well. At least right here, with you, I'm more than enough. I don't want you because you're an escape. I want you because _I've always wanted you…_" He turns me around and nips at my lips teasingly.

_Oh, holy God_. I think my heart stops because Fang gives me one last hard kiss and then drops to his knees in front of me. His fingers of one hand slide up my leg to my knee, where he lifts my leg and pulls my foot off the ground; I whimper, grabbing the wall to my left cautiously, and watch him look at me.

When he rests my leg over one of his shoulders I almost _die_, for real.

…_And now I can have you. _

**A/N: Guh. **

**Review please! I understand that it's short and not much happened, but otherwise it would've been a chapter with, like, five scenes all stuffed together. I don't want it too rushed. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I really CANNOT BELIEVE that my 100****th**** reviewer just said, "You tease :P" **

**Pancakes-for-you, you are evil! (Thanks, though.)**

**I have to work ten hours today, so lots of reviews would be a beautiful welcome home present. I also have to leave for that shitty shift in about ten minutes, so I can't do my big long responses. I'm still going to try! **

**Hagbre5498: Thank you! Uh, we aren't done with Aaron, but it won't be horrible. He's just worried, afterall. He and Max have a dynamic relationship. **

**Guest: Well, here ya go!**

**KLoves2Read: Oh, she…she finds out. **

**Faxlover: I know, I suck. And thank you! I worked really hard to develop an OC that wasn't horrible. **

**Flytothemax97: Sorry! Here! Thanks for the review. (:**

**Pancakes-for-you: …**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, Max is a little slow I guess. But guess what! We **_**do **_**see the scene play out! Thank you!**

**Nola96: Eek, I'm glad you liked it. It sure does continue… Don't think after all the pleading reviews that I could skip it. Thank you!**

**Stormchase: Because…I deliver in this chapter! Nah, it isn't weird. I love torturing these characters. Whether with embarrassment or angst or just plain confusion, it's fun. Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: You assume right my friend. We get some of Max's thoughts on Aaron's words this chapter. Hopefully you like it! Thanks.**

**WithoutWings: How many chapters? Gee. I…I don't know yet. But the epilogue is fun and I can't wait. **

**Here we go! Enjoy.**

MAX

A lot of unbelievable things have happened to me before, but holy hell I cannot believe this is happening to me.

_Oh God… Oh God oh GodohGod - oh!_

My fingers twist in Fang's hair.

"Fang," I moan softly. I'm still standing in the middle of the shower, which means I have nothing to lean on except the wall I have one hand pressed against firmly. The single leg that's holding me up is shaking.

_Everyone thinks you're in here alone, _Fang reminds me with his thoughts.

I grip his hair harder, tugging slightly. He responds by flattening his tongue and slowly laving that small nub he got to know _really well _last night in the car.

I'm getting there. The slight scratch of stubble on his chin is turning me on spectacularly. My belly clenches and I push against him, mindlessly seeking. He meets me halfway, coaxing me softly in my mind. _Relax. Let me have it, baby, let go._

I let out a soft noise which starts as his name but kind of gets lost along the way. His tongue tentatively finds its way inside me and I think I see _God_ and then-

"Max! Hurry up! I _really _gotta go - number two!"

Gazzy's voice just kind of grabs me and yanks me back to Earth. I recoil immediately, pushing Fang's head back. He looks up at me and I stare down, panting. "Well if anything was going to kill the vibe."

_He just has perfect timing, doesn't he? _Fang thinks. But it's not funny. It is _so not funny_.

I grab his hair, yank him up a bit and double over, then gasp against his lips, "Get the vision of Gazzy's fucked up digestive system out of my head, _right now_."

Fang immediately gets back to work, a sense of impatience radiating off of me and encouraging him to skip the teasing this time around. His tongue and lips and - "Ho-oh! _Fang-_" - occasionally his teeth made love to me with a rapid pace. It doesn't take long for him to build me up again.

"_Ma-ax_! You have been in there _forever_!"

I let out a huge breath of frustration. The water's starting to get uncomfortably cold, too. I close my eyes.

"It's not going to happen. Not…like this."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "Close your eyes."

I close them. Fang pushes me, so I'm out of the spray and leaning against the wall - finally getting some support. He kisses down my stomach and then swiftly pushes into me and I choke out a gasp.

"Okay?" He murmurs against my thigh, leaving soft suckling kisses.

"Uuuuh, huh," I groan, rolling my head against the tile. "Just wasn' expecting…"

I trail off as his finger curls a bit inside me, reaching and searching.

"Fang…"

Fang adds another digit, watching my face carefully. When he sees that I'm nothing but pleased with this development, he lowers his head between my legs again and takes my button between his lips, flicking his tongue against me. That does it; it's a weird feeling, standing and doubling over in pleasure.

Fang peppers sweet kisses over my belly and hips while my body relaxes. I pull him up and lean on him. He drops a kiss on my forehead.

_How do you learn this shit? _I think, panting harshly against his collarbone.

_I have a good teacher. _

I raise an eyebrow. "I distinctly remember _not _teaching you that."

Fang looks at me, his eyes dark. He taps my temple gently. "You didn't have to."

• • •

After dinner with Mom, the others are outside, stretching their wings and hanging out. Mom and I stay in to clean up.

"So, Fang's going to school on Monday."

"Good," Mom says, which is surprising.

"…You think so? Everyone else has been telling me the opposite."

"You can't baby him forever," Mom says. "He won't fully recover until he's pushed out of his comfort zone a little. Are you in any of his classes?"

I shake my head. "I had to beg the counselor, Ms. Goodwin, to pull some strings for me. He got stuck in blow-off classes for the next month or so until next semester starts, but he's allowed to go." I chew on my lip. "She was obviously worried, though. I mean, the press and the school and stuff…they only know what was released, but…that's enough. "

Mom nods. "Does Goodwin think he isn't ready?"

I shrug. "Like I value _her _opinion on it?" I say, not meanly but honestly. "She hasn't been around him. Just knowing what he's been through - or, the gist of it anyways - isn't really enough to ballpark his recovery time."

"Do _you _think he's ready?"

I take a second. "He's so…normal around me. Most of the time. Like, these past few days, he's been almost his usual self. I know school is going to be different, but…he's gotten a million times better."

Mom really looks at me now. "Does he think he's ready?"

"Yes," I say softly. "Yes, he does."

"Just trust him. I'd keep an eye on him at school as best you can, but… good for him. This means he wants to get back to that normalness; sometimes you don't see that in victims."

I don't say anything. The return of this topic has brought back everything that happened with Aaron this morning, and my head hurts just thinking about thinking about it.

"What?" Mom asks softly. "Did something happen?"

"Aaron and I fought this morning," I say, trying to sound nonchalant. "About Fang."

"About him going back to school?"

I glance at her. "Yeah. Aaron doesn't think he's ready. It basically ended up with us both accusing each other. I said he wasn't helping Fang and he…threw it right back in my face."

Mom doesn't say anything for a second. I wonder if she's trying to decide what to say, or just how to say it. Eventually, she says, "Anyone can see that whatever you're doing is helping."

"Well, he didn't exactly say I wasn't helping," I say. "He just said my method was…wrong. But he's wrong. And I know he knows he is. I just…can't help but think there's some truth in his words."

"What exactly was said?"

She asks it with no pressure whatsoever. I mean, she's my mom, but she also…isn't. I haven't grown up my whole life living in her image and trying to make her proud. When I found her years ago, I had already done many things that she would never let Ella do. It was a take me or leave me kind of deal, and she took me. With all of my baggage and my mistakes and everything, she still took me.

That's just how it is, still. Ella has a curfew and I don't - I was the mother figure of my _own _household. Even if I'm not technically the mother or an adult, she knows better than to try to change how things are. I'd lived through enough for the both of us.

This obviously changes talks like this. She is my mother, and she is an amazing confidante, but…she doesn't judge and condemn me like mothers tend to - even if on accident. And that doesn't mean I'm less afraid to tell her stuff…it just means that she never holds anything against me.

"I said that it was stupid of him to bring Fang to a party and expose him to alcohol," I mumble. "He said I was trying to fuck Fang's problems away."

Her eyes widen. "That's a big accusation."

I let out a breath. "You're telling me."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

I shrug. "I'm trying to figure out my thoughts first. I mean, I know Aaron didn't really mean what he said."

I mean, if I was going to throw the recent booze fest into his face, he was going to throw back _my _questionable decision. I don't think he really thought I was dumb enough to think that would work.

"But… there's truth underneath it. He's against me trying to be two people for Fang - his therapist and his girlfriend. Maybe he thinks I should put our romantic relationship on hold, or maybe he thinks I should get someone to professionally face his problems. But I can't imagine doing either of those things."

Of course, if Aaron really _does _think that I'm using sex to distract Fang from his memories, then we have a problem. I guess I won't know until I talk to him…

I'm dreading Monday.

Mom nods. She and I have already had this conversation, or at least touched on many of the same points.

"I thought that, too, at first," Mom says. "But you're helping more than both those things would. Trying to stop anything romantic now would just set him back and make him think he did something that upset you. And a real doctor…"

"A real doctor wouldn't work."

"Right. But I don't think Aaron's worried about Fang."

I look at her, curious.

"I think he's worried about you. I think…Aaron thinks that Fang is bound to break eventually. And maybe that…when the time comes, you won't know who to be. The girlfriend or the therapist."

• • •

_Max…Wake up_.

I roll over, groan, and use both hands and one knee to shove Fang away.

…_No. _

He catches himself from falling off the bed and then wraps his arms around me. I sigh and snuggle into him. It's Monday. I can't do Monday.

_Time?_

_Six thirty. _

"Ugh," I grumble out loud. "I hate you."

"Okay," he says, not phased by my grumpiness. His fingers are brushing through my hair slowly as I wake up. "Will you do something? To make today a little easier?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Don't…don't fight with Aaron. You don't have to talk to him, but…" he trails off. He sighs, closing his eyes, and just deserts that conversation entirely. I delve into his mind and pick up: _…What he did was stupid, but we're all doing stupid shit these days…_

What does he mean by that? My mind goes back to what Aaron said, about me taking advantage of Fang and using sex to comfort him, and I wonder if Fang regrets what we've been doing. I mean, I love him and I know he loves me. But…

My fingers crawl over his chest and he changes gears, talking to me in his mind rather than thinking to himself. _I know its been on your mind since he said it but…I don't think today is the day to hash it out. _

_Whatever you want, honey, _I think, hoping sarcasm gets through on this wavelength we communicate on. Oh, it does.

Fang shakes his head.

I sit up a little, looking down at him. "I'll try. For you. But that's it. And I want you to make me some waffles before school, because you're forcing me to be on good behavior today."

Fang smiles, his eyes still closed. "Whatever you want, honey."

**A/N: Review please! Fang's first day at school awaits…**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: 116 reviews. Holy poop. **

**Um, y'all might be mad that we don't get all the action in this chapter, but I love the chapter because I heart fights and I heart writing them. And, Max is very mentally sassy in this chapter. Gotta love it. **

**Since I have no time, I would like to thank: Hagbre5498, Faxlover, Stormchase, KLoves2Read, WithoutWings, FaxFiction, Resisting-Moonlight, kateflowrchild13, akwardllama, Guest, and Nola96. I'VE MASHED ALL TOPICS FROM REVIEWS INTO ONE RESPONSE. AND I RAMBLED. SORRY. **

_**Giant, cumulated response**_**: I feel like my version of Max is incapable (at least, right now) of dedicating herself to hot, sexy times with Fang. I mean, she's always got that undertone of sass. Her mind is constantly shooting out sarcastic and brutally honest thoughts, even while Fang goes down on her. As you can imagine, lemon scenes with my version of Max are very fun to write. Glad they were just as fun to read! If you're complimenting my lemons just to be nice, please don't stop. **

**Gazzy…I just had to throw him in there. Obviously. Do you really see Max and Fang getting **_**alone **_**alone time? Ever? **

**I'm happy that there are people out there who love Aaron as much as I do! Yes, he fucked up and hurt Max royally and yes, they're all a little worried and stressed, but they'll figure it out. Max and Aaron are friends in **_**Consequences**_**, right? Hell, they're partners. They'll get better. **

**Dr. M…I never fully understood why JP had Max trusting Dr. M off the bat, but… in this story, that plays to my advantage. I definitely didn't agree with the way JP kind of let Dr. M dictate Max's decisions sometimes, just with a "I really think it's a good idea." SO, in this story, it doesn't quite happen that way. My version of Valencia is more factual than "let me be your mother." I picture Max's relationship with her mother as the kind of relationship you have with your own mother once you're thirty with kids and your own life. Sorry if it doesn't work for ya, but I think it makes a bit of sense. And thanks for all the lovely things said about that scene. (:**

**School. This is the morning chapter. There will be more, way more, but it isn't going to play out how you all are thinking. Sorry. Just…beware and enjoy! Any questions, shoot 'em to me. I love answering them. **

**Read this carefully. There are conversations in their minds and a vision. Take your time. **

MAX

"Hey, Fang, nice ride!"

"Yeah, and the car's nice, too," another snickers.

I switch my bagel to one hand to give them the finger. "Clever."

_Fucking idiots, _Fang thinks, and I glance at him. I offer him a piece of my bagel.

"Those guys were in PE freshman year," I say. "Remember? They liked you."

_They liked you more._

Fang wraps an arm around my waist as we lean against his car, waiting for Aaron to get to school. I'd told him that we could just go in without him, but Fang was serious about playing nice. Kind of like I'd been serious about the waffles.

They had been some damn good waffles, too.

A car pulls up, about to pull into the space beside Fang's, and Iggy kicks his backpack over in between the lines of the vacant spot. He shrugs apologetically in the direction of the car, and the kid mouths something nasty and hateful. _What a vocabulary. _Not like Iggy can see it.

"Saving spots is against school rules," another kid shouts, observing this from the row of cars parked behind us. Fang snagged a nice spot today, in the very front row, right up against the sidewalk leading to the school.

Iggy sneers in the kids direction. "Tell on me."

"Ig, don't be a bully," I mumble, finishing the last of my second breakfast.

The next car that tries is Aaron, and his windows are cranked down and some kind of rock music is blasting through his speakers.

"Hey, move the bag, ya - jerk!" He changes his insult at the last second, his eyes landing on Nudge right next to me. Ella laughs, grabbing Iggy's backpack and pulling it to safety. Nudge rolls her eyes.

"He always censors himself around me," she says to me, grinning.

"Look who's with him," I mutter to Fang, touching his wrist. He looks down at me for a second before glancing at Aaron's car. Emily is climbing out of his passenger side. "And he has the nerve to criticize _our _relationship."

"Hey, Emily," I say, trying for _nice_. I don't think I'm quite there, because Fang elbows me. Emily smiles, then falls into easy conversation with Ella, who's always been better at making small talk than me. Go figure.

Aaron stops in front of us, looking at me calculatingly before looking at Fang.

"On again?" Fang asks with a tilt of his head.

Aaron rubs the back of his neck. "Eh, yeah. We hung out yesterday… I don't know, it just happened."

I force myself not to roll my eyes. Emily was sweet, and there was nothing blatantly wrong with her, but she was not for Aaron. The fact that they fight every other day and break up each week is testament to that. Aaron knows Emily isn't the one, but I'm almost 95% sure that he keeps her around because she's willing to go _almost _all the way with him.

_Yowch, _Fang thinks to me. _That's low. _

I sigh, leaning against him. _I didn't… mean it like that. _

_So he has fun with her, leave him alone. Emily probably is on the same page - otherwise they would've fallen apart a long time ago._

I look at Fang, kind of appalled that he's standing up for Aaron. I mean, Aaron said some really out-of-line shit to me, whether he meant it or not.

_Oh, like what you just said? _Fang thinks, staring at me with a clear look of challenge. _Sometimes people say shit just to hurt each other. Aaron didn't mean it. You know that. _

Yeah. I do. Even worse, I think I know what he _did _mean, too. My mom's theory on the matter has only made me internally judge myself even more. I'm not qualified for this level of deep thinking.

There's a sharp pain deep in my skull and then I'm snapped out of reality for a second.

"_Stop! You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!" she screeches. I can't feel anything, so I don't stop. _

"_Get away from me, Max," I grumble, my voice way calmer than my mind at this point. _

"_Why?" she calls, still coming after me. "Fang, you're hurt and it's getting bad out here, stop moving!" _

_She's right about one thing; the rain is coming down really hard now. _

"_Because I will hurt you if you don't get away from me!" I shout. She's right behind me, and I shove her back just to prove my point. _

"_Don't fucking shove me!" she says. _

_I do it again, then, so hard that she falls back into the mud. It doesn't look like she's hurt - not physically anyways. My head throbs. I keep seeing Max and then Evelyn, Max, Evelyn, Max, Evelyn - and if this is like the other time, then I know soon they'll merge together and I won't be able to control myself. _

_I'm not in control._

_It's fucking terrifying. _

"_Stay away from me, Max. I fucking mean it."_

_She stares at me, still on the ground._

"_And don't follow me."_

The warning bell rings, giving us five minutes to get to our classes.

Fang's fingers run across the small of my back and he says, "What did you just see?"

I swallow. My mind is racing; I don't even have time to think about what I just saw. "Nothing."

Fang is not fooled.

We head inside, Aaron saying he'll catch up soon. Immediately Goodwin is at our side, pulling Fang away. She says something about a meeting with the principal about "reinstating himself into school life." Fang kisses my cheek and is off.

"Where's Fang?"

I don't answer Aaron when he walks up. I promised Fang I wouldn't fight about it but - Fang isn't here, and I'm riled up, big time.

Aaron rolls his eyes. "Ig, where's Fang?"

"Fang has a meeting with his counselor and the principal this morning about 'reinstating himself into school life.' Max was kindly not invited."

"Whatever. He can handle himself."

Or, I am praying he can.

Aaron sighs, obviously suffocating in the tension apparent between us. "This is ridiculous. Listen, I know I pissed you off-"

I spin on him, looking up at him. I'm the genetically-altered mutant, and _I _have to look up at _him_. Gah.

"You didn't piss me off," I say. "You hurt me. There's a difference."

Aaron has the gall to look to Iggy and Ella for help. Iggy shrugs, leaning against the lockers next to mine. "There _is _a difference. Trust me."

Aaron raises an eyebrow at him for a split second and then continues, "As I was saying, I know that I upset you, but…I'm not going to apologize."

I slam my locker closed. "Then we're done here?"

His eyes narrow. Maybe I'm not being fair, but I don't know what he wants me to say. If he has a point, he needs to make it.

"No. Hold on."

I look up at him as if it is taking all of my effort not to spit. Aaron notices, but dutifully ignores my attitude. Shocking how quickly he got used to it - then again, we'd been around each other for three solid years now.

"I meant what I said. I'm worried about you guys. I'm sorry that the comment probably came off as an accusation-"

"_Came off _that way?" I scoff. "Own up, Aaron. We're all big kids."

"Fine. I'm sorry that I accused you, it was out of line."

This is Aaron. This guy has been around for everything in the past three years - _everything_. He was there when Fang disappeared, he followed me to get Fang back, and he found his way into every single step before, between, and after that ordeal.

I don't need to sugarcoat it with Aaron.

So I don't.

"Yeah, that _was _out of line," I say. "For you to even say that…_God_, I want to throttle you."

"Okay, fine, warranted, whatever," Aaron says, shaking his head. "But…you know what I mean. It's not…you shouldn't…God, how are you even-"

I quirk one eyebrow. "You had all weekend to think of something to say and this articulate monologue is what you landed on?"

Aaron is ready to throttle _me _now. Ella is grinning to my left, but trying her damnedest to hide it.

"You're being a bitch," Aaron says, his eyes hard. He puts his hand up. "And don't act all shocked and wounded because I _know _you're doing it on purpose." 

I close my mouth. Whatever.

"I'm worried about you, Max. If that makes me a bad friend then oh fucking well."

I raise an eyebrow and lower my voice. "Worried about _what_? If _you're _mad about _my _sex life, we have a way bigger problem right now."

"Oh, don't start that shit with me right now," Aaron says, laughing a bit despite his frustration. "This is not jealousy. I can barely handle you as a friend, let alone as a fucking _girlfriend_."

"Watch it," Iggy warns quietly. His body and sightless eyes are facing the other side of the commons, but he's fully tuned in to this argument. Ready to jump in when necessary, I guess for either of us. As far as Iggy is concerned, one of us will take it too far somehow, and he wants to be there to stop WWIII.

Aaron takes a second. While he calms down, I say quietly, "I'm trying to do my best here so - jeez, Aaron, I really don't need you telling me that I'm not helping. That I'm hurting him. That I'm _using him_." My voice cracks.

Aaron looks at me. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Well that's how it came out!"

"Stop," Iggy groans in annoyance, slipping between us. "Listen, so he slipped up. That's not what this is about, not really. So get over it."

He turns at Aaron, then, and takes a deep breath. "Dude, maybe you don't get why they do it this way, mixing therapy and romance, but they _do _and it's working. Even you have to admit he's getting better. Even if they don't do everything perfect, it's a process, man. Can we all just get over it? Like fighting is helping _anything_."

"Well, aren't you insightful," I mumble after a second. The bell rings and we're all late - a great start to the day. Iggy stands there for a second longer before taking Ella's hand and stalking off. Nudge had split from our group the minute we were inside, and I hope that means that she got to class on time. I turn to walk away, but Aaron stops me.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I don't…I don't get it. I saw what he did to Nudge and it's hard to imagine that two different people live inside his head right now. I'm worried about you, Max. I really am."

I bite my cheek.

"And I'll back off, because Ig's right and you're handling this better than any of us can. If anyone can do something to help, it's you. But God - if he crosses the line…"

"He won't," I say, not even letting him finish. My vision is sitting right there, in the back of my mind, nagging, _Aaron's right. Aaron's right this time, Max. _

It's seven thirty in the morning and my day is already shit. I have no idea if Fang's still in his meeting with the counselor or not. Thankfully, our mental connection will work all day. I don't know what I'm so worried about. He did fine at the party. He'll be fine now. I can talk to him in my mind whenever I want, and he'll see Aaron later. He'll be _fine_.

"But _if _he does."

"He won't, Aaron. And besides, have I ever let anyone walk over me before? If he crosses that line, then I'll cross it right back. I can handle myself, and I can handle him."

Even as I say it, I'm thinking about my vision. I hate this. I hate every part of this.

Aaron does not look convinced. "Things change."

Yeah, they really do.

**A/N: Max and Aaron are not completely a-okay, yet. But Rome wasn't built in a day. Second half of Fang's first day is coming soon.**

**What the hell was that vision? I already know what's going to happen, but I'd love to hear what you guys have to say. **

**Review please! We have 116 right now! If we can get to 125 we'll see part 2 **_**real **_**soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: You guys definitely delivered my reviews - and then some! Here's another chapter to show my love. And, go check out my new Eggy one-shot (inspired by and dedicated to the lovely kateflowrchild13). Thanks, loves.**

**It's about midnight here and I have school tomorrow, so I will have to refrain, once again, from responses. Sorry! **

**Thanks to: Faxlover, Hagbre5498, KLoves2Read, Resisting-Moonlight, flytothemax97, pancakes-for-you (twice), WithoutWings, Flygrrl, awesomealpha11, Nola96, Stormchase, kateflowrchild13, and FaxFiction. YOU ALL OWN EQUAL-SIZED PIECES OF MY HEART. **

MAX

"Max, you're late."

I slap my yellow late pass down on my first hour teacher's desk and turn to walk to my seat, muttering, "Bite me." I think he hears but he doesn't say anything and I count that as a score for me.

First hour is Geography and I loathe Geography, so I don't really pay attention. I mean, sure, I try (kind of) but my mind keeps going back to my vision.

"_You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!"_

What the hell does that mean? He's hurting himself? Like, on purpose or unknowingly? My stomach rolls at the thought of either of those scenarios. If it resorts to self-harm then I really won't know how to deal with that. And if it's unknowingly, that means he's so far gone that he can't feel it. Which is a little scarier, but not by much.

"_I'm not in control. It's fucking terrifying."_

Oh, Fang. It's so unfair that he has to feel that way.

And, of course, _"Don't fucking shove me!"_

I guess Mom was wrong. Caught in one of Fang's meltdowns, I won't be his girlfriend and I won't be his therapist. I'll be his best friend, standing there, smacking him back into his place when he goes too far.

This is slightly comforting, but not much.

I shove the vision out of my head. Not much I can do about it now, anyways. Besides, if Fang sees it in my mind, it'll only set us back.

I force myself to pay attention. Can't hurt, right?

After class, I head to math, totally ready to go home and sleep the rest of the week away. In my math class, two girls are talking quietly near me as I take my seat. The bell hasn't rung yet, and I can't help but overhear them while I take out my phone to check for a text. Of course he hasn't texted me. Because he's fine.

"Yeah, I was surprised to see him at Aaron's on Friday," one girl, Katherine, says softly. "But he was fine then. And he was in my first hour today."

"That seems kind of soon, but good for him," another girl says sympathetically. "I mean, he must be doing well, considering, if he's already back in school."

I roll my eyes. It's not like they're being hurtful, so it shouldn't really bother me. Plus, they don't really know what they're talking about so I don't know why I really care what people are saying. People are going to gossip. Fang's dilemma was on the news for weeks - _The Tragic Kidnapping That Tore the Flock Apart: Finally Justice _and all that bullshit.

"I just feel so bad for him," Katherine says.

"I know. There's no way they'll ever be the same. It's kind of sweet how Max is staying with him, you know? I don't know if I could do it."

I grit my teeth. _That's because the most meaningful relationship you've ever had with something other than yourself is with your iPhone, idiot_.

_Pump the brakes. _

I jump. I sink into my seat, relaxing, and think, _Hey. How's going on?_

_Besides the fact that five people in counting have told me that they're here for me if I need to talk, great, _he thinks to me.

I snicker. _That's…nice. _

_Some people are managing to pretend things are normal, so that's good. _

I sigh. Yes, that is good. The one horrible thing about everyone laying the sympathy on thick? It doesn't do much to help Fang forget. Every time someone offers to be his shoulder to cry on, he remembers he has a reason to cry. Figuratively. It was a metaphor, okay?

_No it wasn't. _

_What? That was so a metaphor. _

_I'm in Contemporary Literature right now, Max. No it wasn't. _

I smile. He's fine. God, why were we even worried about this? Fang is stronger than anyone gives him credit for, including me.

_Hey, it's roast beef for lunch today. _

_Don't say shit to get me excited in public. _

I laugh out loud at that. All eye look at me and I quickly look down at my phone, as if reading a text or something _normal_. The bell rings. With reassurance that Fang isn't having a mental breakdown in his classes, I'm able to halfway focus on note-taking. I kind of have to be serious about school this time around. It's hard, but I don't have a big excuse to skip out anymore. Lame.

• • •

The day goes on without a hitch. Besides the sympathy emanating off of everyone we come in contact with, the awkward silence between Aaron and I all day, and the anxiety that is still rolling in my belly due to my vision, things are great. Lunch comes and goes, and it's the last hour of the day.

I'm sitting in Physics, taking a test that is _kicking my ass_, when it happens. I'm chomping on a piece of gum gifted to me by Nudge in the hallway as a "Good luck on your test" present, trying to figure out the distance traveled by an airplane before take-off when Fang appears, _bam!_, right there beside my desk.

So, naturally, I swallow my gum.

I start choking, which draws all attention to me. Well, the attention that hadn't already been drawn toward the boy who _appeared out of thin air_.

"Uh…"

I raise my hand, eyeing my teacher. I'm still choking, and so I point to myself, Fang, and the door. My teacher is so fucking confused all she can say at this point is yes.

I shoot up from my desk and follow Fang outside. Conveniently, there is a nearby drinking fountain. I run over and swallow a mouthful, washing the gum down my throat.

"What the hell?" I wheeze. "Thanks."

Fang just stares at me. He doesn't look panicked or upset; he looks mad. "Are you okay?"

I nod, still panting. "Yeah. And you just saved me from failing a Physics test. Go you."

Fang frowned. "You talked to Aaron, didn't you? You stirred the pot?"

I literally have to exert energy not to physically stomp my foot.

"Uh! Not fair, he brought it up! What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, Fang told me not to talk about this with you?' "

Fang raises an eyebrow, like, _Why wouldn't that have worked?_

I snort. "Because. He told me he was not going to apologize. I mean, the fucking _nerve…_"

He points a finger at me. "You didn't deserve those waffles. Now he's pissed, saying he doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't want it to get any worse."

I shrug. "Good. So just don't talk about it."

Fang clenches his jaw and looks away. For some reason, he doesn't want to just let this one go. Maybe it's fighting for our honor, but I have no idea. He isn't really thinking about that at the moment.

"Who's Patrick?" I ask, digging nosily in his thoughts. "Why did you teleport to me?"

"I had to get out of there. The teacher is a hard-ass and won't let anyone leave unless it's life or death, and…if that idiot kept talking I was going to start something I couldn't finish."

I frown. "What did he say?"

"He and some other guy were joking about you. I mean, about you…getting around…when I was gone."

My jaw drops. "I don't even know anyone named Patrick! And you _know _that I haven't been with anyone else! You have first-hand proof!" I end in a hiss.

"I know," Fang says calmly. "I know it was all bullshit. I think I would know if you'd done some of the things they'd talked about. You definitely wouldn't have been so freaked out by me eating you out, that's for sure-"

"Fang! Oh, my _God_!" I slap his arm, looking around. "Don't say that out loud!"

"See, I knew they were lying."

I make a face at him. "Gross."

"Still, it was a bad mental image. And I just wanted to-"

I watch his face.

"It's fine. Good job not attacking them. I don't think it would've helped." I pull my phone out of my pocket. "We've got ten minutes until the release bell. Let's go."

We end up sitting under the stairs in the deserted cafeteria, sharing a single-serve size of chips from the vending machine. Once the bell rings, we have to go get our stuff from our classrooms, but for now we just sit side-by-side, silent, and eat.

I wonder for a second if we'll get in trouble for running out of class, but I think since it's Fang's first day back we'll get a free pass. And, it's not like we left the campus or anything. We only left for about ten minutes - a really, really long bathroom break. Or, a trip to the nurse.

The bell rings and we venture into the halls, moving toward my room first. I apologize for the interruption to the test, but she shakes it off. She tells me I can finish my test tomorrow, which rocks. I grab my backpack and we scoot, running into Iggy and Ella on the way.

"Hey!" Iggy calls. "I know I'm blind, but I think the parking lot is this way!"

"We gotta get Fang's stuff. Coming?"

He and Ella join us. On the way into Fang's classroom, we see some guys hanging around in the back. Aaron's still there, too, sitting next to Fang's stuff. No teacher to be found.

"Hey, Fang, man," one of the guys says. I can see on Fang's face that this lovely human being is Patrick.

Oh, shit, shit, _shit_.

"Just up and disappeared on us," the other kid says, standing up. Aaron picks up Fang's with one hand and tosses it to him, then shoots a look at me. _Let's get him out of here, now, _is pretty clear on Aaron's face.

I grab Fang's hand. "Let's go."

"Did you think about the offer, man?" Patrick says, stepping around us. "How do you feel about _sharing_?"

He makes _sharing _sound like a very unsafe word. As we try to push by, he makes the mistake of grabbing my wrist. It's after school, there are no teachers around, and I'm pissed.

I judo-flip him.

"_Jesus_, Max," Aaron says in exasperation, looking around for witnesses.

"When has it _ever _been okay to touch me?" I sneer, getting down in Patrick's face.

"Never," Iggy says offhandedly behind me.

"Now," I continue, directing it to the pig on the ground, "I'm not going to beat you up because I'm trying not to get sent to the principal's office for violence and I don't think you'd like to be pummeled by a girl. But if you so much as look at me or my family the wrong way, I'll tear you up. Then I'll _really _be fun company."

I let go of him and he lies on the ground, still and shocked. I step over him and reach out for Fang's hand.

"Coming?"

Fang glowers at me, but takes my outstretched hand. We get the hell out of there.

I can tell Fang is beating himself up, so I say, "Hey. It's fine. You don't have to stand up for me. You've never had to."

Fang shakes his head. "The difference is now I _can't_."

And then I realize what this is about. Fang is not 100%. Fang didn't refrain from taking down those guys because he has amazing self-restraint - it was because he knew he couldn't. He's out of practice. He hasn't fought in years. He's too weak.

I swallow. Once we reach his car, where most of the others are waiting by now, I say, "Like I said, I don't need you to."

Fang's eyes lock on mine, full of fire. "Well, like _I _said, that's not the problem. The problem is the next time someone is talking about _fucking my girlfriend_, I want to be able to do something about it!"

This explosion is quite public, and the flock watches us with big eyes. Some bystanders stare, too, even if they're trying to be subtle.

"Okay," I say roughly, staring at him until he looks away. If he wants to learn how to fight again, he'll learn how to fight.

Like I haven't taught him before?

**A/N: Who knows what happens next? (It's not that hard to guess, really). **

**Thanks for reading! Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So, I've read the four page excerpt for **_**Maximum Ride Forever, **_**JP's ninth MR book. I have to say…I don't want to read it. I'm scared to read it. **

**But I'll probably read it. **

**I'm sorry this update is so randomly late. And I'm sorry that I can't promise any kind of schedule. Hope you enjoy! **

**It's so weird. Literally two hours ago I was staring at this chapter, trying desperately to make it reach at least 1500 words. And now…Well. **

**flytothemax97: We'll see the vision play out, in due time. Thank you!**

**Guest: You don't have to, anymore!**

**WingedArcher01: Well, I certainly hope so!**

**Pancakes-for-you: Yeah, Jeb is pretty BA if you think about it. I've always loved that about Jeb's character. Max doesn't trust him, but he is so immune to her bullshit. And, bonus, he could totally hold his own in a fight because he **_**taught **_**her. Pretty awesome. Thanks for the wonderful, half-coherent reviews!**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: I always have so much trouble typing your name. Haha! Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU. Hope you enjoy. **

**PolkadottedPandas: I'm glad you liked that little snippet of fax banter. I typed that, looked at it, deleted it, and then I was like, "I **_**have **_**to put that in there." Glad someone appreciated it. You're close, but they don't spar in this chapter. Not **_**yet**_**. Read on! **

**Faxlover: HERE. Thanks, dear! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: There will be tension galore, trust me. Thank you so much!**

**KLoves2Read: Yeah, the only thing worse than having something bad happen to you is having everyone treat you like glass. Sympathy is great, don't get me wrong, and some people just don't know how else to respond, but sometimes it really doesn't help. And as for your request…duly noted. ;)**

**Hagbre5498: Glad you, also, noticed my roast beef comment. I was pretty tickled by it myself. I wish I could judo-flip people, too. I'd be so badass. And thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!**

**Nola96: Yeah, his physical therapy is up next and…it'll be just as hard as the emotional was. Then again, his emotions are not yet 100%, so…gah! Just wait, it will all be cleared up. Trust me, the meltdown **_**will **_**happen. And Fang is such a goof. Thank you so much.**

**Faxfiction: Yeah…yeah. You pretty much have it down-pat, my friend. You just…**_**get me**_**. Ha! Thank you for reading and I'm so sorry that I haven't had time to sit down and read your other stories…but I will not allow myself to read them and not review. It's torture, trust me. To know that quality fics are sitting on this site and I'm not reading them…gah. I will get there. I **_**will**_**. Thank you so much!**

**Stormchase4533: You got an account! Yay! I'm glad it was unexpected and that you liked it! I wanted Fang's first day to be…unpredictable. None of them saw that coming, and neither did I, until I wrote it. Ha! Thank you so much!**

**Flygrrl: That makes me so happy. You have no idea. I'm so glad you like it and thanks for the constant support. You're a superstar. **

**maximumpotter: STAHP. Every time you compliment my OCs my ego grows like three sizes. Haha! But seriously, I am so glad you love this story. I was very iffy about writing it, but FaxFiction kicked me in the butt, and I do not regret posting it at all. This story is going to end up probably being the size of **_**Risks**_**, if not more, and I am really glad so many of you like it. As for the shower scene…yes, this is really me. Haha. I know, I know…I'm a new person to many people now. Thank you for reading and for leaving long, well-thought out reviews! I know how much effort it takes and I really appreciate it. **

**WithoutWings: Thank you, ma'am! Read ahead and see if you're right… **

**Thank you so very much. **

MAX

"He wants to be able to stand up for you," Iggy says, shrugging.

"Well, why? I mean, he doesn't have to. I can stand up for myself!" I insist. I'm not really whispering, but I don't care. Fang's in the shower upstairs and my mind is carefully blocked.

"Some guys were talking about you?" Nudge asks softly.

I say, "Yeah."

Nudge's eyes widen. "Did he get in trouble?"

I shake my head. "He didn't start anything. Which is good. That would've been the worst case scenario."

Iggy sighs. "The worst case scenario was Fang running away, and Mother Max coming back to kick their asses. Oh, _wait_-"

"That's so-"

"I don't care. It's still how it is. Think about it, Max. Whether you needed him to or not, Fang's always been there to stand up for you, protect you. Now it doesn't matter if he has to or if you want him to or _whatever_. It doesn't matter. He just can't."

I swallow, letting that sink it. It was wrong and stupid but it was true.

"Then…I think I'm going to start training him."

"What?" Nudge demands. "Are you _kidding_?"

"Max, that is a bad idea," Iggy says lowly, tapping his fingers on the countertop.

"He wants to feel strong again. I can help him. I've trained him before. Who better to teach him?"

"Um, _anyone_!" Nudge insists. "First you're his girlfriend, then his therapist, now his personal trainer? Are you _nuts_?"

"It's like…pointing a loaded gun at a war veteran," Iggy continues. I frown.

"What would you suggest I do?" I hiss. "You aren't supposed to enable someone with a problem. Okay? Making him comfortable is only a temporary fix and none of you have to deal with the mental stuff, but I do."

Nudge looks away from me. Iggy still looks really unhappy about my idea.

The shower shuts off upstairs, and we all stop talking as if we're about to get caught. Nudge pulls out some homework at the kitchen table and I continue chewing my lip nervously, thinking about what I'm about to try to do, while Iggy raids the fridge.

I groan, still internally arguing with myself, then move upstairs. Fang is already dressed, rubbing his towel over his hair.

"Hey," I say quietly, closing the door.

Fang looks at me, acknowledges me quietly.

"Uh, how do you casually ask your boyfriend if he wants to fight?" I say, sitting on the bed. Fang looks at me.

"I know what you're trying to do. Don't."

I chew on the side of my cheek. "It'll be fun. Like old times."

"Nothing is 'like old times' anymore," Fang says quietly. "You know that."

I cross my arms. All I can think of is all the things that have felt normal since he came home. Our entire relationship is getting closer and closer to being how it used to be. "I think we're on totally different levels right now."

"Maybe we are," Fang says shortly. "I'm going to Aaron's."

"Okay, every time you get pissy, you can't just run off to Aaron's house."

"What are you going to do, _ground me_?" Fang snarls, but I know he doesn't mean it because he clenches his jaw right after he says it. He didn't mean to say that. Doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off.

There's that Mother Max thing Iggy was talking about. No way he was right, no way this is seriously just about Fang's masculinity…right?"

"Might I remind you that Aaron is the one who-"

"Who what?" Fang demands. "You know - I don't want to do this with you right now."

I gape at him. "Do what? _Talk _to me? Yeah, God forbid that happen."

He doesn't take the bait.

"You've been like this since I flipped Patrick, but, _damn,_ Fang, if you won't let me help you and you won't let me stand up for myself then I really don't know what I'm allowed to do here."

Fang shoots me a hard look. "I never said you couldn't stand up for yourself. I never said that you couldn't help me. But no, Max, I don't feel like letting you beat me up. I don't think it'll make me feel better."

"Fang, I'm not going to beat you up. I know you're out of practice -"

"Just stop!"

He doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't have to. I know. I know what's going on now. And maybe if I were in his shoes, I'd get it… But I'm not, and I don't.

"Is this about your _reputation_? Hate to break it to you, but I've always been a better fighter than you."

"That's a lie," Fang says, and I want to laugh but he is _dead serious_. Maybe that's why this conversation is so upsetting. "I used to be strong enough to _snap your neck _if I wanted to, in just one flick of my fucking wrist, Max."

I stare at him.

"Things are different. I know that sucks. I know…but I can't do anything about it, can't solve it all at once. Tomorrow, we can spar or something. But right now-"

I look at my socked feet. "Have fun. Tell Aaron I said hi."

Fang sighs, sounding relieved - either that our conversation is not turning into a real fight tonight, or that I'm not forcing him to spar with me ASAP.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

He presses a quick kiss to my forehead and thinks, _Sorry. _

I smile at him and think, _Don't be. _And I'm really not mad at him, because I see in his mind where he's coming from, now. And it kind of breaks my heart.

It isn't about his reputation, it's about his dignity - and trust me, they are different. He doesn't give a shit if all the kids in our school think he can't do anything or protect anyone - _he _needs to know that he can protect the others and me, _always_. This isn't for any of those guys, this is for _him_.

But he knows its going to be hard and he knows that we're going to fight and torment each other. It is not going to be easy, retraining him. Which is probably why he wants a night to sit around at Aaron's.

Aaron…who'll probably tell him that he should put a stop to all of this, pronto.

Guh.

• • •

"I don't understand physics," I mumble to the universe, shoving my textbook off my lap. I look up to see Iggy, Holden and Gazzy strategically holding things behind their backs as the walked through the living room.

"What are you doing?" I demand, narrowing my eyes.

"Nothing," they chime together. I smile on the inside; they haven't conspired anything diabolical in a while. Surely Gazzy's been missing his partner in crime; high school really changed their relationship. Iggy was with Fang, Aaron and I more than he was with Gazzy. And when he was here, Gazzy and Emma were off, creating their own adventures. Not to mention Holden, who has a completely different set of friends at school, and barely comes around for down-time.

"Don't get hurt!"

"Okay," they respond again.

"I mean it!"

They scurry out the door and I look down at my textbook lazily. I know if I really wanted to, I could text Aaron. Aaron rocks at physics, _and _he took the test today. I chew my lip.

My phone chimes and I lean over to glance at the notification. "Speak of the devil…"

_Don't wait up for him. -Aaron_

I frown.

_Is everything okay? -Max_

Physics completely forgotten, I move into the kitchen and start cutting up an orange while I wait. Then I eat my orange while I wait.

Then I throw away the orange peels. Grab a bottle of water and chug it. Ask the girls if they want to eat anything. Consider doing my physics again.

Aaron never answers me.

_What could possibly keep him out all night _and _keep Aaron from answering me? _It wouldn't be drugs. I know this for a fact, because even Aaron isn't that stupid. If everyone's afraid our relationship will become an unhealthy escape, he definitely wouldn't give Fang any of that crap.

No, that isn't it.

So, what? Now I really want to know if Emily's there, if any of her friends are with her. And as I'm staring at the screen of my phone, wondering how you casually ask some girl you don't even like if your boyfriend is spending quality time in her company, my phone dies and the screen goes dark. And I'm staring at myself in the reflection of my phone.

Who _am _I right now? I throw my phone onto the couch cushion beside me and cover my face, groaning. I am not even going to go there.

Aaron told me not to worry about him, so I won't. Whatever is going on isn't nearly as bad as what I'm imagining, I'm sure.

"Nudge!"

After a second, I hear Nudge's bedroom door open.

"What?"

"Come distract me from my physics homework!"

The girls file downstairs, Emma blowing on her nails as they dry.

"Is that all you want distraction from?" Angel asks, too informed for her own good. I glower at her, pulling her onto the couch with me.

"No. Now put in a movie and grab that throw blanket."

Angel smirks and cuddles up to me while Nudge chooses a movie.

_It'll be okay, Max._

I sigh, resting my cheek against Angel's curls for a moment.

_That's what they keep telling me. _

• • •

There's a soft grunt in my ear, and then I'm not on the couch.

"Fuck, you're heavy."

Even in my half awake state, I have to force myself not to say _You're a pansy. _He's carrying me, actually _carrying _me up the stairs. And though it isn't as effortless as it used to be, it's manageable and he doesn't drop me.

Or, at least, he doesn't drop me until he gets me to our bed. He drops me there, and I groan and curl up on top of the covers.

Fang sighs and crawls onto the bed with me. I feel fingers on the buttons of my jeans and reach down tiredly to help him, but he pushes my fingers away. _So freaking bossy_. As he scoots backwards, pulling my jeans off while he goes, I reach up and start half-consciously pushing off my panties.

"Would you stop?" he grumbles, taking both of my wrists authoritatively and putting them at my sides. I sigh and decide to just let him do it.

He ignores my underwear and lifts my arms, pushing my shirt up. I open my eyes, blinking. The cold air on my skin has woken me up a bit.

"What? Are you already immune to my charms?" I ask sarcastically as he throws my shirt to the floor.

"What? Max, you're gorgeous," he mumbles. "And I'm not immune. But it's one in the morning and I'm not having sex with you. I'm just getting you ready for bed."

I nod. "That's fine, I was just wondering."

Fang rolls his eyes. I lever myself up and unclasp my bra from behind my back, tossing it to the floor with my shirt. Then I wiggle and get myself under the covers, curling up. Fang watches me, his eyes narrowed slightly.

"What? That thing is not comfortable," I mumble.

Fang resorts to name-calling. "Temptress."

Then he drops his jeans and I groan, rolling over to face the other way. "_Me_? Are you kidding? You're evil."

He chuckles quietly and slips into bed behind me and pulling me into the curve of his body. I sigh, bringing the still-chilly sheets and blankets around us tightly, and let his arm hold me around the waist.

We lay in silence, long enough for the clock to read 2:45. We have about four hours before we have to get up, and I'm lying still in Fang's arms, half-awake. Sleep is slowly tugging at me, but it's always hard for me to go back to sleep twice in one night. As soon as I'm on the brink of reality and subconscious, I hear softly:

"What changed, Max?"

It takes me a second to decide if that was in a dream or really Fang. I slowly roll over to face him, blearily opening my eyes. If he's surprised I'm awake, he doesn't show it.

"Fang…"

"I don't mean today…or a week ago…or when I got home," Fang murmurs. His voice is so low and soothing it feels like a dream. I reach out to make sure he's really there, in the flesh. My hand touches his abdomen and his hand clasps mine and pulls me close. I sigh and relax against him.

"I mean…before any of this even started," he says, his fingers canvassing the surface of my hips and stomach. "Before Itex…Before our powers…"

I close my eyes, make myself think back that far. "Do you have a specific _day_?" I ask, almost mockingly, but I'm not quite sure I'm awake enough to execute it properly.

"I do," Fang breathes. "We were in…Hawaii…"

My breath stops for a second. I can barely hear him, but I hear that, and I wonder what has him thinking about that. I open my eyes.

"And after everything… every time I ever tried and you rejected me… that time you didn't."

_What changed? _

My first answer is I don't know. I have no idea. But Fang wants an answer, and I can see why. Things changed, big time, for us on that mission. And though there was no set moment when I made the decision, and it was more a gradual transition, it still happened. Why?

I remember how it had seemed that blow after blow was rolling in. In the same twenty-four hours, I'd lost my mom and Nudge. That alone had been enough to render me totally sunk. Then there had been the fact that another evil person was after us, planning and plotting. Along with the constant "save-the-world" weight on my shoulders, I had been _such a mess_…

Then there was Fang. I remember the smallest things he'd done, the littlest touches and simplest words that had made it bearable. The way he somehow seemed to make hope out of thin air, make it a little easier for me to breathe again.

"Everything," I mumble after a really long time. "Everything changed. Not between us, but everything on the outside changed. And everything sucked and nothing was going right, but… You were still there, still had my back. The fact that you had endured me even at my worst…that you had put up with my attitude and anger and fear about a relationship…and yet you still put yourself through it. I mean, you gave your whole heart to me before I even knew I wanted it…"

My throat hurts with the effort of holding back my tears. I take in a couple breaths, waiting for the urge to pass, but it doesn't. I swallow, hard, and power through it.

"You didn't give up on me. I knew that my life would go to shit, we'd be put through hell and back…but you'd be there through all the suffering. And if you couldn't fix it… you'd still be there with me, backing me up, until the very end."

Fang doesn't say anything right away. Whether that was the answer he wanted or not, it's out there now. He sighs against my cheek.

"I'm sorry," he confides softly. "I'm sorry I can't fix this right now."

I feel a tear start in the corner of my eye, travel over my nose, and drop onto his arm. He pulls me closer and I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling him so close that he becomes a part of me.

"But I'll suffer with you," Fang whispers. "Until I…figure it out."

I should really say something, to take that guilt from his voice. I should console him. But I can't, I can only cry, maybe because I've barely cried since he came home and my body has decided now's the time. Fang shushes me, holds me, but I feel terrible and so I think to him, _I don't blame you, it isn't your fault…_

_I love you, I love you, I love you…_

And he just holds me while I fall apart. He holds me, just like I always knew he would, and he brushes away tears and soothes my grief and I realize that's the reason I fell in love with him in the first place.

**A/N: Well…thoughts? **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Not much to say and ZERO time to chat. But I did want to spoil ya, since I've been MIA for a very long time.**

**Max and Fang get their turn of fighting and saying some pretty messed up shit to each other. Just a warning.**

**Don't worry...they talk it out soon. Except, then the vision comes into play...gah, just read. It's a GD roller-coaster, but I hope you like, anyways.**

MAX

The next two weeks, everything is relatively normal. Fang does well at school, pretty much staying out of trouble, and though he has to keep up his weekly meetings with the counselor, he's fine. From my experience, kids aren't nearly as horrible as they're made out to be in cliché high school movies. So far, that's been right. No one, except for that damn kid Patrick, has been cruel to Fang. I guess it makes sense - some kid get kidnapped and tortured for a year? The last thing anyone with a heart would do is fucking torment him.

Anyways, he's fine. He spends a lot of time at Aaron's…for hours at a time. Sometimes right after school until after midnight, he'll be at Aaron's and I won't hear from either of them. At first, I was worried that he was upset with me and we were growing apart, but I soon realized that wasn't it. As soon as Fang comes home, he's normal around me. Usually he's in a good mood, too, which is great. But… he's also different. Not necessarily in a bad way. Just…different.

We haven't slept together since Aaron's party, haven't done anything else since the shower experience. It's not like I'm complaining, I've just…noticed that, too. I'm sleeping in all my clothes again and Fang's barely sleeping at all. I'll go to bed without him, usually. Then he'll appear in my dream for a while, and when I wake up he'll be gone flying or something.

Nudge said that I was trying to be everything for Fang…but now I don't feel like I'm his trainer, his therapist _or _his girlfriend. Funny how shit changes like that.

It's a Saturday morning when I first notice something is off. Fang's favoring his left side as we get up, even as he lifts his arm gingerly to cup my face when he kisses me. This piques my interest, and I watch him quietly.

"Hey, do you want to go out tonight?" Fang asks. We're hogging the bathroom, much to Emma's irritation. I'm brushing my teeth and Fang's shaving.

"_Go out _go out?" I respond through the foam in my mouth, looking at him through the mirror.

"Yeah," Fang murmurs, carefully moving the blade over his jaw. "Haven't had a date in a while."

Well. _A while _is an understatement. Fang smirks and I lean down to spit in the sink. I'm right and he knows it.

"Do you think we could just…stay here? Have a date here?" I ask. "The idea of having to go out in public tonight…"

Fang pauses his shaving and looks at me. "Yeah."

"Perfect. We can kick everyone out. Order some food and rent a movie?"

Fang nods.

I smile. "Okay. I'm in."

"Good."

I linger, still watching him. His eyes are barely focused on what he's doing, he's so busy looking at me. I grin. "You know, I don't mind the beard."

"Oh, trust me," Fang says quietly. "I know."

I blush, involuntarily remembering how his stubble had felt scratching against my thighs, and blink hard to get my mind away from that dangerous subject.

Yeah. Date night will be good.

Downstairs in the kitchen, I'm still watching him carefully. Whether he was actively trying to distract me or not, it didn't work. He's still moving carefully, stiffly, and I notice. He can't hide from me.

"Everyone should try to make plans tonight," I say casually. "Fang and I are having date night here."

Nudge shrugs. "I have plans with Ella anyways."

Gazzy looks at me with irritation. "Why do we all have to leave?"

I chew my lip, looking at Fang. Fang puts both hands on the counter, leans down so his face is level with Gazzy's, and says, "Do you really want me to answer that?"

The next five seconds are quiet awkward. I busy myself with whipping up some sandwiches for us to take for lunch, not letting anyone see my probably bright red face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gazzy narrow his eyes and stare up at Fang, really thinking on that question. Then, he says decisively, "No."

Fang nods. "Didn't think so." Fang punches his arm and the Gasman punches back, a jab right under Fang's ribs on his left side.

My eyes fly up to Fang's face. His eyes harden, his teeth grit painfully, and he hits Gazzy again, harder. _Meaner_. Gazzy notices this change in their interaction and backs up subconsciously, looking at me nervously.

"Fang."

He looks at me and seems to realize his mistake. "Sorry, man," Fang mumbles, moving stiffly out of the kitchen.

"Fang," I say again, following him into the living room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit it's nothing," I say. "What'd you do to your side?"

"Nothing."

I really think over my options here. In the end, though, I leap forward and yank up his shirt. I choke back a gasp at the yellow and purple bruise on his side, the size of my hand.

"Fang, what…"

I expect him to get mad, maybe defensive. But he doesn't. He calmly takes his shirt from me, lowers it, and says nothing.

And trust me, friends, that is ten times more infuriating.

"What are you hiding from me?" I whisper.

"Nothing, Max, it's just a bruise."

"Just a - wait a minute. You are not getting out of this that easily."

Fang raises an eyebrow, like, _watch me_. But I'm frustrated, and worried, and I'd be lying if I didn't say a little scared. That's a really bad bruise.

"No. Fang… God! When you came back I really didn't think I'd have to worry about you being all secretive, not coming home, showing up with mysterious _marks_-"

Now the defense comes out to play.

"What the _hell _do you think I've been doing?"

I clam up. The first time I've ever gotten nervous fighting with Fang, ever. Probably because I have _no idea _what he's been doing.

"I don't know," I whisper.

"Well it sounds like you have some ideas."

I glare at him. "Yeah, well, you're leaving a lot to the imagination."

"You think I'm lying about being at Aaron's?"

I pause. Do I want to get into this fight right now? Do I really want to do this?

"I don't know," I say, still looking at him. "Are you?"

I don't think either of us know what is coming out of our mouths right now.

"Yeah, Max, I'm actually fucking _cheating _on you," Fang hisses, so the others don't hear. Or, hopefully they don't.

It doesn't matter. The bogus lie bounces around in my head and I feel like he just slapped me. I can't believe something so ridiculous can make me feel so insecure.

"Don't you dare say that," I say hoarsely. "Why would you say that to me?"

Fang rolls his eyes. "Yeah, girl's so hardcore she gives me goddamn bruises!"

I grit my teeth, pushing his shoulders meanly. "Well, how _dare _she mix violence with sex, huh? Sounds like the M.O. of a freakin' _rapist_."

I hate myself for saying that to him, for throwing that incident in his face. I regret it before it's even out of my mouth, but I still spit it at him. It's so stupid, we're fighting over something we both know isn't going on. I really have no idea where he is every night, but I know he isn't cheating on me.

And for me to throw that night in his face like that is a total bitch move. I know it and he knows it. He doesn't say anything. The heat of the moment is gone and we're both harboring serious hurt, unable to even move. I want to apologize but can't. The kitchen is dead quiet, and I have no idea how much of that was overheard.

Since he has the worst timing in the world, Aaron comes barreling through the front door. I glance at him, then do a double take. He has a black eye.

And I fucking get it. It all clicks. I inhale, look at Fang accusingly, and say, "Wow."

He just looks at me.

"It kind of feels like you _are _cheating on me," I say, running my hands down my face. "How messed up is that?"

"Really," Fang says. His eyes are still hard, his body language still closed off. He turns without a word and heads right out the door.

I have a feeling date night is on a temporary hiatus.

**A/N: Review please! I love hearing from y'all!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, for some reason I feel like this chapter sucks and needs an explanation so here goes: **

**1. MAX IS A GD MESS, if you can't tell. She's used to having a plan, having a method, having results. That ain't happening here. So many things are happening at once that she's panicking, worrying, willing to try anything to get things back to normal. That should explain what happens in this chapter. **

**2. I HAVE A PLAN OF ACTION. Okay? This isn't just a random plot twist. Things were never ever going to be fixed at the rate they were going, it just took them all a while to figure it out. **

**3. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE VISION. I understand that the few visions in the trilogy were immediate, usually a day or two after the vision happened. That's not always the case, which you are seeing here. The vision will happen. Some day soon.**

**4. THIS SUCKS, BUT IS NOT A MISTAKE. Max and Fang don't end up regretting this. Spoiler alert. **

**5. WHY IS THIS STORY SO LONG. Gah. It'll probably be longer than **_**Risks**_**. Poop. **

**Read on. You guys are amazing. I don't even think I deserve this shit. **

MAX

The others, hearing Fang exit, slowly filter into the room.

"That happened so fast," Emma says, her eyes wide.

"_What _did he say?" Nudge demands.

I look at her. "He was kidding."

"That's a weird joke," Gazzy says quietly.

I ignore that.

"Can I ask why?" I say to Aaron, my hurt evident in my voice. "Why he wanted to spar with you and not me?"

Aaron's eyes narrow and I know I'm in trouble.

"Yeah. Because you _lied_."

I recoil. It definitely isn't what I'm expecting. "About what?"

"He told me, about when he lost control. Except this time he didn't sugarcoat it. He told me exactly what happened."

I can feel my stomach rolling. Embarrassment and betrayal take root in my stomach and stretch up through me, making me feel sick. I can't believe Fang told Aaron about that night.

"He told you about that?" I whisper.

"You lied to me. I asked you if he'd ever done anything to you like he did to Nudge and you said no! And I freaking trusted you, Max! He's not better, he's not ready to be with you - as a boyfriend or an opponent. He's not even close to being ready. And I told him that."

I huff, pissed. That explains why Fang refused to touch me for the last two weeks.

"You had no right to put that shit in his head!"

Aaron looks flabbergasted. "_You _were the one putting shit in his head! I told him exactly how it was. I brought him back to freaking reality. Things were not better, Max, they were _fake_."

"It's not like that. It hasn't been like that, this whole time, you don't know what goes on between us," I mumble, quietly, so quietly because I don't want everyone to hear this but they are. Oh, they are.

"What he did to you was ten times worse than what he did to Nudge!" Aaron says. "People go to jail for that, Max!"

"It was not like that," I hiss, hoping that if one side of this argument is quiet that it won't tip off the others. No dice.

"What are they talking about?" I hear Gazzy whisper, and now he sounds scared.

"Nothing," I say, swinging around to look at them all. "Go somewhere else, please."

"What did Fang do?" Angel asks. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Angel. Everyone _go_."

They scurry off, everyone but Iggy. Nudge is adamant about staying, too, but Iggy makes her go off with the girls.

"I know that you want everything to be okay right now," Aaron says quietly, touching my shoulder. "But it isn't. Not yet. And pretending it is isn't going to fix anything."

"I'm not pretending! I don't pretend with him! I know things are still fucked up, Aaron! But he's normal around me…" I think about the past few months with Fang home. Yes, he has his moments and lapses of judgment, but for the most part, around me, he is _my Fang _again. Aaron sees our relationship as something fake, something there to cover up the problems, but that isn't it. Fang and I are aware of the problems.

"You tell me truthfully that he didn't force you to do anything and maybe I'll believe that."

I push my hands into my hair, tugging. "Don't…make me talk about this with you."

The sympathy in his eyes makes me want to spit. "Have you talked about it with _anyone_, Max?"

"Yes!" I say. _Fang_, I add in my mind. But he doesn't need to know that. "What Fang told you is probably the embellished version."

"Max…"

I can't deal with this anymore. I put my hands up. "I'm not discussing this anymore. As if I owe any explanation to you at all-"

"I was right!" Aaron says angrily. "I was _right_, this whole time, and you knew it! And you were so fucking scared of me being right that you were willing to try anything to prove me wrong!"

I grit my teeth. "I'm going to say this one time, Aaron."

He takes a breath. I wait for him to exhale completely, his shoulders relaxing, before I continue.

"Fang hasn't ever forced me to do anything I didn't want to do," I say quietly. "Now what does any of this have to do with you two sneaking around behind my back?"

That's it. Take control of the conversation again. Get it the hell away from _that _topic, asap.

He sighs. "He still has episodes. I wasn't going to help him, didn't think he was ready to spar with _anyone_, but he told me about what he did to you and then said that you were going to start training him. That was enough to make me step in."

I snort against my will. "Like you're the person to teach him. God."

Aaron raises an eyebrow at me, irritation clear on his face.

"_Anyways_, one wrong move and he won't be Fang anymore. He'll be completely thrown back into his memories. He gets dangerous. Which is why he didn't want to do any of that with you. He really isn't ready to be practicing at all, but he wants to get better so he's pushing himself."

I study Aaron's black eye. "And that bruise you gave him? What the hell?"

"He snapped. I don't know, it happened really fast. And I warned him, tried to snap him out of it, but when he wouldn't let up I kicked him. Which is when he gave me the black eye."

"One kick, Aaron?"

He sighs. "Okay, a few. He wasn't letting up."

Iggy sits down, letting out a big breath. "I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore."

I sit down on the couch, feeling exhausted despite the fact that it's only eleven. Aaron sits next to me.

"Things need to change, Max."

And he's right and I hate him for it.

• • •

This is how the day ends.

It isn't Fang and I, cuddled up on the couch or sharing a romantic dinner. It isn't the entire flock, enjoying some quality bonding time. It isn't even how the past few nights have been - quiet, ignorant of any underlying issues, and calm.

I would call it an intervention, but the word intervention sounds too ridiculous for what this feels like. Fang and I are sitting on the couch, at the opposite ends. I think the others went to my mom's. Iggy's still here. I couldn't fight that. Aaron wanted to stick around for this, but I refused and kicked them all out. Just…not for the reason I had really wanted to kick them all out.

If I think about why this is so hard, it isn't because we can't function without each other or because we so codependent. I mean, both of those are true, to an extent, but they don't make what I'm doing tough. What makes it tough is knowing that things are about to get really, really hard, and I'm giving up my one anchor to everything real.

When Fang and I are together, it's a visceral experience. It doesn't matter what we're doing, because soon it's like there is no one else in the room, in the house, in the world. It's me and Fang. Our problems don't matter. Nothing else matters.

And it's really hard to give that up.

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.

"…I think you know what happens next."

That's Iggy. Neither of us speak. I think I'm still reeling from everything the day has brought us. I can't believe we were on relatively good terms this morning and now we're here. Then again, we knew it was all going to fall apart sooner or later.

"You two need to take a break," Iggy says quietly. "Whether for two weeks or two months… something needs to be put on the back burner. And it can't be Fang - not anymore."

What is going to get better this way? Is it possible for his health to get better while our relationship falls apart?

"Fang can move into my room," Iggy continues quietly.

This scares me more than any of Fang's episodes have. More than any of his _memories _have. This scares me, because I have no idea how we're going to come out of this one.

But Iggy's right. And I'm only making things worse-

"Get off it, Max. That's bull."

I look at Fang. He's staring right at me, his face void of any feeling. I frown.

"Do you get what happened today?" I demand. "I accused you of _cheating _on me. You want bullshit, there you go. And then we threw horrible words at each other, what I said to you was so out of line…I'm sorry. I… I can't believe I used that against you."

He looks away from me, nodding slightly.

"But…that isn't how we should be. We fight, yeah, and we've always been all-or-nothing fighters… but, Fang, my response this morning was not the right one. And it can't be helping anything."

"I thought you wanted us to act normal," Fang says.

"We need normalcy," I say.

"But there's a difference between acting like everything is fine and following a normal routine," Iggy cuts in. "Listen. You just need to focus on getting better before you keep trying to combine your relationship with therapy sessions. It's unhealthy-"

"So you want to break up?"

"No! God, no," my voice breaks. "I don't…know…that's not what I want to call it. We just need to stop juggling all these roles at once. I'm afraid I'm only making things worse. So…here's what we're going to do."

I take my left hand in my right and wiggle off my ring quietly. When it's loose in my hand, I hesitate, rolling it over and over in my palm, watching the light glint off the diamond. Fuck, this sucks.

"You can keep practicing, with the guys. And everything will be exactly how it has been, but…we're going to hold off on the relationship. Definitely the physical stuff. I think…well, everyone else has convinced me that it will help."

I end quietly. That sounds pathetic and even I think so. But it's true. My mom, Iggy, and Aaron all agree, and have been warning me about this. Yes, for a while, our method was working. But it seemed we had reached a breaking point today. And I'm afraid if we keep trying to balance everything and ignore the little things, our relationship will fall apart for good, with no chance of reconciliation.

I don't even care that Iggy's there. I usually would, but I don't have it in me. I'm so scared, Fang isn't saying anything, I hope to God he can see that I'm doing this for _us_…

"I love you, Fang," I say, hoping that still matters. I lean forward, set my ring on the coffee table with a definitive clank and sink back into the couch. I see Fang lean forward and pick it up and curl it in his fist. He walks off, his feet storming down the hall, and Iggy follows him.

I curl in on myself, hug my legs, and close my eyes.

_What the hell just happened?_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, loves! I just got home from my fourth ten-hour shift in a row and I am pooped. It's time for bed - but I did want to give y'all this first. Next chapter (hopefully up tomorrow) I WILL respond to all reviews, so shoot me some questions! Personal, story-related, future-story-related, random-as-fuck - I DON'T CARE. **

**Thanks! Read on.**

MAX

No matter how much I want to wallow in self-pity, I can't. Everyone comes home within the next hour, and one look at me sends them all into action. I'm immediately enlisted to help Gazzy with his homework and Angel bullies Fang into doing the dishes because "it's totally his turn."

Iggy has decided that dinner is a self-serve tonight, since the main goal is to not force Fang and I into the same room. Which I'm fine with, because I'm sure sooner or later we're going to be constantly near each other. I sit down at the kitchen table, eyeing Gazzy's book bag.

"Okay, what do we have? Math? English?"

I glance up and see him staring at me, his worried eyes trained on my face.

"What are we doin', Gaz?" I snap two fingers in front of his face.

Gazzy looks like he's about to say something but nods and looks down at the textbook between us. "Sorry. Uh, it's not math. I have a science project."

Oh _shit_.

"I am not going to be your test subject and you are not allowed to blow anything up," I spout off immediately.

Gazzy rolls his eyes. "Come on, I'll show you."

Which is how we end up outside.

"Okay, this one is going to work for sure," Gazzy calls. I wait patiently with Emma, who has decided to watch. A second later, a huge freezer bag full of marshmallows crashes to the ground before my feet. I lift it, examine it, and call, "No dice, Gaz! That egg's shot for sure!"

He groans.

His science project is to create a way to drop an egg from the second story of the house without it breaking. I told him we could just _Google _it, but he insisted that he was smart enough to figure it out. So far we've tried bags of packing peanuts, marshmallows, and tissue paper. They'd all failed.

Gazzy swoops down, landing before me and taking the bag from my hands and turning it over in his hands.

"What else am I supposed to try?"

"Maybe fill a container with water? Eggs float," Emma offers.

Gazzy shrugs. "We could try it, I guess," he mumbles. He walks over to the porch, where we've compiled a bunch of possibly-helpful junk, and starts digging through the pile. Emma looks at me, her fingers picking at the grass.

"Did you lose your ring?" she asks tentatively, as if she doesn't want the answer.

I smile at her, and it's wobbly at best. I haven't had much time to think about what's happened between Fang and I, and I don't want to think about it now.

"No."

She scrunches up her nose and looks away, silent.

"Go get that soldier doll."

I turn my head to see Fang talking to Gazzy. Gazzy crosses his arm, looking around Fang's arm at Emma and I.

"I don't have any _dolls_!" Then, after a second of silence from Fang, and Gazzy mumbles, "Fine."

A minute later he returns with a G.I. Joe-type action figure. Fang bends down, grabs a pair of scissors from the junk pile, and hacks off the dolls parachute.

Oh. Duh.

"Tape."

Gazzy hands over the tape. Fang MacGyver's the egg, taping the parachute to it carefully. Then he hands the egg to Gazzy and looks at him expectantly.

Gazzy shoots into the air with the egg, then calls, "Ready, Max?"

"I'm ready," I say, standing up and brushing off my pants. My mind is racing. What is Fang thinking right now? Obviously he's not retreating into himself or distancing himself, which is a good sign. Maybe this won't be so bad-

Carefully preparing the parachute, Gazzy drops the egg. The parachute catches the air, puffs out, and slowly drifts the egg to the grass safely.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Gazzy cried excitedly, stumbling on his landing as he rushed to confirm the safety of his science project. "Thanks, Fang!"

We turn towards the house, but Fang is not in sight.

I spoke too soon. Maybe this won't be so _good_, either.

The confused looks on Gazzy and Emma's faces make me wonder: Do I have an obligation to, like, tell them what's going on? So far, everything that's been going on with Fang's healing process has been kind of hush-hush. Aaron, Iggy and I have dealt with the brunt of it - Nudge only when Fang lashed out on her. And of course they know things aren't normal, and they know that Fang's going through some serious shit…

But our breakup? If they ask me, am I supposed to tell them? I feel like they'll notice, anyways, but if they ask why? If they try to understand? If we aren't doing the right thing and everything crashes and burns?

I know I shouldn't, I know it's a dirty thing to do, but I push my way into Fang's mind anyways.

It's hard to navigate, has been since he got home unless he's sending thoughts to me or really preoccupied. I see a bunch of stuff about me that I don't really want to see, then something else. It's something Nudge said - maybe something she's saying right now, to Fang. I've never eavesdropped on a conversation through someone's head before, but here we go.

"_Fang, do you want to…I don't know, talk about it or something?" _

Bless Nudge's heart. People underestimate how much that question means in a time like this. Of course, she's also got some freaking balls asking Fang something like that.

Fang's thoughts, which I hope to God he isn't really saying out loud, are not nearly as kind as Nudge's intentions. _Want to be a little more specific? _

Exactly. Which 'it' are you referring to, Nudge? His mother's horrifying rap sheet? His countless mental issues? Maybe the fact that his girlfriend…

Right.

I get up and go inside, letting Gazzy and Emma clean up the clutter of junk outside. I'm in the kitchen, whipping up some PB and J sandwiches for myself when Angel and Nudge edge their way into the room.

"Hey, Max, how do you feel about having a girl's only sleepover at your mom's?" Nudge asks, smiling brightly. I look at her, chewing my sandwich.

"What?" I say through a mouthful of sticky peanut butter.

"Yeah! We'll grab Emma and head over there and watch movies and pig out…it'll be fun," Angel says, less dedicated to masking her worry. "Your mom said she'd made chocolate chip cookies."

"See? Cookies and movies and your best friends! Perfect medicine for a bre-"

Angel kick Nudge discreetly. I set down my sandwich, sighing.

"I appreciate it, guys," I say. "But I'm the one who did it. I can't very well mope around and be depressed. Especially since it isn't permanent."

Angel's shoulders relax. "It isn't?" she whispers.

I walk across the kitchen and lean over the island, looking at both of them. "Fang and I are not over. We could never be over. But we do need to spend more time focusing on Fang instead of on our relationship."

"I don't get it," Nudge says. "What's so wrong with being together _while _you focus on Fang?"

I didn't get it at first either. Now, though, I think I may be figuring it out. Or, at least, I see why this might help. Doesn't mean I like it, doesn't mean it makes it any easier. But I think I see where my mom and Aaron and Iggy are coming from.

"Fang and I have an…unorthodox relationship," I say. "And that's sugar-coating it. But what little things that would have been fine normally are not fine now. Like our fight today? Or the way that I stood up for myself against that kid? Those things wouldn't have even shaken our relationship a couple years ago. But… now, they do. All of those little things are effecting our relationship and Fang's health."

They're both staring at me in confusion. I get it, sure; I mean talking about it right now is kind of how I'm fleshing this entire process out for the first time.

"I guess what I'm saying is… if we keep trying to balance therapy and romance, one of them is going to fail. And that's…really scary."

Angel's nose wrinkles. "But why did you take off your ring?"

"Because we aren't ready."

Nudge doesn't say anything. She is not happy. Well, that makes two of us. I sigh, standing up and going back to my sandwich. The girls turn to leave the room and I say, "Nudge? Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah, I did."

"What…what'd he say?"

"_Check on her_," Nudge says hesitantly. "That's…all he said."

I set down my sandwich, my bite stuck in my gullet.

Of course he did.

• • •

I land on the sidewalk in front of Aaron's car Monday morning. Aaron actually beat us there today. He gets out of the car and I can _just _see Fang's car entering the parking lot when Aaron approaches me.

"Don't say it," I say quietly. "Don't you dare say 'I told you so.'"

Aaron just shakes his head. "You think I wanted to be right about this?"

"Sure felt like it when you were throwing all my mistakes in my face on Saturday," I breathe. "I can't do this anymore, okay? I can't be at war with you and Fang and myself all at once."

Aaron looks unsure about what he says next. "You and Fang are at war?"

"I wouldn't call it peace," I say under my breath. "Maybe civil coexistence, at this point."

"It's only been two days."

I shrug. For Fang and I? It's been an eternity.

"Long enough."

Long enough for every change to feel like a punch to the throat. Long enough for us to awkwardly maneuver around each other each day. Long enough for every flock member to make things worse by trying to make things better.

Fang pulls into the empty spot in front of us and kills the engine. The others start piling out immediately, but he holds back. Our little group crowds around the two cars, chatting and complaining about yet another Monday.

Fang gets out of the car, slinging his mostly empty backpack over his shoulder. He looks at me and doesn't stop and fuck if this isn't going to be the longest day of my life.

"Can I talk to you?" Fang says to me softly, touching my wrist. I'm nodding before the words are even out of his mouth. With one glance at Aaron, Fang's face hardens.

"I'm allowed to talk to her," Fang says. It isn't a question, and Aaron gets that. He starts talking to Nudge while Fang and I walk a couple feet away.

"You aren't sleeping," he says observantly.

"Yeah. One guess why," I mumble.

His eyebrows draw together slightly. "You need to get some sleep."

I shrug, uncomfortable because of his worry for me. Because he knows I've been avoiding private dream land and probably thinks he knows why, too. Honestly, I'm just scared that once we're in a dream, I'll cave. Just like all of our dreams at the beginning. No matter what, we always ended up kissing and holding each other. I can't risk that right now and I'm not strong enough to hold my reserve when tempted. Easier to sneak an energy drink around midnight and crash later.

I joke, "Hopefully I can catch up during Geography today."

Fang's lips twitch. He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking over my head.

"Is everything okay? What do you want to talk about?"

Fang nods. "Nothing too important that I need my shrink for, yet. When I do, I'll let you know."

I bite the inside of my lip.

"We could try to make this hard and uncomfortable, and we could fight it before we give it a try," Fang mutters. "But we're past that. I don't want to play games. If there's one thing I know, we end up together."

"Okay," I whisper.

"You wore my first ring," Fang says, "even after we were split up." He continues in my mind, _Even when you were cursing me to hell, you wore it on a necklace. Because even if we weren't ready to be together right then, you knew we would be, someday._

_You're right_, I push to his mind.

"Well," he says. He pulls out my engagement ring, hanging on a simple gold chain. "Put it on."

**A/N: My question for y'all is a future story-related question: Would you rather read Pre-FAX or Post-FAX? I prefer Post, because there's OH SO MUCH ANGST. But then again, Pre also has a healthy amount of angst. Agh! Such a hard choice! I like Fax anytime, anywhere. There. Perfect.**

**Review! **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi! Sorry this is so late! Or early. Or maybe midday, whatever, lucky you. It's 11:40 here and I'm so damn tired.**

**Guest: Yeah, Max and Fang actually talk about all that drama concerning their personal life in this chapter. Not saying one talk solves everything, and Max still has some reconciling to do with Aaron on that front, but there will be answers. Thanks for the review!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yes, it won't be too drastic. Thank you!**

**KLoves2Read: Make "Learning" a two- or three-shot? Geez. Kind of like how this "no more than ten chapters" novella turned into a long-ass novel? Ha. We'll see. ;) As for THIS review you left me: Yes, Nudge is wonderful. I love writing flock interactions, especially in times of angst. (As you can very well tell). Who would I meet? AW, shoot. That's such a hard question. Probably Iggy, because he's always been my favorite. Anyways, thanks for being the only one to shoot me a question. And you want to be surprised? Even though you got a sneak peek? I see how it is. Hah! Thanks so much, dear!**

**Hagbre5498: Thanks for the double review! Haha. I feel sick, too. Get well soon! And thanks :)**

**Stormchase4533: I'm so glad you love the story still! I love reading your reviews, it seriously brightens my entire day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**flytothemax97: Yeah. Max has never been as good at reading Fang's mind, and it's even harder post-Evelyn. But we'll get there. Thanks for the reviews! And I do have a few deleted scenes piled up, but I have no idea if they'll ever make it to publication or not. We'll see! **

**Nola96: Wow! Three reviews for one chapter! Hahaha. You crack me up, dude. Glad the chapter made you happy (twice). Hope this chapter makes you just as happy!**

**WithoutWings: Max and Fang clear up some confusion in this chapter...then there is more confusion. Sorry!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Ha! I never sign in either. Luckily my phone just keeps me signed in. Anyways, thanks for not being too lazy to review! Your thoughtful comments always make me smile! Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: UPDATE YOUR NEW STORY ASAP. Oh, and thank you. And I love you. That's all. **

**M WARNING: Some dream fun. And you guys will probably hate me, but oh well. **

MAX

Three days later, I'm sneaking out of the house with my pillow.

It's about two-thirty. Nudge, Emma and Angel are watching a marathon of recorded episodes of _The Bachelor _while they work on their homework in the living room. The guys are scattered, and something is cooking in the oven that smells like heaven.

The past few days have been hard. I've been avoiding sleep to avoid awkwardness between Fang and I, and it's definitely been showing. Nudge was kind enough to point out today at lunch that I'd gotten through half of the day with my cardigan inside-out.

So, I'm catching up on some much needed sleep in a stress-free environment. I mean, the house isn't a stressful place, _per se_, but I feel like Fang and I really suck at being broken up. It's hard for me to relax when I'm constantly thinking, _Am I still allowed to laugh at his jokes? Are we still allowed to help each other with homework? Can we still sit this close on the couch without breaking any rules?_

I just need a few hours to myself.

I land in the cave and throw my pillow down on the slab of rock in the darkness. I crawl onto it, curling up on my side and pulling my sleeves down over my fingertips. As soon as I'm curled into my own cocoon, I'm asleep.

Until something touches me. I yelp, jerking up into a sitting position so fast my head spins.

"Wha-what's-what's going…"

My eyes adjust, the familiar nose, ears, eyes and jaw take form before me, and I tiredly reach out to make sure he's real. Then I slump back against the cave wall, breathing heavy.

"You scared me."

"Clearly," Fang says. "Something wrong with your bed?"

Except for the fact that it's technically _our _bed? Nope. The thing is still comfortable as ever. Not to mention I finally can take up as much room as I want. But…

"I needed some peace and quiet," I say.

Fang says gently, "Thought you were going to start sleeping."

I motion to my pillow, but Fang isn't having it.

"At _night_."

I sigh.

"I don't trust myself to dream with you right now," I say honestly. Because, fuck. If we don't start being honest with each other, we never will. And nothing will ever be solved.

Fang sits up. "Will you just…try to get some actual sleep tonight?"

I sigh. "I'll try."

"Okay. Everyone can tell when you aren't."

I glare at him. "Yeah. Why didn't you tell me my cardigan was inside-out?" I demand.

Fang smirks but doesn't say anything. I shake my head. "So, you're going to Aaron's?"

Fang shakes his head. "He's got a date with Emily."

There are a lot of things I want to say about Aaron right now. A lot of unfinished business surrounding the few fallouts he and I have had. Come to think of it, Fang and I have a lot to talk about, to finally hash out honestly.

But, we're talking, _really talking_, for the first time since he gave me my ring on Monday. And I seriously miss him. So I don't want to bring it up, but I realize that if we keep pushing it off, we'll get too comfortable to bring it up again. If we push off talking and just pretend things are okay, it'll work. For a while. Then, when we decide to hash it out, it'll just reopen old wounds.

So I say, "Can we be honest for a second?"

Fang looks at me. I sit up all the way, pulling my pillow into my lap and sighing. "Do you get why I freaked out on Saturday?"

Fang sighs now. _Honestly? _"No."

"First I fight with Aaron," I say, dragging my fingertips over the rock we're sitting on. "Then, you spend weeks at Aaron's, for hours on end each night. And when you come home, you aren't really _there_. As if that didn't scare me enough, you show up hurt. With bruises. When I ask you about it, you get _defensive_. Like it's something to hide. So, yeah, maybe I overreacted, but it was you shooting out all the warning signs," I say quietly. "It fucking scared me."

He doesn't say anything. Maybe because he isn't sure what to say, but I don't think so. I think he stays quiet because he knows there's more. And there is.

"Then Aaron tells me," I say shakily, locking eyes with him, "that you told him about that night. And that hit me so hard, oh my, _God_, Fang - It…felt like you had jumped ship and joined Aaron's side, and for the first time since you've been home, I really felt _alone_."

"You…just kept pushing!" Fang says. "I was trying to sort out my own shit, okay? I didn't even know why that stupid fight with Patrick had me so riled up, and I was still trying to figure it out, and all the sudden you want to fight? You want me to fucking _hit _you? Are you kidding?"

I grab my head. "I don't…_understand_ that!"

"I know," Fang says, stretching his legs out before him. "I was afraid I'd lose it again. I didn't want those boundaries between now and then to get messed up in the middle of a match. And I know that you think I would've snapped out of it when I realized it was you, but all I could think about was that night…and how I _didn't _snap out it until it was over."

I watch Fang quietly. He's always put my safety first, above everything, and maybe he just doesn't get that _he _should come first right now. Or maybe _I'm _the one still not getting it.

"I told Aaron about that night because I had no other way to get him to help me," Fang says. "It was a desperate move. It was low. I shouldn't have done it. But… he didn't think I should start any physical training at all. So I kind of threatened him into it. You know? I told him that I'd taken you that way, forced you to let me, and he was so fucking mad…he threw the first punch _right then_."

"It's not his business," I mumble, wiping my eyes because this is so frustrating.

"I know," Fang says. "I'm sorry."

"I get it that guys talk, okay? Whatever makes you feel like a man-" I say snidely.

"That was not the point," Fang snaps. I look up and see his eyes focused on me, hard and unwavering. "This was not a bragging opportunity! Do you not get that I did this for us? I figured another scene of domestic violence would really break our relationship-"

"I guess you never figured that telling Aaron would actually do the trick, did you?" I whisper, snorting humorlessly.

Fang's jaw locks and he looks across the dark expanse of our small cave, blinking. "You're right, I didn't see that coming."

I move in front of him, kneeling. We're really close, probably pushing boundaries, but I don't care again. "That was _my _act of desperation," I say, holding my fist to my chest. "Breaking up was _my _decision, when _I _didn't know what to do or think."

"I forgive you," Fang whispers. "We'll see it through."

I nod, sitting back on my heels. "I forgive you for telling Aaron."

He nods.

We are silent.

"And I don't regret a single thing we've ever done," I say, because I feel like he needs to hear it. "Ever since you started chasing me, way back before any of this…I don't regret it." I touch his cheek, which is definitely crossing the line, but I don't pull my hand away. Not yet. "I could never regret you."

Fang tilts his head down. "Mind if I test that theory?"

I gasp quickly. The atmosphere changes at that exact moment. "Fang, brakes."

"Why?"

"We aren't…supposed to." Lame, I know.

Fang touches my waist, right below my ribs, and I feel like crawling into his arms. "I don't see anyone who's going to tell."

Well, _that _sounds dangerous.

Still, I'm the one who closes the gap. I guess I've always lived on the edge of danger. It's a very slow kiss, something we haven't shared in a long time. I pull back and Fang dives down for round two and I think, _Don't tempt me. _

Fang breathes, "I'll try not to."

We fly home in silence, together, and walk into the house through the backdoor, Fang speaking quietly and me laughing in response. The others are shocked, to say the least.

"Uh, hi, Max!" Angel calls, the first to wipe the surprise off her face.

"Hey," I say, kicking out of my shoes.

"Why do you have a pillow?" Gazzy asks in a bored voice, coming up beside Fang. I swing the pillow halfheartedly and catch Fang in the face, the pull the pillowcase away from the pillow a bit so I can slip it down over his head.

"It's a…versatile…weapon," I say, laughing a bit as Fang pulls the pillowcase off his head, leaving his hair more of a mess than usual. Gazzy rolls his eyes.

"Okay, whatever, Iggy made pizza."

I roll my eyes at Fang. _I love Gazzy. _

_Even when he's a dickhead preteen?_

I ruffle Gazzy's hair, even though he's unaware of this conversation and just thinks I'm being annoying. He swats my hand away and tells me to 'knock it off.'

_Even then. _

We manage a normal dinner for once. I feel relieved that Fang and I have talked and forgiven each other. And though my unresolved vision still looms in the back of my mind, things don't feel so hopeless today.

Later that night, I crawl into bed and wrap my covers around myself tightly. I promised Fang I would give sleep a try and I'm not as terrified of being alone with him now, anyways, so I decide to honor my promise. Our kiss is still reeling in my mind, and I have no idea why I let that happen. But all I have to do is keep myself occupied and keep the conversation away from romance and we'll be fine. Now that Fang knows my fears, he won't push my boundaries. Especially after our talk today.

Sleep comes so easy it's almost pathetic.

_She's still in bed. It's weird; waking up, essentially, in a dream. The only way she can tell it's a dream is that things aren't exactly real. Time skips, things appear with a thought, walls and furniture change colors, and Fang shows up without any warning. _

_One second he's in the doorway and the next he's in her bed - their bed - right beside her._

"_Whoa, what are you doing?" Max mumbles. "Red light."_

"_We've got a barrier," Fang argues, fingering the fabric of the comforter. "See?"_

"_Yeah, like that's stopped us before."_

_Fang smirks, totally up to no good. He curls up against her, his face close to hers, and she should put a stop to this but she doesn't because she loves breaking rules almost as much as she loves cuddling with Fang. _

"_What do you think about…Canada?" Fang asks. _

"_As a country?" she mumbles. _

"_No. Like, if we were to move."_

"_Why would we move?" she asks. _

"_Because," Fang says, still pulling her closer. His hands are moving all over the place. "We could start new somewhere like Canada."_

"_Choose somewhere warmer," she says, trailing after his hands, trying to catch up and stop them. He laughs in her ear, trailing his big, heated hands down her chest. Max's hands follow and his backtrack, trapping her hands over her own chest. He's laughing and she blushes, pushing his hands away. She pinches him, which is how she combines affection and a warning punch in the throat. Fang lowers his lips to kiss her shoulders and collarbone through her shirt and that's when she realizes he is no longer on top of the covers. _

"_Red light, red light, red light…" she moans as he pulls off her shirt. "Fang-" she cuts herself off as his lips descend again, this time without the resistance of her cotton t-shirt. His lips run over her sensitive skin, paying careful, torturous attention to the most important parts, and she tries to keep her mouth shut and struggle not to pull him closer._

"_This is bad…this is bad…don't stop…" she groans, pushing out of her shorts. Fang helps, grinning against her lips. _

"_Technically, you owe _me _one, right?"_

_Max looks seriously at him. "No."_

_He rolls his eyes. His hand slips between her legs and slides against hot, slick flesh and holy shit she misses him. _

"_Please," she whines quietly, pushing against his fingers. He slowly gives in to her rocking hips, making her smother a moan into his shoulder as he stretches her with two fingers. _

"_Oh, ah, oh God…" she whimpers, squirming against him. It feels so freaking perfect that she doesn't even care they're breaking ten of their new rules. Oh well. She's already close, that's how far gone she is. _

_"Fang! God, I need you," she coos. While a string of pleases leave her lips his finger slowly rubs circles around her swollen button. _

_"You have me, beautiful," Fang coos right back._

...And then I wake up.

**A/N: I'm evil I'm evil I'm evil...I won't tell you why because it will ruin it, but...review. **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hi. Thank you. Much love. Read. **

MAX

I have never hated someone so much in my life.

Okay, that is a lie. There's no way I could ever, ever hate Fang as much as I hate a lot of people…his shitty mother included.

But _what the hell_.

I lay in my bed, my fingers playing subconsciously with the waistband of my shorts. It's six in the morning, pretty much time to get up, and the house is still quiet. I can't imagine what pulled me from my dream so quickly. All I know is: If Fang was going to be a dick and break all of the rules, he could've at least gotten me off.

It's hot, my, uh, predicament is. And sticky and uncomfortable and _really annoying_, considering Fang has just blatantly ruined everything. I mean, it's hard enough for us to act normal around each other _without _him ravaging me in our dream. What was he thinking?

I get up, running to the bathroom and stripping, ready to wash away everything that dream has woken up inside me. Of course, since my life sucks, showers don't really help as much as teenage boys claim they do. Or, maybe mine doesn't help just because I couldn't really bring myself to shower in cold water. I don't know - does it even work for girls the same way?

As soon as I'm out of the shower, the household is awake and bustling. Actually, correction: the household, sans Gazzy, is awake and bustling. I have to wake Gazzy up three times before he makes his grand entrance into the kitchen where he promptly shoves as much food into his mouth at once as possible.

Fang comes down the stairs, dressed and well-rested. _Fucking gag me_. The fact that he always seems ten time less affected by our escapades than I am makes me so furious. In fact, when he kindly hands me a thermos of coffee exactly how I like it, I glare at him.

His face flashes into a shocked expression for a moment, then relaxes into impassivity. _Sleep okay?_

"Oh, fuck you," I mumble, ripping open my Poptart package angrily.

Fang shrugs is off, rolling his eyes. He sets my thermos next to where I'm sitting on the counter and grabs his own mug, the navy blue one Angel got him years ago that says _World's Okayest Brother _on it. He sits at the table and Nudge blurts, "Weren't you guys on good terms, like, ten hours ago?"

I dig into Fang's mind to find him thinking, _There is no way I somehow fucked up between last night and right now. _

Oh, that just makes me see red.

Yes, we kissed yesterday. But it was an isolated event, very controlled and very, positively a one-time splurge moment. What he did in our dream was uncalled for. It was exactly what I'd been afraid of, exactly the reason I'd been avoiding sleep entirely. And what does he do? Convince me to go to sleep just so he can make this ten times harder for me?

I block him. If he doesn't get it right now, then he's hopeless.

Having no idea what to think about us right now, I start thinking about Aaron. We have so much to talk about. Just thinking about everything that's happened since Fang's been home, I wonder if we'll all ever get back to normal. Is it even possible?

My mind runs through everything Aaron's ever done for me. I mean, he is one dedicated mofo. He's like Nudge in some ways; he pushes boundaries, but with good reason. He puts his all into everything, especially relationships. And he's one of the most loyal people I've ever known.

He's clicked so easily with every one of us, taking our problems and doubts and paranoia in stride.

I know then that it doesn't matter if it will be easy to recover our friendship or not. I have to try.

At school, I do exactly that. I make a point of asking Aaron for help with my upcoming Physics final. He jumps at the opportunity, his eyes hopeful, and he tells me he'll be the best damn tutor I've ever had.

"Good," I say. "Because I have a D."

He grimaces. "Okay, well, I'm no _magician_-"

I smack his arm. We're in the lunch line, waiting on today's special which isn't really that special because we have it every Friday. Mozzarella sticks. "It's a D _plus_," I commend.

"At that point, a D is a D," Aaron says. "But no fear, I've gotcha."

"Okay, well don't tell the others," I say. "I can't really yell at them for their grades if mine are barely passing."

Aaron laughs. "True. Struggles of a teen mom with teen kids."

"Yeah, my life is pretty tough," I say.

We make our way to our lunch table where Holden, Nudge, Ella and Fang are already seated. I end up between Fang and Aaron. Fang looks at me, calculating my mood, maybe, and I frown.

"Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't try anything, Fang. I will kick your ass."

Iggy barks out a laugh, sliding into the empty seat across from me. "Sounds like normal, eh? _Finally_."

I angry rip my mozzarella stick in half. These things are so pathetic the cheese doesn't even stretch out endlessly. Instead, the breading breaks in half and all of the cheese goes to one side, the other left an empty, sad carcass.

I feel like the latter at this point.

"What's going on?" Fang whispers. He looks genuinely concerned - and even more genuinely lost.

"What's going on?" I seethe. I've been blocking him all day and avoiding any contact, mostly out of spite. But the fake concern in his eyes, the fake _innocence _- it seriously makes me want to castrate him. _Every single thing we've been working towards, you ruined in one night!_

Fang sets down his fork, eyeing me skeptically. _How? _

I press my hands to the tabletop to stop myself from making fists and pummeling the shit out of him. _How? Seriously?_

Fang raises an eyebrow, looking back down at his food. _Yeah, how? _

"You are unbelievable," I mumble, draining my milk.

The others are watching us, have been for a while, and Ella says casually, "I'm still not used to the mind-conversation thing."

Ignoring her, Fang stands up, scooting his chair back. "Come on."

"No."

"We're being honest, _remember_?" Fang hisses.

"Well I honestly don't want to talk to you right now," I say stubbornly.

"Max-"

I huff and stand up, letting Fang push me out of the lunch room and into the quiet hallway.

"What is going on?"

I break down.

"You are ruining everything!" I hiss, poking his chest. "What you did to me last night was uncalled for! We said we were going to put a stop to all of that."

Fang looks so confused it's almost hysterical. Almost.

"What are you _talking _about?"

"Our dream, you moron," I say.

Fang shakes his head. "What dream?"

"Don't play stupid," I say, smacking his arm. "Last night? Our room? I kept telling you it was a bad idea…"

Fang doesn't say anything. His face stays confused for a long time before he says in frustration, "Max, we didn't share a dream last night."

Cue me opening and closing my mouth like a beached fish.

Oh.

Oh.

_Oh God_.

Fang's eyes widen slightly and his mouth turns up into a sick grin. I finally stutter out, "Forget it."

Fang lets out a short laugh. "I don't think I can."

My face is hot as hell. I can't believe this is happening. I want to laugh and cry and punch Fang all at once. _Wow, Max, way to go, I think to myself_.

"That's why you were mad at me?" Fang presses, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because…because you-"

"Don't say it, Fang, I mean it-"

"-had a sex dream about me?" The skin by his eyes crinkles at the corners. Usually I would find this undeniably cute, a reminder of Fang's expressions as a child before he learned how to mask himself fully. Right now, it's just humiliating.

"Shut up," I mumble. "It felt real."

Fang laughs, like for real this time. "Well, I'm sure!"

I glower at him.

"How could you not tell the difference?" Fang asks curiously.

"I told you, it was…real. Felt real. You know, when I, um, woke up."

Fang raises an eyebrow, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Did you at least finish?"

I elbow him, hard. He chuckles under his breath. I guess he is just really amused by this, but I think it's also that he's really, really relieved that I'm not actually angry at him.

"If you must know, _no_," I blurt. I don't even know why, it just slips out.

Fang grins at me, so unholy it makes my toes curl in my sneakers.

"You should've known the difference, Max," Fang says coyly. "I never would've left you hanging like that."

• • •

"Wanna come running with me?"

Fang's sitting on the couch later that night, typing something up on his laptop. He glances up at me, sees my tying up my beat-up running shoes, and says, "What?"

"Running. With me. Want to?"

Fang contemplates it for a second.

"Sure," he says, closing his computer.

It's that simple. Five minutes later he and I are steadily making our way through the woods that surround our house. There are no set paths, but after running the same trail over and over again I've kind of made a path of my own. Fang follows without question, steadily keeping up with me.

The night is cool, the sky darkening quickly. It's going to storm, I can tell. Electricity rolls through the air and sends some invisible energy coursing through me.

We stop for a breather after we get about three miles from the house. Fang is really getting back into shape; we're both panting the same amount, but he looks fine for someone who just ran three miles. I bend over, breathing slowly, while Fang takes a swig of water, swishes it around in his mouth, and spits it into the leaves.

"Cramp?" I wheeze, looking at him curiously.

Fang shrugs.

I straighten up, walking around the small clearing. "Pretty dense forest we got here, huh?"

He doesn't answer. I turn to make sure he's really as okay as I thought, but he isn't there. At the same time, thunder rolls in the distance and reaches us with a loud _crack_! I jump, covering my mouth and hopefully stopping the squeal from being heard.

"Heard that," Fang says, right in my ear. I jump away from him, gasping.

That's how it starts. As soon as the rain starts to fall, Fang and I are now in an interesting game of silent _catch me if you can_. At first it's just a fun game of taunting. I push Fang, he pushes me. Eventually he takes it too far and backs me up against a tree, restricting me there. We're both thoroughly soaked by now, as the rain is steadily falling.

I break away from him and am automatically on defense. We collide playfully, unthinkingly, and fall to the ground together, laughing and rolling in the damp leaves and muddy puddles. I scoot back, Fang moves to get up, and I pull him into a restricted position where I'm holding his arm back. Fang's eyes flash and that should be my warning sign but for some reason it doesn't register right away.

He yanks his body away, frantically trying to escape, and I resist for a split second, which is more than enough.

_Pop_!

It's the sickest noise I've ever heard. My heart thumps in my throat and I whisper, "Shit. Fang, are you-"

He rolls back, crawling away. There isn't pain on his face, like I expect, but there is _fear_. Real, raw fear. This is bad.

His shoulder is wrong, something is off, I think it's out of socket. I see the fear on his face and feel my stomach roll and have to fix this, now, now, _now_.

"Oh, my God, I didn't mean to-" I step closer, this time holding my hand out gingerly, and Fang moves away.

"Back off, Max," he says, his voice shaking. He stumbles and catches himself with his hurt arm, but the pain doesn't even register on his face.

"Stop! You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!"

A few more rain drops hit my face. This is it. My vision. Thunder cracks almost right on top of us.

"Get away from me, Max."

"Why? Fang, you're hurt and it's getting bad out here, stop moving!"

"Because I will hurt you if you don't get away from me!"

He pushes me, with both arms, not even flinching when he uses his dislocated shoulder. He's so out of it, it's so terrifying.

"Don't fucking shove me!"

He's looking right through me and it's scary as fuck, I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't actually afraid. Fang shoves me, hard, and I stumble back into a puddle of mud.

I can see it in his eyes. He's had this injury before, this exact pain.

But it wasn't from me.

And it wasn't on accident.

I just shoved him into a memory without even thinking.

_Fucking stupid. _

"Stay away from me, Max. I fucking mean it," Fang growls, already backing out of the clearing. "And _don't _follow me."

I watch him stumble off, my heart in my throat.

_What have I just done to him? _


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: It was **_**really **_**hard to watch the Oscars and edit this at the same time, but I tried. **

**KLoves2Read: It **_**felt **_**TMW-y while I wrote it! I was like, wait, am I writing for the right story right now? Haha. Yes, Fang and Max finally handled a meltdown the best way they knew how. They're figuring things out, just like I said they would…yay! Thanks for the loyalty and reviewing for each chapter like it's your job! I really appreciate you and girl, you rock. **

**Hagbre5498: Sorry it took me so long, but it's here! Thank you!**

**Flytothemax97: I'm so glad you loved it! Thanks for the review!**

**WithoutWings: Yeah, well, I promised a few awks at the beginning of the story! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Their lives are very turbulent right now, so I'm glad I somehow made it feel natural enough of a 180. Thank you!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Don't worry too much. Fang and Max are getting there, with the help of some pushes. You'll see. Thanks!**

**Stormchase4533: I don't try to be evil, really! But, I mean, Max had it coming. You don't give up something as glorious as Fang without repercussions. Yeah, Evelyn sucks. Here's your update! Thank you so much!**

**Nola96: Yes, like I said to WithoutWings, their lives are turbulent and sometimes they go from 0 to 60 in a blink. Thanks for the review! Don't worry, Max and Fang are figuring things out, finally. **

**FaxFiction: I am not letting myself read your latest update until I have time to review, which is sadly not right now. Hopefully I can do it tomorrow morning and make it wonderful. I'm excited! Anyways, glad you aren't getting too irritated with Aaron. He's coming from good intentions, obviously, and Fang seriously messed up. I think you understand my story on a totally new level and it makes me so happy that someone thinks like me! Yay! Yes Fang still has issues. Yes, Fang is working through serious stuff. Yes, he gets unexpected help in this chapter and yes, they will figure things out soon. Yay again! Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing and being awesome and just…thanks. **

**WingedArcher01: Please don't kill me. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you a million times for reviewing! **

**Well, read on friends. Sorry it was a long wait for a "meh" chapter. **

MAX

Being torn in two.

That's what it feels like.

Every fiber in my being wants to follow him. It's cold out, raining harder than before, and the last thing I want him to do is hurt himself. He isn't in the right state of mind - my fault - and his shoulder is dislocated, by the looks of it - oh, yeah, my fault.

I need to fix this.

_He won't trust you ever again if you follow him, _a voice whispers in my mind. I know it isn't _the Voice_, because Harrison hasn't used the mind connection since the fall of Itex and Jeb hasn't since my coma. No; the voice in the back of my head is me, a more logical part of me, probably inspired and kept alive by Fang himself. And it tells me, _Don't do it. Don't. He'll be fine. _

Somehow, I feel like I'm deserting him and obeying him at the same time. And it hurts.

I almost want to stay in that clearing until he comes back, but realistically I know he won't. He'll go home or to Aaron's before he comes back here, and waiting for him in this puddle of mud, I'll freeze. Then I really won't be any help.

So, ten minutes later, shivering and drenched in water and mud, I stumble into the house. Searching for him is what I really want to do, but he deliberately told me not to and I am not about to break his trust like that. If I want him to trust me to help him, then I'll back off when he needs me to.

Surprisingly, the only person I run into on my way to the shower is Holden and he says, "You probably tracked that through the entire house, didn't you?"

I glance down at my muddy feet and drop a curse. "Probably. I'm taking a shower."

Holden shrugs and continues down the stairs and I escape into the bathroom, lucky to not have been bombarded with questions. My mind is racing, but somehow the only coherent thought that gets through is one that I've thought a million times too many in the past two years.

_Fucking come home to me Fang. Just…come home. _

• • •

"Who made a mess in the hallway?" Nudge demands. "I just stepped in mud!"

"My bad," I say, dropping my wad of muddy clothes in the deep sink of the laundry room and turning on the faucet. "Hold on, I'll clean it up in a second!"

Gazzy's head of unruly hair pokes in the doorway of the laundry room and looks at me incredulously. "Max made a mess? Where?"

"There must be some mistake!" Angel cries from the family room.

"Oh, ha ha," I call, then add under my breath, "Twerps."

I ring out my clothes and make my way into the hallway with the mop to erase my track of muddy footprints when the phone rings.

"Hello?" I hear clanking, shifting of pots and pans, and then Iggy's footsteps. "Yeah, hold on."

I lean the mop against the wall and hold out my hand for the phone before Iggy is even in the hall with me. As soon as I raise the phone to my ear and say, "Yes?" my mother is sighing.

"He's here, honey."

I sigh, taking hold of the mop again. "Good. Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I reset his shoulder and put him in a sling…he's showering now and I'm going to make him stay tonight."

"He was just thrown into the memory so fast," I say quietly. "I wanted to follow him, but…he told me not to. He was worried he'd hurt me." I laugh humorlessly. "I'm the one who hurt him."

"Max, any normal trauma victim…would not have been strong enough to do that," Mom says in all seriousness. "I know you know his strength, and what it used to be…but don't think for a second it isn't there."

I let that sink in for a second.

"Thank you," I say quietly. "Seriously, mom, thanks. And…not just for calling."

"I know," Mom says. "And you're welcome."

• • •

When he comes out of the guest room, Valencia is sitting in the kitchen alone.

"Do they still fit?" she asks softly, lifting her head as he walks into the room. Fang glances down at the cotton pajama pants the Dr. M had pulled out of nowhere for him and he nods. She smiles and turns, pulling a plate out of the microwave.

"Good. Your clothes are in the dryer now," she says, setting the plate in front of him. "Eat."

She doesn't have to tell him twice. She never does.

"You're a winner, Fang," Val starts quietly, well aware of who she is talking to. This is quite a gamble. "Nothing has ever beat you, not the School and not Itex…"

She turns around busies herself with cleaning the already pristine counter top. "The only thing I've ever seen you lose to is Max, and I think that's just because you let her."

She drops the façade. They both know her kitchen is clean, that she just doesn't want to look at him. So she looks at him. And even at his intense stare, she doesn't look away. Not now, when it really matters.

"So. Why is Evelyn winning?"

He says nothing.

"She is _one person_," Val says. "One person who means less than the dried mud on your shoes, so tell me: Are you _letting _her win?"

Fang's jaw clenches. "No."

"I know you aren't letting her win. I know you're fighting, because I know that you're a _fighter_." Val puts her hands on the counter between them. "But for someone who turned your life upside down, someone who took everything from you, you have to fight a little harder."

This is pissing him off. Maybe this is pushing him too far. But who knows? Who knows until they try? They've tried nearly everything, and now he needs a bigger push.

"Any other person in your position would not recover so totally or quickly. Any other person in your position may not recover, _ever_. But you aren't any other person. So, you are going to get past this."

Fang looks at her. His thoughts, she thinks, must be a combination of _You suck _and _Thanks. _She'll take it. She nods at his untouched plate.

"Eat your dinner."

• • •

The next morning, Fang is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast with Holden and Iggy. I pull my jacket on, walking into the room, the smell of pancakes hitting me immediately.

"Mmm," I sigh, breathing deep. "Smells good."

"Blueberry or chocolate chip?" Iggy asks.

I snort. "Is that even a question?"

Holden rolls his eyes and passes Iggy a cupful of chocolate chips. I look at Fang.

"Where's your sling?"

Fang raises an eyebrow. "I feel fine."

"Oh yeah?"

_Yeah_, he thinks. _And we're sparring today. You and me._

_Fang-_

_I'm ready. _

I watch him curiously. _Okay._

"Pay you back for almost breaking my arm."

"I'm _sorry_," I mumble grouchily under my breath, grabbing the apple juice from the refrigerator.

"You will be."

He's very close to me, now. When I turn around, there isn't even enough room for the apple juice jug to fit between us. If it were just Iggy in the room, perhaps we could've gotten away with it, but Holden is watching us suspiciously and it makes me nervous. Fang looks down at me, blocking out everything else. I suck my bottom lip between my teeth and he _watches_.

_I want to kiss you right now. You have no idea. _

I let out a breath, an incredulous breath of a laugh, glancing once again behind him at Holden and Iggy. After everything the last 24 hours has brought us, this is what he says to me. I can't say I'm disappointed.

_But I won't, _Fang's voice taunts in my head.

Okay. Now I'm a little disappointed.

_Why? Because we're broken up and you aren't allowed? Because we have…witnesses? _I think back. Just by the look on his face, I know he isn't angry that I dislocated his arm. And I know that he is thankful that I trusted him enough to not chase after him. _Because they'll tell?_

Fang's lips twitch. _Because I'm not going to kiss you again until I can do something about it. Finish what I've started. Follow through. _

Embarrassingly enough, my whole body responds to _that_ one.

_And Max?_

…_Yes?_

_Your mom can be a real bitch when she wants to. _

_Oh yeah? _

_Guess we know where you get it. _

**A/N: Sorry its short. Things are about to start getting progressively better for our favorite OTP - but not before one more meltdown. Don't worry, the next one is Max's and Fang comes to the rescue. I know. Exciting. Hold onto your hats, folks. **

**Review! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Sorry I fell off the face of the earth. **

**Sorry I also am literally on my way out the door to work for ten hours (shocker, right?) so I will definitely respond to reviews the next time around. I love you all too much. **

**Fic rec: Go check out **_**desperatelyobvious **_**and **_**Faxfiction**_**, who both have way better grasps of this fandom than I do. **

**Read on!**

MAX

I prop my books up between my midsection and the bank of lockers and use one hand to turn the dial. The bell rang already and kids are booking it through the halls, whether to lunch or to their next class. Kids push and shove behind me, shouting across the halls. I close my eyes as I open my locker and think, _Eight more days. Eight more school days until we're off for two weeks. You can make it. _

_You just have to survive finals first. _

"Let's go, Ride!"

I look up to see Aaron standing a few yards down the hall, waiting impatiently. I close my locker and roll my eyes, moving to join him.

"Want to tutor tonight?" he says, pushing open the doors to the lunch room. "I'm free."

"Uh…yeah, we'll just come over after school," I say, slipping into the cafeteria before him. "I think we could fit in some studying."

Aaron and I are finally on good terms, so I don't feel like bringing up the sparring that Fang has challenged me to yet. Especially because the last time I let Fang make a decision because he was ready, Aaron accused me of "fucking the problems away."

We get in the lunch line. I see Iggy and Fang come into the cafeteria across the room and head for our table. Aaron is muttering something about why he doesn't eat cafeteria salad anymore when two girls from my Lit class turn around and spot me.

_Ugh_.

"Hey, Max, are you going to the dance next week?" What a totally cliché question.

My totally non-cliché answer? "Dance? What dance?"

Aaron snorts behind me, grabbing two juices and setting one on my outstretched tray. He nudges me forward with his elbow and says softly, "Winter dance. It's next Friday, the day before break."

"Uh, nope," I say the girls, forcing a smile. "Have fun, though."

"Why aren't you going?" one of them, Bailey, asks. "It's the perfect excuse to get that boy of yours in a tux."

"Or out of one."

Bailey gapes. "Oh, my _God_!"

Oh my God is right. Jeez.

I slowly add wrapped chicken sandwich to my tray, glancing sidelong at Aaron. He holds up a cup of baby carrots and raises an eyebrow, like, want some? I shake my head. Aaron is such a guy he isn't even hearing any of this.

"…just saying, even though they live together, they probably don't get much alone time. They have like ten million siblings."

"Casey! They _broke up_."

Casey's jaw drops. "What? Why? He's like…_guh_, I mean…That just doesn't make sense."

Bailey smiles tentatively at me while shooting her friend a "You're being really insensitive" look. Casey ignores it.

"Well, all I'm saying is I'll go with him if you don't, Max."

I sigh. I want to explain to her that, yes, technically we are on a break. But we aren't exes. We aren't…over. We are meant to be with each other. He's not open for business.

But how do you explain that without sounding like a possessive ex?

Right. I keep my mouth shut.

"A guy like that has got to know what he's doin', ya know?"

I stare at her incredulously. Bailey mouths _Sorry _and drags her friend away, and I'm still staring off into space in disbelief.

He _doesn't _know what he's doing!

At all!

The only reason he's so good at it is because he has VIP access to my brain! He was a damn virgin until three months ago!

Again, impossible to explain to these girls. Oh well.

"Earth to Max," Aaron says. I look up at him, blinking, and he's holding up a bag of chips. I shrug, letting him throw them on my tray.

We pay for our food then head to the table, and Aaron says curiously to me on the way, "Why is Fang's arm in a sling?"

I blurt, not even listening to him, "Why does going to the dance with someone automatically mean you're sleeping with them?"

Aaron looks down at me. "How does that answer my question?"

I sigh and move ahead of him, sliding into the seat next to Nudge.

"I'm so glad it's almost winter break," Nudge says, exhaustion clear on her face. "I'm terrified for my Geometry final."

"I feel the same bout Physics," I say. "Hey, are you going to the dance?"

I feel slightly neglectful, because if I were a good mother figure Nudge and I would have already talked about this long before now. I hadn't even made sure she had a dress or anything. So much has been going on, though, it's a shock I remember to come to do school on any kind of functioning level.

Nudge frowns. "No. Isaac asked me, but…I don't want to go with him."

I raise my eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Who do you want to go with?"

"There's a winter dance?" Fang asks.

I set down my juice, nodding. "I know, right? I barely realized it was finals week already."

Nudge touches my shoulder, dragging my attention back to her. "There's this guy. Riley."

_There's this guy. I hate when she starts stories that way, _I think, nodding at her earnestly. "How old is he?"

"My grade, don't worry," she reassures mockingly. "He'll never ask me, which is why I should just go with Isaac, but…"

"Don't go with Isaac if you don't like him," Ella says. "Just come with us. We've got a pretty big group, half the people going with us are single."

Nudge frowns. "What? A bunch of single girls and…you and Iggy?"

"Single guys, too," Ella prompts. "I swear. And Emily and Aaron…if they make it that long," she adds in a whisper.

"Hmmm…" Nudge looks thoughtful. The guys have moved onto a different conversation already, Holden making big hand gestures as he tells his story. I focus on eating while Nudge and Ella start talking about dresses. Since it's so last minute, Ella offers some dresses from her past dances to Nudge and Nudge almost faints, I swear.

"What about you, Max?" Nudge asks, pulling me back into the conversation.

I shake my head. "Nope." Then, glancing at Fang, I add, "And no, to what you're thinking."

He nods. I mean, of course, that I'm not saying no just because we're broken up.

"Why not?" Ella asks, frowning.

"Not really my scene."

Iggy snorts. "Ain't that the truth."

Everyone laughs and I reach over to slap the back of his head. He rubbed his scalp, grinning. "Soon as there's a dance themed _Eraser Attack_, I'll let you know."

• • •

Later that night, Aaron and I are going through Physics problems and Iggy and Fang are running through basic defense and offense techniques. We're in Aaron's basement, but the coffee table and recliner have been shoved haphazardly against the wall to make room for the sparring.

"Okay, where'd you get 11.2?" I ask, tapping my notebook. "I think you lost me."

Aaron backpedals, explaining velocity and blah blah blah, and I glance up to watch Fang expertly dodge one of Iggy's blows.

"Pay attention," Aaron goads, elbowing me. "Do you want to pass Physics or not?"

I groan, turning my sights back to the open textbook and notes before me. "Yes. I want to pass Physics."

"Okay," Aaron says. "Watch again - you just have to know when to use which formula."

I watch, unhappily, as Aaron repeats his steps for the problem. He makes it look so easy, and I think maybe I've got the hang of it, until it's time for me to try on my own. I get stuck halfway through, throw down my pencil and look at him.

"Can't I just write the answers on my hand?"

Aaron looks at me incredulously. "You do get why that wouldn't work, right?"

The door at the top of the stairs opens before I can respond and Mrs. Camp calls, "Hon, your food's here!"

Aaron sighs and stands up, grabbing the pile of money we'd created on the table. "Food break, and then we're _really _going to focus on Physics," he says.

Right. We said that two hours ago, when Fang insisted that we all push off homework and beating the living crap out of each other to have some actual fun. Which resulted in us watching Comedy Central for the remainder of those two hours.

"Definitely," I say with a sarcastic serious tone, and Aaron rolls his eyes at me as he moves barefoot across the carpet and up the stairs to retrieve our take out.

Iggy slaps Fang on the shoulder, saying, "Nice, man. That last one fucking hurt." He windmills his arm a couple times, holding his shoulder, then says, "I'm starving."

Fang nods in agreement, sitting down on the couch beside me and cracking open a coke. He's slightly sweaty and breathing harshly, but they both came out of that fight relatively spotless. Fang reaches behind his head, grabs the back of his sweatshirt and yanks it over his head. The grey shirt he's wearing underneath follows halfway up, and I get an unadulterated view of his toned back and folded wings, scars, flexing muscles, beautiful black feathers and all. He throws his sweatshirt then glances at me, pulling the cotton t-shirt down to conceal his olive skin. I curl my toes into the soft carpet of Aaron's basement and say nothing, but it doesn't matter. He already notices.

I dip into his mind and am amused to find: _Broken up my ass. At this point we're just celibate. _

I actually let out a laugh at that one, pushing myself off the couch to get a drink from Aaron's mini fridge.

"Fifty-three dollars," Aaron calls, trampling down the stairs loudly with two large bags of Chinese. "This better be some damn good mu shu pork."

"The _best_," I say, opening my Sprite. "It's amazing."

"Fifty bucks? That's nothing for us. You should see the bill when we go to fancy restaurants," Iggy says, already digging through the bags.

"Yeah, that's why we don't go to fancy restaurants," Fang says lowly.

"Well, that, and because we can't ever seem to reach the maturity level," I joke. "Where's my chicken?"

"Is it the spicy one?" Aaron asks, opening a container of bright red chicken and red peppers.

"Mmm, yes. Over here." I lean forward and grab the paper container he shoves at me, taking a fork and settling back against the cushions happily.

"How do you eat that without washing it down?" Aaron asks incredulously as I fork a piece into my mouth. "That stuff is _hot_."

"As long as you keep eating, you don't notice," I say. "When you stop, that's when it hits you."

"When she's got a few pieces left, you'll want to get a glass of milk ready," Fang says. "Or she'll go ballistic."

"_Can't _be that hot," Iggy says, inhaling his noodles.

Fang shrugs. "Watch."

"Why do you put yourself through that?" Aaron laughs. He's emptying three soy sauce packets into his container of rice, and no one is railing on him for his choices. That shit is _gross_.

"It's so _good_."

Together, we tackle about eight boxes of take-out. Fang is right about the milk, as he always is, and my mouth is on fire by the time Aaron hands me a glass. I gulp it down, almost crying at the relief of washing away the spicy hotness on my tongue. I flop down on the couch after we've cleared all the trash away and groan, my hands on my stomach.

"I can't do anything."

"Yes, you can," Aaron says confidently. "You're leaving here a Physics genius. Ig, would you mind throwing this stuff away in the garage so it doesn't stink up the house? I'm going to go grab my backpack - maybe it'll help to have _all _the notes."

The chastising message of _Stop falling asleep in class _is there - subtle but there. I groan in response, turning onto my stomach. I flex my wings out, stretching them to their full length before pulling them back in slowly. I feel ready for bed.

"You got something in your wing," Fang says, breaking the silence now that the other two boys have left us alone. I peek over my shoulder, ruffling my feathers, trying to shake whatever it is out.

Fang grabs my hand and pulls me up. "Come here."

I turn around and Fang comes up behind me, his fingers digging through my wings and scratching exactly where he knows I like it. I groan, stretching my wings more.

"I think you were lying about something being stuck back there," I say softly.

Fang breathes against my neck, "Nope. Here."

He shows me a small twig about the size of my pinky, then continues running his fingers through my feathers. He takes the small twig and pokes me in the back and I squeak, jumping. I laugh, "Fang, control yourself. No more shenanigans in Aaron's house, remember?"

Fang's wing comes around and whaps me in the head.

"How do you casually ask your ex if she wants to fight," Fang murmurs, his words and his behavior totally contradicting each other. His hands are on my waist, now, his fingers stroking my abdomen. What does _fight _mean again? I'm vaguely trying to remember the quote about love and war, but my brain seems to have shorted out.

"We're not exes," I say teasingly, leaning back against him. "We're basically just celibate at this point."

Fang's hands drop to my hips. I know this is bad, I know this is not how two platonic friends behave, but Fang and I have blurred the line between friends and lovers so many times that I'm not even sure there is one anymore. If this 'broken up' bullshit is all it takes to keep the others satisfied, then we're going to keep doing what we do. And yeah, taking the sex out the equation was a good move, but it's a littler harder to take away the banter and natural closeness that comes with our relationship. If there's anything I've learned in the past few weeks, it's that.

"I'm working on changing that, trust me," Fang says softly.

"We've got a long way to go," I say, my fingers following his cautiously to put a stop to any funny business.

_Right, like that worked in my dream, _I think, rolling my eyes.

"We'll get there," Fang says casually, his chin against the scar on my shoulder that he gave me as a child.

"Are we doing this? Right now?" I ask, just to be sure.

He doesn't answer, but he doesn't object, and that's enough for me. I shrug him off my shoulder and twist away from him, holding my arms out.

"Go ahead," I say, offering the first move to him. Fang shakes his head. I study him, watching his stance, before I shrug and pounce, knocking into his chest and making him stumble.

"Hit me."

"What's going on?" Iggy says, coming down the stairs.

"Hit me!"

"_Jesus_, Max," Iggy breathes, coming closer. I fling up my hand, wishing he could read hand gestures.

"Stop, Iggy."

"Do it," I say, pushing him. "Hit me. Come on, Fang."

After five seconds, I throw the first hit at him. Fang barely, _barely _dodges it, but his reflexes are getting better. I don't give him long before I throw another one, though. This one catches him in the jaw and I say meanly, "You know my moves, Fang. This is _kindergarten_."

"Max! What are you doing?" Iggy says, making his way between us. "Stop!"

"No! It was his idea, now back off," I say. "Come on, Fang. We can do this."

In a flash, Fang's leg shoots up and he aims a kick at my midsection. I jump away at the last second, but he clips my side.

I let out a breathless laugh. "Trying to psych me out?"

Fang grins momentarily before really coming down on me, his fist so fast I barely see it. But I see it.

"Good try," I comment, using another one of our classic sparring moves on him. He's still a split second too slow.

Were both panting, now, and Iggy has resigned himself to the couch. As Fang throws another punch, Aaron enters the room and cries, "What are you _doing_?"

Iggy sighs. "Just let them. It's better they do it with us around rather than hiding it."

I punch him in the stomach, right under the ribs, almost three times before he catches my fist and puts me in a headlock.

"You're catching on," I say breathlessly, wiggling against him.

"I'm a fast learner," Fang says, his lips on my earlobe.

Oh, _God_.

I swallow, elbowing him in the gut so hard he lets up his grip. I kick his chin and roll over on top of him, holding him down. Fang pushes my shoulders back until I'm thrown off of him and we're both crouching, still, in the middle of Aaron's man cave.

I laugh, switching my weight from knee to knee. "What're you waiting for, hon?"

That's when his eyes darken.

I gasp as he lunges for me and slams me against the wall, my head falling back against the wall with a loud crack. Both the boys are up off the couch in seconds, ready to get him off me.

"No!" I see, out of the corner of my eye, Iggy and Aaron stepping forward, and I throw up my hand though. "Not your fight."

"Max-" Aaron says, his eyes trained on Fang, who's rigid and crushing me against the wall.

"I've got it."

Yes, I've got it. Even while Fang has me up against the wall and he's holding my arms tightly, I've got it.

I think, _Fang? _

He blinks, but I still feel like he's seeing right through me. I wrestle my hands out from between the wall and his body so I can touch his cheek, slowly try something to bring him out of his head. _Fang, come on. Fight it. You got it. I know you see me. Where are you? _

His grip on me tightens, and that's the first sign I get that he's fighting. I let out a relieved sigh.

_Fang, she isn't real. I'm real. She's not here - I am. Come back to me. Come on. _

The monster in his eyes is still there, still glaring at me like I'm Evelyn herself, but Fang is there, too, now. He's peeking out, seeing my face and fighting for me. My heart is going so fast that I'm panting. Just as his grip on me gets so hard I think he'll cut off circulation in my arms, Fang let's out a harsh breath.

_Fang, come on. Come back. I've got you. Fight it. _

He shudders, then, and closes his eyes. His grip loosens slowly, so, so slowly, and then he leans his forehead against mine. That took a lot out of him, I can tell. My hand on his cheek remains, rubbing my thumb over the rise of his cheekbone, bringing him back. It's not impossible. Hell yes, it's hard and terrifying and exhausting, but it isn't impossible. And whatever sparked this newfound vigor in him to fight and fight and _fight _is quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"Hey," I murmur, smiling. The boys behind Fang are speechless, watching quietly.

He breathes laboriously against my cheek, not speaking and not moving. Then he lifts his head and presses a kiss between my eyebrows, holding me there for a long, long time.

**A/N: Sorry for the rambling in this chapter. I know it kind of dragged. Review? **


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